The tale....

Nobody has to read this... you'll probably be bored to tears.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It all begins on a Sunday drive home from church, the third time passing a particularly pungent piece of roadkill. Sharon comments to Stacey, "You know, skunks don't really smell that bad. They smell kind of sweet, actually."

Stacey just rolls her eyes and laughs and mentally notes reason #53 on her list 'Why my housemate is Weird.'

*~*~*

One peaceful June evening, when Sharon was getting ready for bed and Stacey was out taking in the evening air...

Sharon's windows happen to look out over the south lawn, and she happened to look out them. And she stopped to watch something galumphing like a little black cheetah along the lawn. It was a decent distance from the house and definitely traveling parallel to it, but it also had definite white blurs on it... Sharon felt it would be prudent to go out and warn Stacey.

Goes out, looks around ...

"What are you looking for, Sharon?"

"Well, I thought I saw a skunk..."

Stacey suddenly grabs Sharon and yanks her toward the door. "Aaauugh! It's running right at us!"

Once safely inside the screen door, they peer out to see nothing... Stacey is kind of bummed, as she wanted to get a picture, and soon afterward goes scouting out with her camera. Sharon is kind of bummed, as the close brush with adventure has so rapidly passed; but she doesn't feel any personal need for documentary footage. The photographer successfully gets a couple distant shots of something skunky skulking in the woods near their back porch.

*~*~*

Days go by. There is little sign of a skunk, except for one late-night sighting under a visitor's car. Sharon unluckily comments that she is curious to know what it feels like to get sprayed, and immediately gets a good chewing out for "wanting to get sprayed". A conclusion that deeply pains her linguistic sensitivities, as that is not what she said at all.

*~*~*

It's Sunday again. The girls are coming home from church, walking along the chicken coop to their stoop and door at the back. As they round the corner, Sharon asks Stacey something, and starts getting annoyed when Stacey comes up with an out-of-the-blue, totally irrelevant response. Until it suddenly registers as very extremely relevant.

"A skunk and two babies just went under our porch!"

Keep those Sunday heels from clomping, quietly unlock the door and whisk it open - and tumble inside gasping and laughing from panic! That's what you should do when you have to walk right over skunks.

Well, since having skunks under the porch was looking extremely impractical for everyday exits and entrances, Sharon immediately hunted for a likely window - the one farthest from the door, of course, perfect - and whipped out the screen to create an instant escape route.

Between smart people who used the window, and hapless guests or disinclined individuals who didn't, no one managed to get sprayed.

*~*~*

The next morning... Sharon wakes up to the beautiful 5 a.m. dimness, fresh morning air breezing through her windows. She turns off the alarm, stands up to stretch, ... stands ... stands ... oh my goodness. She's not moving. Did she stop breathing? Or is she breathing harder? Something's terribly wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe it's that thick musky odor floating in through the window...

There are really no words to describe such a scent. Even if there were, who would really want to think of them? You would try not to breathe it, then find yourself inhaling deeply as you tried to verify that it really wasn't that bad and wouldn't make you keel over and die... Then there was the problem of where exactly it was coming from, and how to effectively block any further vapors - besides all the ones undoubtedly seeping through the walls. After scouting out the hall and the rest of the house, Sharon finally concluded that the skunk must have sprayed directly outside her bedroom windows. The only thing she could really do was close her windows to keep more out, close her door to keep it out of the rest of the house, and get busy with fans and Glade.

She was terribly scared that the Smell had stuck to her (and of all the friends and co-workers she might scare off), as she kept hitting unnerving pockets of it here and there. ... even in her car on the way to work. (To get to her car, she definitely exited by way of the window... wild spiders could not have chased her to the door.) But it seemed to vaporize away, except she had never tried so hard to not open her purse or to not even look at it, all day.

*~*~*

At lunchtime, after calls to the landlady and several discussions with the Sherriff's office, she happened upon a helpful guy from the nearest Critter Control, an hour away.

"Do you handle skunks?" (biting her lip for the "anything, but not skunks" reply)

"Well - I try not to... " (deep disappointment gushes up!)

"... I try to just trap them, not actually handle them." (insert much-needed laughter)

It was going to run $170 just for a visit, but Mr. C.C. asked if the smell was really bad. Well yes, it was really pretty awful. Well, he said, skunks don't like the smell themselves, so more than likely if the mom sprayed right near her own home, she would move the babies somewhere else.

Here was some encouraging news! Except Sharon still felt remarkably disinclined to go home. But there are things in life that must be faced, even skunky rooms.

*~*~*

She went home to a nearly de-scented house - inexplicably but miraculously. Stacey seemed to be alive and well. Sharon found she could even sit at her computer - in her room - and work. It was like waking up from a coma to a whole new, sunshiny world.

*~*~*

Moving on did take time. There were still whiffs of skunk around the porch, around the corner of the house. There were also far too many skunk jokes floating around. People wondering what skunk meat tasted like, or asking Sharon if that skunk photo was one of her friends, or subjecting her to interchanges like the following one online:

Sharon: (by 8:30 PM) I'm going to bed at 9:30!
Friend: (by 9:15) Aww, don't you want to go outside and chase some skunks?
Sharon: (at 9:38) There will be NO skunk jokes! Understood??
Friend: (at 9:41) Young lady, it's 9:41. Shouldn't you be in bed?

*~*~*

It's a weekday afternoon. Sharon is driving home from work. She passes some roadkill.

She sniffs, groans, gags, and turns away.

(Turns to the road, not off it, mother.)

The scent of a good tale...

Ha ha ha! Bet you didn't know I was into puns. Especially once you know that this tale will be about skunks.

