Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Christmas Quotes - 2009 edition

Just a few... more may well appear.


Nolan (sitting on the couch near Mommy and Sharon): "I like hanging out with old ladies."

Ethan: "We're the shortest people in the sta- ... country."

Carolyn (after falling prey to Jason's X-Pilot skill): "I made a snow effigy of Jason and thrust two spears through it and knocked off its head."

Mommy: "Now Trevor, don't wash the dishes that are in the frying pan. Just wash the rest of the dishes."
Trevor: "Okay, I'll put all the dishes in the frying pan."

Mommy: "If you guys are going to wear wrinkled clothing, I don't want to go out in public with you."
Four kids simultaneously gasp a horrified, betrayed response: "WHAT?!"

Carolyn: "Doth thou want to do that?"
Kendra: "Dost. That should be dost." [pronounces dahst]
Derek: "Dost! HA! HA! HA!" [slaps couch arm between each laugh]
Sharon: "Isn't it supposed to be 'dost'?" [pronounces dust]
Kendra: "Derek, don't laugh like that again, it's ridiculous."
Derek: "It's ridiculous, or it makes you feel ridiculous?"

Carolyn: "Half a penny for your thoughts."
Kendra: "I don't sell my thoughts."
Carolyn: "Well, that's all right, I'll take them for free. Or if you really want to tell me that much, you can pay me."

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Five Things, for my mother

Well, my darling mother tagged me in one of those "Pass around the fun till we all get dizzy and fall down" chain-blog things. I love my mother - that is, I have a proper fear of her power over Will status - so of course I'll do it. But I'll skip the tagging.

So... just look at the topic! This should be easy!

Five Things I Love:

1) Learning a new language

2) Listening to my brothers and sisters laugh at the movie we're watching

3) Driving on super snowy roads

4) Ironing

5) Eating grapefruit and artichokes (You have to do it first, to understand.)


Just the first five that popped into my head.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

My Cousin and The Queen

This is just to brag on my incredible cousin Chris, who is off studying music in England, and keeps bumping into famous people like the Queen.

Veteran's Day Service

He bows to the Queen right at 4:52.

Now, if the Queen were on Facebook, I think this....umm... interaction would entitle not only Chris to be her "friend", but also accord the same privilege to the rest of us.

But regardless of Facebook, I'm awfully proud of cousin and would think the Queen honored to meet him.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Does this look familiar?

I wrote this down but I can't remember if I copied it from a book, or made it up?

In a galaxy far, far away, the French didn't have any wine. So they had to come up with something else. It turned out to be a bubbly chocolate drink.

Either way... I want some!

Monday, October 12, 2009

Twelve without trying

Sometimes small simple blessings are what you need, and make such a lovely day.

A very productive ten hours of work.

Time to get home and take a whole hour-long walk before dark!

No deer dashing in front of me in the dusk!

Two very successful phone calls.

Our sink handle got fixed. I almost don't know what to do with myself anymore, not having to use the old broken one like a lever.

Corkscrews! They actually work!

Food at home, no cooking required.

Lovely cold fall weather.

Writing a long email in French.

French café music.

No dishes to do!!

And finally, very materialistic, but none the less delightful - the shocking realization that there's plenty of money.

God is good. I don't understand everything He does, but He is good.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Help me decide?

I need some excitement in my life. Can y'all help me pick a new language to learn?

No pressure. You won't affect the serious projects of Chinese and Arabic. This one is just for fun. And there so many to pick from, it's very difficult to decide.

*Finnish
*Welsh
*Dutch
*Afrikaans
*some other African language (hmm, I don't know many by name... Swahili, Ffoldi, Bantu...?)
*Italian or Portuguese
*a native American language
*Sanskrit
*Hindi

I'll warn you that I'm leaning towards Welsh, but always open to suggestions.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Five-Sentence Stories with a Moral

Once upon a time there lived a princess in a far-away land. Because the land was so very far away, the king knew it would take long enough for his daughter's Prince Charming to show up, let alone slay the dragon, and so he suggested to the princess that she take care of the dragon herself. She liked the idea very much and immediately befriended the dragon, built a home for it and visited it every day. Finally the prince arrived and slew the dragon - seeing as how he had not been informed to proceed otherwise. The distraught princess refused to marry the man who had slain her friend, which left her father with no heir to the throne, which upon the king's death did force the far-away land to become a republic.

Moral of the story: Be careful how you use idiomatic expressions.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

One way to describe Stillwater, OK

Background: Two weeks ago, Ardith and Justin and Jason and I went down to Oklahoma for our cousin Andrew's wedding.

====================================================

Stillwater is one of those cities on the Oklahoma plain that is surprisingly obscure till you get there, and then it is surprisingly full of surprises.

Travelers approaching from the north have first to cross the great Kansas prairie. It is land where there is nothing except for - nothing. The great disappearing stretches of fields, to eyes from the Northern farmlands at least, are mostly flat but not quite flat. In other words, not even remotely resembling the ideally gently rolling fields of Iowa.

Coming from the north as described above, the most frequently traveled route (otherwise known as the McDonald's-monopolized tollway) pretends it is passing west of Stillwater, before turning sharply due east, straight into town.

