"What is that?" asked the chicken.
"It's a road," said the duck.
"Let's cross it!" exclaimed the chicken.
"I don't think that's a good idea," said the duck.
"Why not?" asked the chicken.
"Because you might die!" said the duck.
"How do you know?" asked the chicken.
"Because, haven't you heard the jokes?" replied the duck.
"No, what jokes?" asked the chicken.
"The ones that go, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' " answered the duck.
"Really? There are jokes about me? Cool!" said the chicken.
"Yeah, they're usually pretty funny," remarked the duck.
"So what's the answer to the joke?" asked the chicken.
"It depends, there are a lot of variations," explained the duck.
"So what's one variation?" asked the chicken.
"Ok, here's the original: 'To get to the other side.' " answered the duck.
The chicken and the duck looked at the road.
"That's funny!" laughed the chicken.
"Yeah I know!" agreed the duck.
"So how is that going to kill me?" asked the chicken.
"What?" asked the duck.
"How is crossing the road to get to the other side going to kill me?" asked the chicken.
The duck looked at the road.
"Well, the joke is asking why the chicken crossed the road, in the past," answered the duck.
"So it's a historical joke, how is that fatal?" asked the chicken.
"Because it's in the past, and it never says the chicken got to the other side," explained the duck.
The chicken looked at the road.
"But that's not the point of the joke," said the chicken.
"What's the point?" asked the duck.
"The point is the reason why the chicken crossed the road," said the chicken.
"I know," said the duck.
"So how is that going to kill me?" asked the chicken.
"What?" asked the duck.
"How is my reason for crossing the road going to kill me?" asked the chicken.
The duck looked at the road.
"Because the reason goes in the obituary," said the duck.
"Whose obituary?" asked the chicken.
"The chicken's," answered the duck.
"The chicken died?" gasped the chicken.
"Yes," said the duck.
"How did the chicken die again?" asked the chicken.
The duck looked at the road.
"I don't know, probably a car hit it," said the duck.
The chicken looked at the duck.
"Well, that's easy. I'll just look both ways," said the chicken.
"Are you going to cross the road?" asked the duck.
"Yes!" replied the chicken.
"Wait!" said the duck.
"What?" asked the chicken.
"Why?" asked the duck.
"Why what?" asked the chicken.
"Why are you going to cross the road?" asked the duck.
The chicken looked at the road.
"Well if I don't tell you, maybe I won't die," said the chicken.
The duck looked at the chicken.
The chicken looked at the road.
The chicken looked both ways.
The chicken stepped into the road.
......
8 comments:
What a dumb chicken.
Still, this is the best chicken-crossing-the-road joke yet.
-Carolyn
So the chicken's dumb, huh? :) And I didn't even mean for this to be a joke, just a story! But if you laughed, that's great!
I can't believe it! You left out the best, most sadistic part of the whole story!
No way, perfect ending. Love it.
Come on Derek! Nobody said there was a sadistic part to the story!
Wow, I am so honored, an approving remark from Mr. Wheeler!
"If I don't tell you, maybe I won't die" is a wonderful line. Reminds me a bit of the Oracle in The Matrix.
You have, of course, seen the lists of why the chicken crossed the road, according to various authors and other celebrities? I've always enjoyed "Hemingway's" answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
The public cries for more.
- The Public
Hmm, maybe I need to watch The Matrix again! Yes I knew there were many renditions of "why the chicken crossed the road", but I'd never heard Hemingway's... that's AWFUL, how depressing! (but slightly funny)
The Public? What Public? Ok fine, we'll see what we can do.
Post a Comment