Well, I'm not into puns, just threw that one up to laugh at.

So do you want to hear my skunk story? The w-h-o-l-e story? Nobody's heard the whole story yet. (Nope, it doesn't end with "Sharon gets sprayed!", stop getting so excited.)

What is a Linguistic Detective?

A Linguistic Detective is a fancy name I just made up for a Translator.

Because, you see, translation is not at all about how much of the mystery you know. It's about how good you are at finding clues and using them to solve the mystery.

That is... it's not about how much vocabulary you know. It's about figuring out ways to find the the vocabulary you need, and especially, it's about making sure the vocabulary is the right lingo for whatever topic you're translating - so that you solve the mystery correctly.

Well, enough of that, just wanted you to know I'm having heaps of fun!

I hate spring

I don't know if I can sleep tonight... In the past 24 hours, I have thrown (literally, with my bare hands) 4 spiders off the premises - at least, off the indoors premises.

There are all kinds of spiders in the world of languages ---

The French spider is quite elegantly long-legged:

araignée (ah-re-nyay)

The German spider is as close as you can get to a cute little round one:

Spinne (shpin-nuh)

And the Spanish spider just sounds like a mean attack spider:

araña (ah-rah-nyuh)

I do hope that none of those spontaneous impressions came across as linguistically discriminatory.

The long winding road to Translation

Well well well, this poor blog has been neglected long enough.

In the interest of pointing my blog back toward its name, I thought I would share with you how my career in translation has taken off clear into space.

Actually, in all seriousness, I would like to encourage anyone out there who picked up an extra language or two, and wants to use it, just not necessarily as a UN interpreter or a Spanish teacher. Knowing a foreign language is one of those soft fuzzy skills that, once people find out you have it, they say, "You speak -----? That's cool!" And then they seem to forget about it. But don't worry, they haven't forgotten. You just have to Wait.

For the longest time at DePuy, there was No Hint of anyone wanting anything concerning French, German, Spanish.

One day, I was having lunch with some friends at work. We happened to start discussing our educational backgrounds, and they found out my degree was in foreign languages.

Another seven or eight months... at least... are you asking me to actually remember spans of time between momentous events?

One of those lunch friends called me up to ask me to translate "or" into French, for a document. That was short and sweet.

Another five-ish months...

The friend called me up again to see if I would be interested in helping translate some material for a company website into French? Having it reviewed afterward by an overseas contact fluent in French, of course.

Another couple months...

Before we actually got that that project started, the friend asked if I would translate a one-page email announcement going out to several company sites around the world?

The overseas contact liked my work! Of course, the translation needed a little tweaking.

Now starting on the website material, I feel it's safe to say: Sometimes you just have to wait. And keep your eyes open for what God will suddenly drop smack in your road!

Long Blonde Life, from 3 May 2009

Don't try this at home: show your younger sister how to use the headlights on the new car in broad daylight - or you may forget, leave them on, and you know what'll happen when she tries to start the car the next day, which happens to be Sunday, when she needs to drive herself to church...

On the other hand, this is a great way to do a clean re-charge of the car battery.

Biggest announcement of all time!!!

My family hardly ever calls me. If they do, it is because:

1) They have big plans for me (to accomplish for them)
2) They have super-big news to share

So when Daddy called to see if I was free on Saturday, I knew I'd be doing something... yes! Pick up Jason's new car which just happened to be in Indiana!

When Ardith called me last night... first I didn't recognize the area code, because people from Cedar Rapids just never call me. When she told me who she was, I was ticked pink and immediately keyed up for something - whatever could be momentous enough to call me for...

Pretty much just the most radical news ever for the Hoyt Family! The first child is engaged!

Really

While I was checking my junk mail account on Yahoo, this news headline caught my eye:

"Swine flu not as potent as first feared"

That's English, but I think it should still be translated into behind-the-scenes Media:

"Shoot! We can't keep pushing breaking news about a mutating virus that will explode into a worldwide epidemic, after all."

Long Blonde Life, 20 April 2009

Since not all my hundreds of blog readers are on Facebook, and since no one seriously reads everything their "friends" post on Facebook anyway...

If you think a cheesecake takes a long time to bake, try baking it at 225 F. instead of 325 F.

But try not to try this an hour before you want to go to bed.

Pretending to be an IT Whiz

Hurray!! Stacey's Internet is working again. All it took was an IP re-set (configuration back to automatic) and a system re-start.

Now I can't really take credit for it, as the success results from the following:

A) What Daddy taught me and working backward from that
B) Stacey's computer needing a very long siesta

That said, IT work is fun. Seems to me like it is usually either tricking the computer into doing what you want, or force it to do what you want.

A good example of the latter is one of the times my work computer went to the blue screen for Dumping Physical Memory, refused to respond to any reasonable tactics, and was promptly unplugged. That worked. At least it worked for a week, I think.

Then I did have to get a "real" IT person in to run diagnostics and handle the scientifically medical end of fixing computers.

The Great Showdown

Betcha didn't know a TV show review could be preparation for Easter Sunday, did you?

Well, I didn't either, till five minutes ago when I finished an episode of Bonanza titled "Showdown". Sorry to spoil it for anyone, but to make the point I really have to run through the whole story:

A gang just robbed a bank in Virginia City, where the Cartwrights live. The gang leader sends one of his guys to the Cartwright ranch (the Ponderosa) to become a hired hand and pick up what news he can, while the rest of the gang lies low. So Sam heads off, gets hired, gets suspected by Little Joe but no one else, finds out the Army is coming in to look for the gang, and goes back to his boss to report this.