The western boundary of Stillwater is marked by the Blood Lake. It is a blue lake so tinted with red that it would almost look purple, if it did. Some say it took its name from the sacrifices made to the dragon of the lake. Others assert that this is but an old tale begun by the fantasy-minded and slightly inventive brother of certain travelers. These asserters declare that the red dirt of the Oklahoma plains is what gives the lake its reddish hue. And yet it must be asked how the Oklahoma dirt became red in the first place, a question which quite frankly suggests yet bloodier histories for Oklahoma.

On the east, Stillwater is bounded by a vegetable delivery point. After nightfall, the vegetables delivered must be particularly dried and of a particularly grassy or weedy origin. It is advisable not to use vegetable delivery points as places in which to turn around after dark, if you are a traveler fortunate enough to drive too far through town.

To the south of Stillwater lie nameless and unexplored lands. Rumor has it this area contains a terrible fatal triangle, within whose inexactly determined points and angles, all travelers disappear forever - hence none dare name or explore it. Rumor also has it, much less interestingly, that certain travelers from the north may just not yet have ventured south of town, hence the namelessness and inexploration.

In the town of Stillwater itself, there is a system of roads with intriguing names such as "Hall of Fame", "Duck Street" - a particularly great favorite, and most especially, the notorious "Mac------ Road". It is notorious for disappearing, especially by the magic of one fine cousin of certain travelers. By merely speaking its name within a list of directions, he has the power to wipe it off the face of the map. The counter-spell, naturally, being Google Maps.

So much for Stillwater and its surroundings. Now to see what adventures might befall our fine fair travelers, in this fine fair town... or perhaps more to the point, now to see if the fine fair traveler narrating their story can ever get around to finishing the story.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Back to writing

Necessity may well be the mother of re-inventing the wheel. To save two particular eyes from excessive exposure to computer screens while composing the next blog post (not this one), I am back to the good old-fashioned method of composition. It's nearly been forgotten in our computer age. It's called writing. You know, manual writing. Using your hand to move a pen across paper.

Also, I hate to sound anti-technology, but I can't help wondering if writers that had to write instead of type were better writers for it. No copy, paste, insert, backspace. Sure, drafts can be scribbled out on paper; but then, what if your one sheet of paper is your ONE SHOT? Then you'd better get it right the first time - either know exactly how you're going to do it, or have a brilliant brain that assembles everything as you go.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Think Outside the Swingset Assembly Box

I just want to say that it's a great honor to be a part of my family. What other family (most credit to my dad) has such splendid ideas as this:

1) Build a swingset with utility poles!
2) Build an enormous nifty scaffold and winching system to haul up each utility pole!

Here is the story of the first pole, all credit to my darling mother:

The Great Iowa Utility Pole Adventure


I'm sure everyone's seen it already on Mommy's blog, but I am putting it on my sidebar so it can be found and enjoyed later.)

Friday, July 31, 2009

What is France?

I wonder at what age children become aware of the existence of other countries?

Occurred to me when, while looking at a sketch of Paris, I was joined by a three-year-old. I told him it was a picture of France, which is another country. I'm pretty sure he did not entirely grasp the concept.

Monday, July 27, 2009

"Fuzzy" studies indeed!

Much as I hate to ever pick on people, I really think this outrage calls for a post.

It was a great weekend with Ardith and some of her LeTourneau pals - and Justin, of course. However, most of them had majored in a nice hard B.S., even my little brother. And we all know - at least, Mr. Vengeful Cynic knows - that everything besides a B.S. is "fuzzy".

Well, I beg to differ. Some of the humanities may be fuzzy, but foreign languages definitely are not. I mean to prove they should be ranked along with math and science. In fact, I'm really shocked that Spanish or Russian or Chinese (especially Chinese...) would not be a B.S.

But plunging into that really calls for a good night's sleep.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Some 1700 miles later...

... back home.

Seeing as it's 8:30 PM, let's leave any detailed trip accounts for the future, except for the following couple points which I would like to make:

1) South Carolina wins the award for Most Unnavigable State. Particularly since their street names - when posted - are frequently found in small letters on a little post at the opposite side of the six-lane road from you.

2) It's great fun to have friends with whom everyday chatting can be defined as "discussing theological, hermenutical, or philosophical issues".

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The tale....

Nobody has to read this... you'll probably be bored to tears.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It all begins on a Sunday drive home from church, the third time passing a particularly pungent piece of roadkill. Sharon comments to Stacey, "You know, skunks don't really smell that bad. They smell kind of sweet, actually."

Stacey just rolls her eyes and laughs and mentally notes reason #53 on her list 'Why my housemate is Weird.'

*~*~*

One peaceful June evening, when Sharon was getting ready for bed and Stacey was out taking in the evening air...

Sharon's windows happen to look out over the south lawn, and she happened to look out them. And she stopped to watch something galumphing like a little black cheetah along the lawn. It was a decent distance from the house and definitely traveling parallel to it, but it also had definite white blurs on it... Sharon felt it would be prudent to go out and warn Stacey.

Goes out, looks around ...

"What are you looking for, Sharon?"

"Well, I thought I saw a skunk..."

Stacey suddenly grabs Sharon and yanks her toward the door. "Aaauugh! It's running right at us!"

Once safely inside the screen door, they peer out to see nothing... Stacey is kind of bummed, as she wanted to get a picture, and soon afterward goes scouting out with her camera. Sharon is kind of bummed, as the close brush with adventure has so rapidly passed; but she doesn't feel any personal need for documentary footage. The photographer successfully gets a couple distant shots of something skunky skulking in the woods near their back porch.