Little Joe happens to be following him and gets caught. The boss sends Sam back to the Ponderosa to find out from which direction the Army will be coming. Little does he know the sheriff is waiting at the Ponderosa for him. He has found out about Sam's prison record (true) and wants to take him in. Ben Cartwright says that's no valid charge and Sam will stay at the ranch with them, sheriff leaves. Sam, however, does not thank the Cartwrights, instead he clears out, clubbing Adam over the head when Adam starts talking to him.

Sam gets back to his boss, finds him beating Little Joe, manages to save little Joe by suggesting an alternate plan and then he and Joe gang up to beat the gang. Little Joe promises Sam he has friends now. Meanwhile, Ben, Adam, and Hoss are coming after Sam with a bunch of men, having decided they were wrong about Sam and looking for Little Joe. They see Little Joe coming in the distance, and Sam with him, and one of them says, "I guess we were all wrong about Sam". Show ends.

I don't know about you, but I can imagine two untold scenarios:

1) Sam goes on to work for the Ponderosa and no one ever finds out he was part of the gang
2) They find out he was part of the gang but he gets off because he helped bring in the gang

But regardless of what happens to Sam, what strikes me is how the Cartwrights deal with him. Most of them trust him, despite knowing nothing about him. Little Joe doesn't trust him, but once Sam starts fighting on the right side, he's his friend. But why does Sam start fighting on the right side? Because the Cartwrights are good people and do good to him, even when others are suspecting him. They DON'T know that he's with the gang, but they are good, so they believe in him.

Similarly and yet powerfully opposite, we can now be on the right side. Why? Because God is a good God and did good to us, even when we were His enemies. He KNEW we were His enemies, but He is so good that He wasn't just willing to "give us a chance" to prove ourselves to Him - He knew we couldn't do it, so He gave us the chance, at His own expense. His goodness and love are overwhelming.

Don't read this, look 2 posts down

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 3 is up, below... That's what you get when you start one post and publish another one later!

It's going to be a long, blonde life

Well, since none of my siblings are posting, I guess the torch is left to the one who probably shouldn't even be allowed to have a blog, let alone write for it...

Today is Saturday, which means yesterday was Friday. Kendra and I spent Friday evening exploring the trails which lie between her dorm and my chicken coop. Then I had a brilliant idea. I had coupons for Dairy Queen that would expire March 31, and Dairy Queen was nearby. Why not use them before they expired?

After some debate, we finally settled on using the one that would get us a wrap and a blizzard. Let's clarify how the coupon worked. If we bought a blizzard, we got a free wrap.

So we got up to the checkout, placed our orders, and the girl asks, "What size blizzard?" Kendra is about to opt for a small. I think, Wait - why not get the most possible? "Kendra, do you want a large? Can we get a large with the coupon, ma'am?" The girl looks at the coupon and informs us that it doesn't specify a size, so yes, we could get whatever we wanted. So I voted for a large. Kendra was rather overwhelmed at my generosity - if you can picture Kendra being overwhelmed.

We got out to the car and she asked me why I had paid for a large blizzard? I said I was just trying to get the most possible off the coupon. Then I thought about it.

What can I say. Nope, nothing. Let's just say goodnight there. and hope someone's learned her lesson from that one.

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 3

Here is Installment 3. Yes, she knows. Sharon... is... slow. Go ahead and say it (or type it) to her face, she won't be too awfully immensely hurt.

================================================================

It was still the same day. The team had just landed in Guatemala. Three buses were waiting for them... one for luggage (mostly), two for people (mostly). Off for the mission house. Along the way they took in the Guatemala sights of hot-pastel colored buildings and infamous desperado chicken buses - which will pop into this story again at future unnerving intervals.

The mission house lay at the end of many one-way, steeply inclined, narrow streets in San Lucas. When they arrived, it felt like 7 p.m. and their bags were promptly dumped and they were ushered into a big room with the places already set and served what they supposed was supper... Afterward, during announcements, they were given their freedom for several hours till supper (Oh my goodness - do we have to eat again, so soon?) and strict orders about the type of relationship allowed with the tap water. Basically, it was a total mouth-off relationship, aguatically speaking: no drinking, no inhaling, no brushing your teeth with it, unless you wanted to go on medication the rest of the trip.

After this, many people went off to brush their teeth, including our heroine, who promptly had people screaming in her face "NO! NO! Don't use the water!!" as she rinsed out her mouth... time to trot off for some Cipro.

At this point, most of the team was ready to just settle down and relax after the long day of traveling. One person was, however, very antsy after being cooped up on planes all day - despite enjoying them immensely - and somehow she persuaded some other young folks to go on a walk. It started out as a group of 3 girls, who were informed they had to take along big, tough guys. So they collected people and walked down from the mission house into San Lucas. Their friend Sam excited their appetites by pointing out a dead smashed cat by the roadside as their future supper. Down in the middle of the town, they found a little round structure with a deck for the second floor. There were lots of kids playing around this and on the soccer court, and some of the team members instantly made dozens of friends by pulling out digital cameras and taking pictures with the kids left and right.

They got back about dark, to find people huddled in coats and blankets complaining about the 40-degree cold, and a sumptious supper awaiting them. Right after supper the 4 teams were listed off - 2 medical, 2 VBS, one of each on each bus, to go to separate locations each day. But for Saturday morning they would all be together in San Lucas.

And after all of this excitement, and that excitement, after translators and friends of the team showed up to visit, at some point they all fell into bed and slept hard.

The End of Day 1!