*~*~*

Days go by. There is little sign of a skunk, except for one late-night sighting under a visitor's car. Sharon unluckily comments that she is curious to know what it feels like to get sprayed, and immediately gets a good chewing out for "wanting to get sprayed". A conclusion that deeply pains her linguistic sensitivities, as that is not what she said at all.

*~*~*

It's Sunday again. The girls are coming home from church, walking along the chicken coop to their stoop and door at the back. As they round the corner, Sharon asks Stacey something, and starts getting annoyed when Stacey comes up with an out-of-the-blue, totally irrelevant response. Until it suddenly registers as very extremely relevant.

"A skunk and two babies just went under our porch!"

Keep those Sunday heels from clomping, quietly unlock the door and whisk it open - and tumble inside gasping and laughing from panic! That's what you should do when you have to walk right over skunks.

Well, since having skunks under the porch was looking extremely impractical for everyday exits and entrances, Sharon immediately hunted for a likely window - the one farthest from the door, of course, perfect - and whipped out the screen to create an instant escape route.

Between smart people who used the window, and hapless guests or disinclined individuals who didn't, no one managed to get sprayed.

*~*~*

The next morning... Sharon wakes up to the beautiful 5 a.m. dimness, fresh morning air breezing through her windows. She turns off the alarm, stands up to stretch, ... stands ... stands ... oh my goodness. She's not moving. Did she stop breathing? Or is she breathing harder? Something's terribly wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe it's that thick musky odor floating in through the window...

There are really no words to describe such a scent. Even if there were, who would really want to think of them? You would try not to breathe it, then find yourself inhaling deeply as you tried to verify that it really wasn't that bad and wouldn't make you keel over and die... Then there was the problem of where exactly it was coming from, and how to effectively block any further vapors - besides all the ones undoubtedly seeping through the walls. After scouting out the hall and the rest of the house, Sharon finally concluded that the skunk must have sprayed directly outside her bedroom windows. The only thing she could really do was close her windows to keep more out, close her door to keep it out of the rest of the house, and get busy with fans and Glade.

She was terribly scared that the Smell had stuck to her (and of all the friends and co-workers she might scare off), as she kept hitting unnerving pockets of it here and there. ... even in her car on the way to work. (To get to her car, she definitely exited by way of the window... wild spiders could not have chased her to the door.) But it seemed to vaporize away, except she had never tried so hard to not open her purse or to not even look at it, all day.

*~*~*

At lunchtime, after calls to the landlady and several discussions with the Sherriff's office, she happened upon a helpful guy from the nearest Critter Control, an hour away.

"Do you handle skunks?" (biting her lip for the "anything, but not skunks" reply)

"Well - I try not to... " (deep disappointment gushes up!)

"... I try to just trap them, not actually handle them." (insert much-needed laughter)

It was going to run $170 just for a visit, but Mr. C.C. asked if the smell was really bad. Well yes, it was really pretty awful. Well, he said, skunks don't like the smell themselves, so more than likely if the mom sprayed right near her own home, she would move the babies somewhere else.

Here was some encouraging news! Except Sharon still felt remarkably disinclined to go home. But there are things in life that must be faced, even skunky rooms.

*~*~*

She went home to a nearly de-scented house - inexplicably but miraculously. Stacey seemed to be alive and well. Sharon found she could even sit at her computer - in her room - and work. It was like waking up from a coma to a whole new, sunshiny world.

*~*~*

Moving on did take time. There were still whiffs of skunk around the porch, around the corner of the house. There were also far too many skunk jokes floating around. People wondering what skunk meat tasted like, or asking Sharon if that skunk photo was one of her friends, or subjecting her to interchanges like the following one online:

Sharon: (by 8:30 PM) I'm going to bed at 9:30!
Friend: (by 9:15) Aww, don't you want to go outside and chase some skunks?
Sharon: (at 9:38) There will be NO skunk jokes! Understood??
Friend: (at 9:41) Young lady, it's 9:41. Shouldn't you be in bed?

*~*~*

It's a weekday afternoon. Sharon is driving home from work. She passes some roadkill.

She sniffs, groans, gags, and turns away.

(Turns to the road, not off it, mother.)

Monday, June 22, 2009

The scent of a good tale...

Ha ha ha! Bet you didn't know I was into puns. Especially once you know that this tale will be about skunks.

Well, I'm not into puns, just threw that one up to laugh at.

So do you want to hear my skunk story? The w-h-o-l-e story? Nobody's heard the whole story yet. (Nope, it doesn't end with "Sharon gets sprayed!", stop getting so excited.)

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

What is a Linguistic Detective?

A Linguistic Detective is a fancy name I just made up for a Translator.

Because, you see, translation is not at all about how much of the mystery you know. It's about how good you are at finding clues and using them to solve the mystery.

That is... it's not about how much vocabulary you know. It's about figuring out ways to find the the vocabulary you need, and especially, it's about making sure the vocabulary is the right lingo for whatever topic you're translating - so that you solve the mystery correctly.

Well, enough of that, just wanted you to know I'm having heaps of fun!

Monday, June 01, 2009

I hate spring

I don't know if I can sleep tonight... In the past 24 hours, I have thrown (literally, with my bare hands) 4 spiders off the premises - at least, off the indoors premises.

There are all kinds of spiders in the world of languages ---

The French spider is quite elegantly long-legged:

araignée (ah-re-nyay)

The German spider is as close as you can get to a cute little round one:

Spinne (shpin-nuh)

And the Spanish spider just sounds like a mean attack spider:

araña (ah-rah-nyuh)

I do hope that none of those spontaneous impressions came across as linguistically discriminatory.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

The long winding road to Translation

Well well well, this poor blog has been neglected long enough.

In the interest of pointing my blog back toward its name, I thought I would share with you how my career in translation has taken off clear into space.

Actually, in all seriousness, I would like to encourage anyone out there who picked up an extra language or two, and wants to use it, just not necessarily as a UN interpreter or a Spanish teacher. Knowing a foreign language is one of those soft fuzzy skills that, once people find out you have it, they say, "You speak -----? That's cool!" And then they seem to forget about it. But don't worry, they haven't forgotten. You just have to Wait.

For the longest time at DePuy, there was No Hint of anyone wanting anything concerning French, German, Spanish.

One day, I was having lunch with some friends at work. We happened to start discussing our educational backgrounds, and they found out my degree was in foreign languages.

Another seven or eight months... at least... are you asking me to actually remember spans of time between momentous events?

One of those lunch friends called me up to ask me to translate "or" into French, for a document. That was short and sweet.

Another five-ish months...

The friend called me up again to see if I would be interested in helping translate some material for a company website into French? Having it reviewed afterward by an overseas contact fluent in French, of course.

Another couple months...

Before we actually got that that project started, the friend asked if I would translate a one-page email announcement going out to several company sites around the world?

The overseas contact liked my work! Of course, the translation needed a little tweaking.

Now starting on the website material, I feel it's safe to say: Sometimes you just have to wait. And keep your eyes open for what God will suddenly drop smack in your road!

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Long Blonde Life, from 3 May 2009

Don't try this at home: show your younger sister how to use the headlights on the new car in broad daylight - or you may forget, leave them on, and you know what'll happen when she tries to start the car the next day, which happens to be Sunday, when she needs to drive herself to church...

On the other hand, this is a great way to do a clean re-charge of the car battery.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Biggest announcement of all time!!!

My family hardly ever calls me. If they do, it is because:

1) They have big plans for me (to accomplish for them)
2) They have super-big news to share

So when Daddy called to see if I was free on Saturday, I knew I'd be doing something... yes! Pick up Jason's new car which just happened to be in Indiana!

When Ardith called me last night... first I didn't recognize the area code, because people from Cedar Rapids just never call me. When she told me who she was, I was ticked pink and immediately keyed up for something - whatever could be momentous enough to call me for...

Pretty much just the most radical news ever for the Hoyt Family! The first child is engaged!

Friday, May 01, 2009

Really

While I was checking my junk mail account on Yahoo, this news headline caught my eye:

"Swine flu not as potent as first feared"

That's English, but I think it should still be translated into behind-the-scenes Media:

"Shoot! We can't keep pushing breaking news about a mutating virus that will explode into a worldwide epidemic, after all."

Friday, April 24, 2009

Long Blonde Life, 20 April 2009

Since not all my hundreds of blog readers are on Facebook, and since no one seriously reads everything their "friends" post on Facebook anyway...

If you think a cheesecake takes a long time to bake, try baking it at 225 F. instead of 325 F.

But try not to try this an hour before you want to go to bed.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Pretending to be an IT Whiz

Hurray!! Stacey's Internet is working again. All it took was an IP re-set (configuration back to automatic) and a system re-start.

Now I can't really take credit for it, as the success results from the following:

A) What Daddy taught me and working backward from that
B) Stacey's computer needing a very long siesta

That said, IT work is fun. Seems to me like it is usually either tricking the computer into doing what you want, or force it to do what you want.

A good example of the latter is one of the times my work computer went to the blue screen for Dumping Physical Memory, refused to respond to any reasonable tactics, and was promptly unplugged. That worked. At least it worked for a week, I think.

Then I did have to get a "real" IT person in to run diagnostics and handle the scientifically medical end of fixing computers.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Great Showdown

Betcha didn't know a TV show review could be preparation for Easter Sunday, did you?

Well, I didn't either, till five minutes ago when I finished an episode of Bonanza titled "Showdown". Sorry to spoil it for anyone, but to make the point I really have to run through the whole story:

A gang just robbed a bank in Virginia City, where the Cartwrights live. The gang leader sends one of his guys to the Cartwright ranch (the Ponderosa) to become a hired hand and pick up what news he can, while the rest of the gang lies low. So Sam heads off, gets hired, gets suspected by Little Joe but no one else, finds out the Army is coming in to look for the gang, and goes back to his boss to report this.

Little Joe happens to be following him and gets caught. The boss sends Sam back to the Ponderosa to find out from which direction the Army will be coming. Little does he know the sheriff is waiting at the Ponderosa for him. He has found out about Sam's prison record (true) and wants to take him in. Ben Cartwright says that's no valid charge and Sam will stay at the ranch with them, sheriff leaves. Sam, however, does not thank the Cartwrights, instead he clears out, clubbing Adam over the head when Adam starts talking to him.

Sam gets back to his boss, finds him beating Little Joe, manages to save little Joe by suggesting an alternate plan and then he and Joe gang up to beat the gang. Little Joe promises Sam he has friends now. Meanwhile, Ben, Adam, and Hoss are coming after Sam with a bunch of men, having decided they were wrong about Sam and looking for Little Joe. They see Little Joe coming in the distance, and Sam with him, and one of them says, "I guess we were all wrong about Sam". Show ends.