Commentary

This is not to be funny, or to poke fun, or to be cute, or to be blonde just for kicks. Honestly. This is what might go through someone's mind if they knew quite a bit about current and historical events, but not excessively much... and happened upon this article below, that has such an interesting sequence of reporting.

News article from the Guardian that was on Drudge Report yesterday. Non-copyrighted commentary is in italics between asterisks.

================================================================

To see this story with its related links on the guardian.co.uk site, go to http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/13/north-korea-japan-nuclear-missile

Japan warns it may shoot down North Korean satellite launcher
Justin McCurry in Tokyo
Friday March 13 2009
guardian.co.uk

Japan today threatened to shoot down a satellite that North Korea plans to launch early next month if it shows any signs of striking its territory.

*Oh my goodness. North Korea's launching a missile and Japan's jumping to shoot it down?*

Tokyo's warning that it would deploy its multibillion-dollar missile defence system raised tensions in the region after North Korea said that it had identified a potential "danger area" near Japanese territory along the rocket's flight path.

*Grand, grand, grand... so North Koreas is saying, "We're launching this missile and it might hit you guys in Japan, just giving you a heads up."*

The regime told the International Maritime Organisation that the missile would be launched during daylight between 4 and 8 April, and that its boosters would fall into the Sea of Japan ? about 75 miles (120km) from Japan's north-west coast ? and the Pacific Ocean.

*Well, that was smart of them to plan a missile launch that could drop things near Japan.*

Officials in Tokyo said they reserved the right to destroy any threatening object in mid-flight, despite North Korean warnings that it would consider such a move an act of war.

*Here we go... Japan: "You launch something and we are shooting it down. This is definitely a threat." North Korea: "You shoot at our missile, that means WAR!"*

"Under our law, we can intercept any object if it is falling towards Japan, including any attacks on Japan, for our security," Takeo Kawamura, the chief cabinet secretary, told reporters.

*Oh... Japan is being pretty rational, not to mention expressing itself pretty clearly... Japan: "If you launch something that heads our way, we're intercepting. And yes, we're still intercepting even if you're just doing an all-out attack."*

Despite repeated assurances from Pyongyang that the rocket is a vital part of North Korea's space programme, other countries in the region suspect the hardware is a Taepodong-2 ballistic missile.

*Neighbors: "Space, my foot. It's a ballistic."*

South Korean intelligence has reported a build-up of activity in recent days near the missile's launch pad at Musudan-ri base on its neighbour's north-east coast.

*(imagines South Korean intelligence center with those hospital heart monitor screens on all of North Korea's bases. All show undulating relaxed patterns below the line "Normal" - , except the one for the Musudan-ri base where there are violent peaks above the line "Build-up" - )*

Any missile launch, even one intended to put a satellite into orbit, would represent a snub to the US administration, which has repeatedly invited the communist state to return to negotiations over its nuclear weapons programme.

*Oh wait, this is a SATELLITE and not a missile? Why does this remind me of two kids poking each other?*

Last month the US secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, urged the north to cancel the launch, which US officials say would be in violation of a 2006 UN security council resolution.

*I didn't know that... so the UN said "No launches, period", including satellites.*

The South Korean foreign ministry said in a statement: "If North Korea goes ahead with the launch, we believe there will be discussions and a response by the security council on the violation of the resolution."

*South Korea: "If North Korea launches something that could hit something, the U.N. Security Council will probably hold a meeting."*

The UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, said a missile or satellite launch would "threaten the peace and stability in the region."

*I would say that the pre-launch talk and assumptions have already generously threatened the peace and stability in the region.*

After Japan's transport ministry ordered airlines and shipping companies operating in the area to take precautionary measures, Japan Airlines and All Nippon Airways said they would alter flight paths on several European and other routes.

* All Nippon Airways = All Japan Airways... US Airways... hee hee!*

Speculation has been mounting for weeks that North Korea was about to put its hitherto unreliable missile technology to the test. The regime suffered a setback in 2006 when a Taepodong-2 missile ? theoretically capable of reaching Alaska ? blew up moments into its flight.

*Wow, so the technical danger is at least as great as the political danger, and probably the same thing for a lot of people.*

Japan has intensified efforts to protect itself against conventional missile attacks since 1998, when the north test-launched a long-range rocket over its territory without warning.

*So there is a history. This chapter looks like an improvement. North Korea is actually warning you, Japan.*

In response, Japan and the US have jointly developed a ballistic missile defence system that includes interceptor missiles on board ships and Patriot missiles dotted around Tokyo.

*That's probably why North Korea is warning Japan. I had no idea the U.S. was in this too...*

But experts believe that a rocket capable of launching a satellite into orbit may be too high to intercept.

*Science: "Guys, seriously. This may well go out of sight, out of mind."


Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited 2009

=================================================================

Closing commentary: From the commentator's viewpoint, in this imperfect world, interactions between nations look a lot like interactions between individuals, only to the nth power, where n = average number of influential individuals involved on each particular nation's "side".

Spring, spring, spring-ing ahead

No, this is not an exciting post that you will want to read.

Just wanted to assure everyone that Sharon is still alive over here. And plans to continue the Guatemala story shortly.

And the coughing has subsided almost entirely.

Twice now I have felt a very strong urge to remind everyone to set their clocks back an hour. How about you not listen to me for Daylight Savings time reminders.

It's raining outside. It's a beautiful drippy evening. And so I think this is the perfect time to share a favorite excerpt from a favorite book - Nightwatch, by Terry Pratchett.

===================================================

The main character is standing in the police department and hears a song, by a group of trolls passing by outside.