I don't know about you, but I can imagine two untold scenarios:

1) Sam goes on to work for the Ponderosa and no one ever finds out he was part of the gang
2) They find out he was part of the gang but he gets off because he helped bring in the gang

But regardless of what happens to Sam, what strikes me is how the Cartwrights deal with him. Most of them trust him, despite knowing nothing about him. Little Joe doesn't trust him, but once Sam starts fighting on the right side, he's his friend. But why does Sam start fighting on the right side? Because the Cartwrights are good people and do good to him, even when others are suspecting him. They DON'T know that he's with the gang, but they are good, so they believe in him.

Similarly and yet powerfully opposite, we can now be on the right side. Why? Because God is a good God and did good to us, even when we were His enemies. He KNEW we were His enemies, but He is so good that He wasn't just willing to "give us a chance" to prove ourselves to Him - He knew we couldn't do it, so He gave us the chance, at His own expense. His goodness and love are overwhelming.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Don't read this, look 2 posts down

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 3 is up, below... That's what you get when you start one post and publish another one later!

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's going to be a long, blonde life

Well, since none of my siblings are posting, I guess the torch is left to the one who probably shouldn't even be allowed to have a blog, let alone write for it...

Today is Saturday, which means yesterday was Friday. Kendra and I spent Friday evening exploring the trails which lie between her dorm and my chicken coop. Then I had a brilliant idea. I had coupons for Dairy Queen that would expire March 31, and Dairy Queen was nearby. Why not use them before they expired?

After some debate, we finally settled on using the one that would get us a wrap and a blizzard. Let's clarify how the coupon worked. If we bought a blizzard, we got a free wrap.

So we got up to the checkout, placed our orders, and the girl asks, "What size blizzard?" Kendra is about to opt for a small. I think, Wait - why not get the most possible? "Kendra, do you want a large? Can we get a large with the coupon, ma'am?" The girl looks at the coupon and informs us that it doesn't specify a size, so yes, we could get whatever we wanted. So I voted for a large. Kendra was rather overwhelmed at my generosity - if you can picture Kendra being overwhelmed.

We got out to the car and she asked me why I had paid for a large blizzard? I said I was just trying to get the most possible off the coupon. Then I thought about it.

What can I say. Nope, nothing. Let's just say goodnight there. and hope someone's learned her lesson from that one.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 3

Here is Installment 3. Yes, she knows. Sharon... is... slow. Go ahead and say it (or type it) to her face, she won't be too awfully immensely hurt.

================================================================

It was still the same day. The team had just landed in Guatemala. Three buses were waiting for them... one for luggage (mostly), two for people (mostly). Off for the mission house. Along the way they took in the Guatemala sights of hot-pastel colored buildings and infamous desperado chicken buses - which will pop into this story again at future unnerving intervals.

The mission house lay at the end of many one-way, steeply inclined, narrow streets in San Lucas. When they arrived, it felt like 7 p.m. and their bags were promptly dumped and they were ushered into a big room with the places already set and served what they supposed was supper... Afterward, during announcements, they were given their freedom for several hours till supper (Oh my goodness - do we have to eat again, so soon?) and strict orders about the type of relationship allowed with the tap water. Basically, it was a total mouth-off relationship, aguatically speaking: no drinking, no inhaling, no brushing your teeth with it, unless you wanted to go on medication the rest of the trip.

After this, many people went off to brush their teeth, including our heroine, who promptly had people screaming in her face "NO! NO! Don't use the water!!" as she rinsed out her mouth... time to trot off for some Cipro.

At this point, most of the team was ready to just settle down and relax after the long day of traveling. One person was, however, very antsy after being cooped up on planes all day - despite enjoying them immensely - and somehow she persuaded some other young folks to go on a walk. It started out as a group of 3 girls, who were informed they had to take along big, tough guys. So they collected people and walked down from the mission house into San Lucas. Their friend Sam excited their appetites by pointing out a dead smashed cat by the roadside as their future supper. Down in the middle of the town, they found a little round structure with a deck for the second floor. There were lots of kids playing around this and on the soccer court, and some of the team members instantly made dozens of friends by pulling out digital cameras and taking pictures with the kids left and right.

They got back about dark, to find people huddled in coats and blankets complaining about the 40-degree cold, and a sumptious supper awaiting them. Right after supper the 4 teams were listed off - 2 medical, 2 VBS, one of each on each bus, to go to separate locations each day. But for Saturday morning they would all be together in San Lucas.

And after all of this excitement, and that excitement, after translators and friends of the team showed up to visit, at some point they all fell into bed and slept hard.

The End of Day 1!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Commentary

This is not to be funny, or to poke fun, or to be cute, or to be blonde just for kicks. Honestly. This is what might go through someone's mind if they knew quite a bit about current and historical events, but not excessively much... and happened upon this article below, that has such an interesting sequence of reporting.

News article from the Guardian that was on Drudge Report yesterday. Non-copyrighted commentary is in italics between asterisks.

================================================================

To see this story with its related links on the guardian.co.uk site, go to http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/13/north-korea-japan-nuclear-missile

Japan warns it may shoot down North Korean satellite launcher
Justin McCurry in Tokyo
Friday March 13 2009
guardian.co.uk

Japan today threatened to shoot down a satellite that North Korea plans to launch early next month if it shows any signs of striking its territory.

*Oh my goodness. North Korea's launching a missile and Japan's jumping to shoot it down?*

Tokyo's warning that it would deploy its multibillion-dollar missile defence system raised tensions in the region after North Korea said that it had identified a potential "danger area" near Japanese territory along the rocket's flight path.

*Grand, grand, grand... so North Koreas is saying, "We're launching this missile and it might hit you guys in Japan, just giving you a heads up."*

The regime told the International Maritime Organisation that the missile would be launched during daylight between 4 and 8 April, and that its boosters would fall into the Sea of Japan ? about 75 miles (120km) from Japan's north-west coast ? and the Pacific Ocean.

*Well, that was smart of them to plan a missile launch that could drop things near Japan.*

Officials in Tokyo said they reserved the right to destroy any threatening object in mid-flight, despite North Korean warnings that it would consider such a move an act of war.

*Here we go... Japan: "You launch something and we are shooting it down. This is definitely a threat." North Korea: "You shoot at our missile, that means WAR!"*

"Under our law, we can intercept any object if it is falling towards Japan, including any attacks on Japan, for our security," Takeo Kawamura, the chief cabinet secretary, told reporters.

*Oh... Japan is being pretty rational, not to mention expressing itself pretty clearly... Japan: "If you launch something that heads our way, we're intercepting. And yes, we're still intercepting even if you're just doing an all-out attack."*

Despite repeated assurances from Pyongyang that the rocket is a vital part of North Korea's space programme, other countries in the region suspect the hardware is a Taepodong-2 ballistic missile.

*Neighbors: "Space, my foot. It's a ballistic."*

South Korean intelligence has reported a build-up of activity in recent days near the missile's launch pad at Musudan-ri base on its neighbour's north-east coast.

*(imagines South Korean intelligence center with those hospital heart monitor screens on all of North Korea's bases. All show undulating relaxed patterns below the line "Normal" - , except the one for the Musudan-ri base where there are violent peaks above the line "Build-up" - )*

Any missile launch, even one intended to put a satellite into orbit, would represent a snub to the US administration, which has repeatedly invited the communist state to return to negotiations over its nuclear weapons programme.

*Oh wait, this is a SATELLITE and not a missile? Why does this remind me of two kids poking each other?*

Last month the US secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, urged the north to cancel the launch, which US officials say would be in violation of a 2006 UN security council resolution.

*I didn't know that... so the UN said "No launches, period", including satellites.*

The South Korean foreign ministry said in a statement: "If North Korea goes ahead with the launch, we believe there will be discussions and a response by the security council on the violation of the resolution."

*South Korea: "If North Korea launches something that could hit something, the U.N. Security Council will probably hold a meeting."*

The UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, said a missile or satellite launch would "threaten the peace and stability in the region."

*I would say that the pre-launch talk and assumptions have already generously threatened the peace and stability in the region.*

After Japan's transport ministry ordered airlines and shipping companies operating in the area to take precautionary measures, Japan Airlines and All Nippon Airways said they would alter flight paths on several European and other routes.

* All Nippon Airways = All Japan Airways... US Airways... hee hee!*

Speculation has been mounting for weeks that North Korea was about to put its hitherto unreliable missile technology to the test. The regime suffered a setback in 2006 when a Taepodong-2 missile ? theoretically capable of reaching Alaska ? blew up moments into its flight.

*Wow, so the technical danger is at least as great as the political danger, and probably the same thing for a lot of people.*

Japan has intensified efforts to protect itself against conventional missile attacks since 1998, when the north test-launched a long-range rocket over its territory without warning.

*So there is a history. This chapter looks like an improvement. North Korea is actually warning you, Japan.*

In response, Japan and the US have jointly developed a ballistic missile defence system that includes interceptor missiles on board ships and Patriot missiles dotted around Tokyo.

*That's probably why North Korea is warning Japan. I had no idea the U.S. was in this too...*

But experts believe that a rocket capable of launching a satellite into orbit may be too high to intercept.

*Science: "Guys, seriously. This may well go out of sight, out of mind."


Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited 2009

=================================================================

Closing commentary: From the commentator's viewpoint, in this imperfect world, interactions between nations look a lot like interactions between individuals, only to the nth power, where n = average number of influential individuals involved on each particular nation's "side".

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Spring, spring, spring-ing ahead

No, this is not an exciting post that you will want to read.

Just wanted to assure everyone that Sharon is still alive over here. And plans to continue the Guatemala story shortly.

And the coughing has subsided almost entirely.

Twice now I have felt a very strong urge to remind everyone to set their clocks back an hour. How about you not listen to me for Daylight Savings time reminders.

It's raining outside. It's a beautiful drippy evening. And so I think this is the perfect time to share a favorite excerpt from a favorite book - Nightwatch, by Terry Pratchett.

===================================================

The main character is standing in the police department and hears a song, by a group of trolls passing by outside.

Somehow, you could tell it was made up by a troll:

"Now we sing dis stupid song!
Sing it as we run along!
Why we sing it we don't know!
We can't make der words rhyme prop'ly!"
"Sound off!"
"One! Two!"
"Sound off!"
"Many! Lots!"
"Sound off!"
"Er... what?"

=======================================================

So I hope it's understood that I'm posting this Saturday night, to be read on Monday, not Sunday. Just so no one gets on me for irreverency.