Somehow, you could tell it was made up by a troll:

"Now we sing dis stupid song!
Sing it as we run along!
Why we sing it we don't know!
We can't make der words rhyme prop'ly!"
"Sound off!"
"One! Two!"
"Sound off!"
"Many! Lots!"
"Sound off!"
"Er... what?"

=======================================================

So I hope it's understood that I'm posting this Saturday night, to be read on Monday, not Sunday. Just so no one gets on me for irreverency.

Ardith should get a prize, as it happened to be her copy of the book I was reading in bed, and dropped, because of uncontrollable laughter.

Seeking counsel from coughing experts

I'm glad to be coughing... you know, bronchitis or whatever is much better than an actual miserable cold.

But is there some correct way to cough that doesn't:

A) make you gag
B) give you a severe headache in the top back peak of your head

Better yet, can you pull the whole "mind-over-matter" trick and just not cough? I'm sure my head, abdomen, and colleagues would be eternally grateful to you (although the lungs might not be...)

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 2

Well, there they were... 12 of the 14 Warsaw team members, on the plane for Miami.

Sharon was so happy to be waiting for takeoff, after a 2-year break from flying. And she had the privilege of sitting next to Brittnee for her first flight! See the photo below. And you thought Sharon didn't take any pictures on the trip. Hah!

After some vigorous gum chewing, the plane settled down into peaceful quiet, with the Warsaw percentage dozing off... quiet, except for the loud snoring of a certain doctor, which was on purpose to keep poor Amanda "Demanda" awake.

(Sorry, no one is getting mercy in this story. Please note that names within quotes are the Spanish pet names picked up at some point during the trip.)

They were landing in Miami. What perfect squares the city was laid out in, and yes, decorated with really-truly palm trees! And off through security again, whipping off coat, sweater, shoes, scarf, yanking them back on... and on, following the direction that the sea-shells gilded onto the floor pointed, on to find the next gate. Till they were helpfully accosted and accompanied by Danny from Delaware. Oh, the hugs that ensued on meeting up with the Delawarians... at least, for the old-timers. And oh, the happy waiting for the next flight, the time whiled away with sushi, orange juice, and Danny's infamous jelly beans.

You would not believe how quick it is to get from Miami to Guatemala City. One minute you are filling out the customs papers handed out first thing by the stewardess, and the next you see the beautiful mountains of Guatemala circling up to meet you.

This is not yet the end of the Longest Day Ever, which began at 1 AM. But it is after 9 PM and high time for someone to go to bed and get more of that wonderful sleep that you can see she got on the plane.

To be continued...

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 1

1:15 AM - - the alarm clock goes off. Time to get uncurled from that chair, grab those bags, and get out in that car. Time to go to Guatemala!

It's an eerie 10-minute drive to meet the rest of the Warsaw Team at Dr. Gary's clinic. Sharon is plenty early... unfortunately but ironically, once the van and trailer arrive to load up, she discovers that she has not forgotten her passport... no, she left it back at the house on purpose because she was convinced someone else had it.

"If I don't get back in time, just go without me," she says and trots off to her car. Back to the house at a very efficient speed, trying to imagine how she'll ever live this down if the team has to leave her behind...

But don't bother feeling for her now, because it is about to get much, much worse. Passport securely in purse and almost back to the clinic, Sharon slows way down for the intersection with the blinking red light, doesn't quite stop before she turns right past that police car pulling up. <Bam> it whips around with its lights.

Okay friends, it is now high time to be sick at heart, especially while we wait for the officer to finish chatting with a passerby. But God in His goodness lets the officer skip over that old registration Sharon yanks out of the glove department. 10 minutes later, she is free.

What suspense to approach the clinic parking lot... yes! The van is sitting there, waiting!

2.5 hours later, the team safely arrives at O'Hare, despite everyone breathing and fogging up the windows. They get almost all their passports scanned in when an airport deadline suddenly slams down. Off runs most of the team, shoving baggage and medicine totes as they go - off to run through security and run to the gate and get soundly berated by the ticket lady for not being early. Somewhere behind them are Tim and Aaron, trying to catch another flight.

To be continued...

Anakin, we love you... despite yourself

I had a first thought for this post, but on second thought... how about saving that first thought for tomorrow.

Let's go to a third one, which is really a lot older and should get priority anyway.

[Commercial - reminded to post this by reading the fabulous story my brother Jason is telling us over on his blog. So far it appears to be a space drama that he's making up each night as he types, albeit with considerable unexpected twists, such as sudden group deaths.]

The other night I was watching cable TV. You know, since we have it. Actually, this time I had decided to skip my cable TV and go over to a friend's house so I could multitask - watch cable TV and walk on the treadmill.

I was flipping through the dizzying array of channel choices, when there it was. The Phantom Menace! I think. Let me see, what are the titles of the other two last-but-first-but-definitely-last ones... oh never mind. Anyway, I was mildly ecstatic for about 10 seconds, till the intro had rolled off into space and suddenly there was a distinctively animated creature. Yes, down in the bottom right-hand corner was some Toon Network logo.

Out of sheer curiosity, I stuck around for a couple minutes and ended up watching enough to get these fine lines. Don't they just bring back all the glory of Star Wars?

We've been betrayed.

I don't want to kill you...

Anakin, you must learn to control your insults.


By the way, you shouldn't pay too much attention to my blog post titles because frankly, some of them are just to get attention.

Pictures, maybe

Testing 1-2-3...

Ice Storm!

[Update] Make that "Pictures, definitely"

(December 2008)

We working women

My word, housework takes a long time. Is that why I do it only twice a week, or is that because I only do it twice a week? Or is it a vicious cycle that's going to accelerate exponentially till it collapses in on me? And on whom can we blame all this?