Ardith should get a prize, as it happened to be her copy of the book I was reading in bed, and dropped, because of uncontrollable laughter.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Seeking counsel from coughing experts

I'm glad to be coughing... you know, bronchitis or whatever is much better than an actual miserable cold.

But is there some correct way to cough that doesn't:

A) make you gag
B) give you a severe headache in the top back peak of your head

Better yet, can you pull the whole "mind-over-matter" trick and just not cough? I'm sure my head, abdomen, and colleagues would be eternally grateful to you (although the lungs might not be...)

Monday, February 23, 2009

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 2

Well, there they were... 12 of the 14 Warsaw team members, on the plane for Miami.

Sharon was so happy to be waiting for takeoff, after a 2-year break from flying. And she had the privilege of sitting next to Brittnee for her first flight! See the photo below. And you thought Sharon didn't take any pictures on the trip. Hah!

After some vigorous gum chewing, the plane settled down into peaceful quiet, with the Warsaw percentage dozing off... quiet, except for the loud snoring of a certain doctor, which was on purpose to keep poor Amanda "Demanda" awake.

(Sorry, no one is getting mercy in this story. Please note that names within quotes are the Spanish pet names picked up at some point during the trip.)

They were landing in Miami. What perfect squares the city was laid out in, and yes, decorated with really-truly palm trees! And off through security again, whipping off coat, sweater, shoes, scarf, yanking them back on... and on, following the direction that the sea-shells gilded onto the floor pointed, on to find the next gate. Till they were helpfully accosted and accompanied by Danny from Delaware. Oh, the hugs that ensued on meeting up with the Delawarians... at least, for the old-timers. And oh, the happy waiting for the next flight, the time whiled away with sushi, orange juice, and Danny's infamous jelly beans.

You would not believe how quick it is to get from Miami to Guatemala City. One minute you are filling out the customs papers handed out first thing by the stewardess, and the next you see the beautiful mountains of Guatemala circling up to meet you.

This is not yet the end of the Longest Day Ever, which began at 1 AM. But it is after 9 PM and high time for someone to go to bed and get more of that wonderful sleep that you can see she got on the plane.

To be continued...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 1

1:15 AM - - the alarm clock goes off. Time to get uncurled from that chair, grab those bags, and get out in that car. Time to go to Guatemala!

It's an eerie 10-minute drive to meet the rest of the Warsaw Team at Dr. Gary's clinic. Sharon is plenty early... unfortunately but ironically, once the van and trailer arrive to load up, she discovers that she has not forgotten her passport... no, she left it back at the house on purpose because she was convinced someone else had it.

"If I don't get back in time, just go without me," she says and trots off to her car. Back to the house at a very efficient speed, trying to imagine how she'll ever live this down if the team has to leave her behind...

But don't bother feeling for her now, because it is about to get much, much worse. Passport securely in purse and almost back to the clinic, Sharon slows way down for the intersection with the blinking red light, doesn't quite stop before she turns right past that police car pulling up. <Bam> it whips around with its lights.

Okay friends, it is now high time to be sick at heart, especially while we wait for the officer to finish chatting with a passerby. But God in His goodness lets the officer skip over that old registration Sharon yanks out of the glove department. 10 minutes later, she is free.

What suspense to approach the clinic parking lot... yes! The van is sitting there, waiting!

2.5 hours later, the team safely arrives at O'Hare, despite everyone breathing and fogging up the windows. They get almost all their passports scanned in when an airport deadline suddenly slams down. Off runs most of the team, shoving baggage and medicine totes as they go - off to run through security and run to the gate and get soundly berated by the ticket lady for not being early. Somewhere behind them are Tim and Aaron, trying to catch another flight.

To be continued...

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Anakin, we love you... despite yourself

I had a first thought for this post, but on second thought... how about saving that first thought for tomorrow.

Let's go to a third one, which is really a lot older and should get priority anyway.

[Commercial - reminded to post this by reading the fabulous story my brother Jason is telling us over on his blog. So far it appears to be a space drama that he's making up each night as he types, albeit with considerable unexpected twists, such as sudden group deaths.]

The other night I was watching cable TV. You know, since we have it. Actually, this time I had decided to skip my cable TV and go over to a friend's house so I could multitask - watch cable TV and walk on the treadmill.

I was flipping through the dizzying array of channel choices, when there it was. The Phantom Menace! I think. Let me see, what are the titles of the other two last-but-first-but-definitely-last ones... oh never mind. Anyway, I was mildly ecstatic for about 10 seconds, till the intro had rolled off into space and suddenly there was a distinctively animated creature. Yes, down in the bottom right-hand corner was some Toon Network logo.

Out of sheer curiosity, I stuck around for a couple minutes and ended up watching enough to get these fine lines. Don't they just bring back all the glory of Star Wars?

We've been betrayed.

I don't want to kill you...

Anakin, you must learn to control your insults.


By the way, you shouldn't pay too much attention to my blog post titles because frankly, some of them are just to get attention.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Pictures, maybe

Testing 1-2-3...

Ice Storm!

[Update] Make that "Pictures, definitely"

(December 2008)

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

We working women

My word, housework takes a long time. Is that why I do it only twice a week, or is that because I only do it twice a week? Or is it a vicious cycle that's going to accelerate exponentially till it collapses in on me? And on whom can we blame all this?

Monday, January 19, 2009

If you're bored on a Sunday

Being tired is so tiring.

Well, it is completely my fault for volunteering at 3 p.m. on Sunday to meet halfway to pick up Kendra. Any way you look at it, halfway is still 8 hours for each party. Add in lots of black ice on one side and super good roads on the other, and you have each party traveling at least 10 hours.

(Mommy, I hereby accept full responsibility. You can even kick me out of the will if you want.)

So from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m., it was quite a Sunday afternoon drive. And a great adventure! And definitely worth it to have Kendra safely here and ready to start classes tomorrow. And to see Daddy and Ethan for about 2 minutes. And almost worth it... yes, I think almost worth it to feel this ready for bed!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Can I do this?

"Yes?"

"The bill was $2200 and I paid $4000. How can that not be paying it in full?"

"Well, when is the new company going to take over? Because you guys are doing an awful job. Is there someone I can call and complain to?"

"And your name?"

"Okay, you all could stand to work on your customer service as well, because your attitude really stinks. Bye."

*~*~*~*~*

I'm just wondering. Can I say this and be Christ-like? (In a nicer tone, of course.)

Where exactly does "turn the other cheek" come in? My first instinct is to say, "That's for when I am being persecuted for my faith." But the context in Matthew 5:38-42 seems to be anyone taking advantage of you or being mean to you.

Put it back in the business world. As my friend points out, if you never "complained" to the manager, the disagreeable person could go on being disagreeable and making things worse for the company. Now I think if there is any room to "complain", it should be for the employee's sake just as much the company, or the manager, or the general public, or myself, or anyone.

Looking forward to having everyone respond and answer this for me. So nice of you.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Wheee, here we go!

Quick, let's see how much more I can say before anyone realizes there are new posts on this blog...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My car suddenly showed up with low oil, so I checked it today before leaving work. The parking lot at work is a nice flat place. The lady pulling out just in front of me stops, rolls out her window and asks, "Are you all right?"

I was kind of expecting that, as should all little blond girls who stand before their popped hoods. So I responded politely, "Of course. I'm just checking my oil, like all the other smart people who check their oil after work. That way the car is level and the engine has cooled down for a while." Or, I guess I may have stopped after the "checking my oil" part.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everyone is talking about all the snow we are going to get. Some say 6 inches. Some say 3. I almost want to chime in with my colleague from Minnesota, "Snow? What snow?" I hope we do get a good dump sometime soon. We were kind of spoiled last year, getting snowed in twice before Christmas.

"Which brings up the question," says someone else, as we are discussing all the snow that's coming, "why do humans live so far north?" Because some of us are tough and you aren't, I guess.

I don't necessarily live for the cold either, but goodness gracious sakes, let's at least enjoy it - brag about how hardy we Northerners are, or take it on as an exciting adventure. Hunkering down is all very well, but I find that just makes you feel colder.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once upon a time there was a girl who got a car, got herself auto insurance, and set up automatic monthly payments. No thinking required.

This begins around April. Come December, she suddenly recalls that she agreed to a 6-month plan and it has probably expired by now, no matter how you count months. She gasps as she finds her insurance card with an expiry date in October, then hunts and hunts through her mail for an expiration notice that never shows up. Poor girl, she is starting to feel anxious, and - worse yet - stupid. (Save your tears because there is a whole lot more stupidity coming.) Now she is pretty sure she cannot legally drive, at the worst possible time of the year, when she loves offering rides to one and all over the snow and ice in her car with the fantastic snow tires. Oh, it hurts. And even stingier on this Saturday morning is the thought of leaving for home on Tuesday!

Now, she could have just check her bank account online to see if they had debited her payment again that month, but no, if she had thought of it, it probably would have proved nothing.

Well, she manages to bum rides off others till Monday morning, when she risks driving herself to work. The memories of lights and sirens during her two recent escapades with the police keep floating through her mind. (I don't care about the punctuation or clauses, just read the story.)

First thing on lunch break, she runs out to make a call on her cell phone. Yep, it's to the insurance agent. As he looks up her account, she tries to imagine how many days they could drag out a policy renewal, and what she will do about getting home..."

"Oh, you're fine. The policy just gets automatically renewed if you don't tell us otherwise."

Oh! She's fine! And she could just - do something really awful, maybe even to someone, for having gone through all that stress for nothing ... except that once she sees the joke on her, it's really too funny to not laugh all the way back in.

But that story is no excuse for "dumb blonde" jokes. It's not "dumbness", folks. It's a relatively rare, violent attack of stupidity.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This post would not have been possible, were it not for siblings like Ardith and Jason, and quite possibly some parental genes as well.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

After Christmas

2,800 miles later... back in Warsaw!

(And really, 5 days ago)

We are (read: I have talked Stacey into) leaving our Christmas decorations up as long into January as possible. The Christmas tree can stay up as long as at least 70% of it is not on the ground. I know it's already after the technical date of Epiphany, but if our holidays are symbolic anyway... if we celebrate Christ's birth on December 25th, it's really more effective to wait at least a month for the Magi to arrive. Besides, Stacey just got a beautiful nativity scene plus the Magi, as a Christmas present. I think it would be a complete lack of courtesy to immediately pack it away till next Christmas.

And time is flying by this year, as someone at work pointed out to me - only 50 weeks to go.

... And then it [Christmas] goes and leaves us here
What will we do the rest of the year?
We will live the whole year through
Only looking forward to
Christmas-tide and Christmas cheer
Yes Christmas comes but once a year.

(No, I didn't make that up, it's a song.)