If you're bored on a Sunday

Being tired is so tiring.

Well, it is completely my fault for volunteering at 3 p.m. on Sunday to meet halfway to pick up Kendra. Any way you look at it, halfway is still 8 hours for each party. Add in lots of black ice on one side and super good roads on the other, and you have each party traveling at least 10 hours.

(Mommy, I hereby accept full responsibility. You can even kick me out of the will if you want.)

So from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m., it was quite a Sunday afternoon drive. And a great adventure! And definitely worth it to have Kendra safely here and ready to start classes tomorrow. And to see Daddy and Ethan for about 2 minutes. And almost worth it... yes, I think almost worth it to feel this ready for bed!!

Can I do this?

"Yes?"

"The bill was $2200 and I paid $4000. How can that not be paying it in full?"

"Well, when is the new company going to take over? Because you guys are doing an awful job. Is there someone I can call and complain to?"

"And your name?"

"Okay, you all could stand to work on your customer service as well, because your attitude really stinks. Bye."

*~*~*~*~*

I'm just wondering. Can I say this and be Christ-like? (In a nicer tone, of course.)

Where exactly does "turn the other cheek" come in? My first instinct is to say, "That's for when I am being persecuted for my faith." But the context in Matthew 5:38-42 seems to be anyone taking advantage of you or being mean to you.

Put it back in the business world. As my friend points out, if you never "complained" to the manager, the disagreeable person could go on being disagreeable and making things worse for the company. Now I think if there is any room to "complain", it should be for the employee's sake just as much the company, or the manager, or the general public, or myself, or anyone.

Looking forward to having everyone respond and answer this for me. So nice of you.

Wheee, here we go!

Quick, let's see how much more I can say before anyone realizes there are new posts on this blog...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My car suddenly showed up with low oil, so I checked it today before leaving work. The parking lot at work is a nice flat place. The lady pulling out just in front of me stops, rolls out her window and asks, "Are you all right?"

I was kind of expecting that, as should all little blond girls who stand before their popped hoods. So I responded politely, "Of course. I'm just checking my oil, like all the other smart people who check their oil after work. That way the car is level and the engine has cooled down for a while." Or, I guess I may have stopped after the "checking my oil" part.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everyone is talking about all the snow we are going to get. Some say 6 inches. Some say 3. I almost want to chime in with my colleague from Minnesota, "Snow? What snow?" I hope we do get a good dump sometime soon. We were kind of spoiled last year, getting snowed in twice before Christmas.

"Which brings up the question," says someone else, as we are discussing all the snow that's coming, "why do humans live so far north?" Because some of us are tough and you aren't, I guess.

I don't necessarily live for the cold either, but goodness gracious sakes, let's at least enjoy it - brag about how hardy we Northerners are, or take it on as an exciting adventure. Hunkering down is all very well, but I find that just makes you feel colder.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once upon a time there was a girl who got a car, got herself auto insurance, and set up automatic monthly payments. No thinking required.

This begins around April. Come December, she suddenly recalls that she agreed to a 6-month plan and it has probably expired by now, no matter how you count months. She gasps as she finds her insurance card with an expiry date in October, then hunts and hunts through her mail for an expiration notice that never shows up. Poor girl, she is starting to feel anxious, and - worse yet - stupid. (Save your tears because there is a whole lot more stupidity coming.) Now she is pretty sure she cannot legally drive, at the worst possible time of the year, when she loves offering rides to one and all over the snow and ice in her car with the fantastic snow tires. Oh, it hurts. And even stingier on this Saturday morning is the thought of leaving for home on Tuesday!

Now, she could have just check her bank account online to see if they had debited her payment again that month, but no, if she had thought of it, it probably would have proved nothing.

Well, she manages to bum rides off others till Monday morning, when she risks driving herself to work. The memories of lights and sirens during her two recent escapades with the police keep floating through her mind. (I don't care about the punctuation or clauses, just read the story.)

First thing on lunch break, she runs out to make a call on her cell phone. Yep, it's to the insurance agent. As he looks up her account, she tries to imagine how many days they could drag out a policy renewal, and what she will do about getting home..."

"Oh, you're fine. The policy just gets automatically renewed if you don't tell us otherwise."

Oh! She's fine! And she could just - do something really awful, maybe even to someone, for having gone through all that stress for nothing ... except that once she sees the joke on her, it's really too funny to not laugh all the way back in.

But that story is no excuse for "dumb blonde" jokes. It's not "dumbness", folks. It's a relatively rare, violent attack of stupidity.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This post would not have been possible, were it not for siblings like Ardith and Jason, and quite possibly some parental genes as well.

After Christmas

2,800 miles later... back in Warsaw!

(And really, 5 days ago)

We are (read: I have talked Stacey into) leaving our Christmas decorations up as long into January as possible. The Christmas tree can stay up as long as at least 70% of it is not on the ground. I know it's already after the technical date of Epiphany, but if our holidays are symbolic anyway... if we celebrate Christ's birth on December 25th, it's really more effective to wait at least a month for the Magi to arrive. Besides, Stacey just got a beautiful nativity scene plus the Magi, as a Christmas present. I think it would be a complete lack of courtesy to immediately pack it away till next Christmas.

And time is flying by this year, as someone at work pointed out to me - only 50 weeks to go.

... And then it [Christmas] goes and leaves us here
What will we do the rest of the year?
We will live the whole year through
Only looking forward to
Christmas-tide and Christmas cheer
Yes Christmas comes but once a year.

(No, I didn't make that up, it's a song.)

I'll be home for Christmas, and not just in my dreams!

When I sing that song I have to sing it that alternative way, because it would be untrue and, frankly, way too depressing to sing the other way! What is Christmas without home?

I know I should be in bed now, 'cause I'm driving home tomorrow. Don't worry. I'll be falling asleep by 10:30 and probably won't get up before 4:30. And go to work, and then leave in the afternoon. I hear it's going to snow tomorrow. Oh boy! I just can't wait to drive home in the snow (don't worry, the ice is Wednesday) and sing Christmas songs all the way. Do you know, I think I sang at least half the way home last Christmas. I had thought it would be such a lo-ong trip, by myself, after having Kendra with me for the Thanksgiving trip... but it went amazingly fast.

Just pray I don't hit a deer. I don't care how terrible the roads are or how terribly people are driving, but deer have me a little paranoid right now.

This is going to be an interesting Christmas because, after the real Christmas in Iowa, it will be time for the post-Christmas holidays down in Texas with lots of cousins!

I hope everyone can get home for Christmas, and has safe travels. If for some reason you can't, I do hope you can talk to them a while, and then have some quiet, peaceful Christmas-time.

Merry Christmas #1

Oh, that's right. I have to finish decorating my tree sometime.














Look, guys!! I discovered the most wonderful new kind of tree stand!

Something Big and Hairy

I was peacefully driving home on Friday night, around 11:30 P.M. Suddenly, the Abominable Snow Monster leaped out of the ditch and smacked into my car!!

Or it might just have been a deer. I'm not sure. It all happened so fast. And now it's really traumatizing me to have beast hair sticking out of my tire.

The Heat Report

Oh, by the way, for those of you who read Mommy's blog and check over here to see if the daughter is still alive, after she lost heat at the apartment... fear not! Our heat is back.

In fact, apparently the electric heaters in our room still worked, but it would have been difficult to heat the entire tiny apartment with them. There is just no substitute for hearing the gas heater start popping, and running out to stand with your back to it, getting blasted by hot air. Which I am going to go do right now. mmmm...............

Look at the pumpkin! - Part II

Look! It's a happy Christian pumpkin.


It's staying happy through the adverse circumstances of life.

Dream come true

You are never going to believe this, but it's true.

I was called on at work to translate!

The phone rings... it is one of my friends in the department that handles documents and procedures. She had found out some time back that I know French. And on this particular day, she suddenly needed my help with the herculean task of translating

or

A few moments' mental rummaging pulled up the world she needed. To my delight, I realized we would not even need to translate the entire 2-letter word to get it into French. Just change the last letter to "u" (and not even a "u" with an accent, at that).

ou

So I translated a whole letter from English to French. My dream finally came true. I was needed to translate at work!

Look! It's a Happy Pumpkin.

Which would you choose?

It's Saturday night. You are at a fall party, at a friend's house, with friends. You all pitched in for a potluck dinner, ate lots, and then played games that made you laugh till you cry and your stomach seriously hurts. It's now about 11 p.m. and a couple of the others, who need to spend the night anyway, want to put on a movie. You're invited to stay for the movie and even spend the night, and your housemate opts to stay for the movie.

Now if you drove separately, what would you do?

1) Stay for the movie

or

2) Go home and go to bed

[Update #1 - 11/9/08]

By popular demand, the abovementioned movie is Cinderella.

However, dear popular demanders, by asking that question, you're really avoiding the main one - "Would you ever choose a movie over sleep on a Saturday night?" No right or wrong here. I just find it fascinating to know what others would do.

[Update #2 - 11/10/08]

As requested - which Cinderella? Disney's Cinderella. You know, the one with the singing mice, blue ball gown, and "Bippity-boppity-boo".

Personally, as far as ranking Cinderella's goes:

3) Disney's
2) The color play
1) The black-and-white musical, with the Sound of Music lady and Mr. What's-his-face

I think it was Monday

I think this happened Monday, but I really can't remember. It's hard to figure out because the weather outside just does not equal the sterilizingly cold temperature they keep the Research offices. That might possibly make sense to you after you read this. But I think it was Monday.

It was the end of lunch break. End of happily reading in my little spot at work. Time to start the long mental return to work and the business world. Then comes this feeling that there is something nearby, on my left. (Do you ever get those sensations?) Start half-turning to see what it is. Oh no, an animal in the office! How is this happening to me when it should never happen at all?

Then the half-turn is just enough to see that there really is something black right next to the arm of my chair, actually it is right on the arm of my chair! Oh my word!

Insert <violent start> or comment of invisible spectator - "You jumped a foot."

You will never, ever guess what it was.

It was my coat.

It's just amazing how much excitement and laughter we jumpy people can get out life!

Oh yes - the reason I coudn't figure out which day it was: it has been so warm outside all week that I shouldn't have had my coat with me any of those days. But inside an orthopaedics business building, you can never have too many layers.

Sunday

I bet you all thought I forgot about this blog. Or was too busy to post. Or just didn't have anything to say.

Wrong, wrong, and wrong. I have been thinking of it every day, I have time running out my ears, and the posting possibilities are just so many and varied that, frankly, it's taking all of that thought, time, and deciding power to select one.

Today is Sunday, so I have two notes from church:

1) Along with the bulletin, the church provided a handout - the Kosciusko County Right to Life 2008 General Election Voter Guide. It had a very detailed breakdown of what positions are held on life vs. abortion by the various candidates for state and local offices. I do appreciate this. I kind of wish there was a similar guide for other issues, but I realize that foreign policy is a tad less urgent at the local level, plus this is doubtless the issue which the (our) church feels most strongly about and, perhaps, feels it can provide literature on.

2) Pastor's sermon today was from John 6, specifically John 6:15-21 - when Jesus walked on the water. It was an excellent sermon, but I just about lost it during one part, where Pastor was speaking as if he was one of the disciples telling us the story:

"What do you do when a ghost is coming to your boat?"

Sky

Don't you wish the earth were just a little smaller?

If it were smaller, then the horizon would slope away more sharply. If that angle were sharper, it might be possible to tilt one's head back, look straight up and see nothing but sky.

But I am still catching things in peripheral vision, and I'm not talking skyscrapers. So for optimal sky-viewing experience, the earth is not quite the ideal size. Not that I would ever complain about it! Just mentioning the fact.

Ovens and Laptops

What do they have in common?

Minds of their own.

Actually, I personally believe all machines do, but these two are plenty of examples for tonight.

After finally getting home and taking a walk, it was time to try keeping the oven hot enough to bake the squash. See, 350 is just not hot enough to keep the oven interested, and higher temperatures only hold its attention about 10 minutes or so before it starts wandering back down. In fact, it's so bored that it doesn't bother changing the temperature reading on top.... just leaves that for un-smart people to figure out, you know, the people who don't open their oven to check the temperature every 5 minutes.

So, you ask: you can tell exactly what temperature the oven is by how it feels? Nope. I just observed that turning the heat up to 400 - to see if we could move the squash along for the 2nd hour in the oven - seemed to make the oven realize, "oh, it wasn't actually at 375... it was really down to 360 but, if that's what she really wanted, it could start climbing again..."

In between these jogs to the kitchen, I continued messing around with Stacey's laptop to see what had been killing it lately. Continued trying out some of Daddy's suggested tests to see if one of the memory cards was bad. First I had taken out the right-side card and the laptop didn't really die... then I had replaced the right and taken out the left, which successfully killed it twice, albeit over about 3 days (which is a long time to remember what you're testing, how, and even why).

The obvious conclusion from the above exercise: The right-side memory card must have problems, so let's put that one in my computer and see if I can kill it!

Unfortunately, here we are, an hour later and still kicking. In fact, directly after this switch, for the first time in about 6 months I suddenly had a "Good" Internet signal instead of "Low" (which is plenty adequate), but that's not funny and also beside the points. The points are that:

1) If you have 1 of 2 memory cards in your laptop, it will run at a decent rate but apparently just slow enough to not grab the Internet.
2) If you have 2 of 2 memory cards in your laptop, and one of them is not locked all the way in, your laptop will run like it has chronic fatigue syndrome but will pick up the Internet... if you can keep from screaming during the 5-minute wait for a clicked button to indent.
3) If you try switching the cards between right and left sides, they may just lock in, get the computer booted without freezing or dumping the physical memory, get the Internet running and even defy your friend's efforts to tire out the memory by looking up heaps of online photos.

Well, that's enough fun for tonight.

Independent Life

Actually, I have not just been sitting here admiring my wheels all this time. Actually, I can't admire them at all because the little Civi is off getting a beauty rest.

It is kind of fun to not have a car. I have to find someone to take me to work. I have to find someone to take me back home. (Cannot be the same person.) I have to be ready in plenty of time for 6:40 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. I have to not go places on lunch break. (Making great progress in reading La Chute.) I have to not run errands after work or go places in the evening, unless with Stacey. I have to amuse myself in the evening. (Well, at least I will have to once I get ahead of all the housework, personal business, and everything else in life.) I have to plan ahead and make more friends who will give me rides.

Yes, this is really a great way to live. Everyone should take a vacation from their car once in a while.

Sure, it's fun to go along through life, playing "Let's pretend we are independent and self-sufficient". But come on. Can any of us really believe we are either?

Snazzy Civic

Look!!


Daddy found me these gorgeous new wheels.

Bright blue Monday

Monday was the best day at work ever!

My email <dinged> and I answered it. My phone rang and I picked it up and helped someone. During the phone call two more emails arrived in my Inbox, and I took care of one of them while still on the phone. I hung up the phone and <bling> it rang the very second it touched!

Can life be any more complete?

No title tonight

Oh... was I supposed to write some more about the Vermont trip? As in Days 2 and 3? Let me make a mental note of that (Check - bing).

Actually I wanted to finish something mentioned earlier. Some friends and I read through The Hunchback of Notre Dame (or Notre Dame de Paris, as it should really be called). Being such a seasoned book critic, what should I say? It was certainly intense, laugh-provoking, and interesting - even the huge chapter detailing Paris architecture of the 1400's. Which chapter, by the way, has one of the finest passages of the book. You really should read the whole section on the Exchange building, but here is the end:

Moreover, a building should be appropriate to the climate. This [the Exchange] is evidently built for our cold and rainy sky. It has a roof almost as flat as if it were in the Orient, so that in winter, when it snows, the roof can be swept; and it is evident that roofs were made to be swept.

What exquisite sarcasm! What kind of a mind comes up with that?

Well... but after finishing the book, I really think I dislike it tremendously, especially the ending. Why do we have to write and read sad stories filled with suffering and people's wickedness? So earthly life is like that - but it's not all like that, and even if the bad were 1%, does that still justify whole novels full of it? Why can't we have entirely happy stories, ever? Why is conflict inherent to a "good" plot?

Leaving that book behind... I am barely through the first chapter of La Chute, by Camus, and there is already a pageful of splendid things to share! So that will be coming.

Now I know it is only September 6, but it is really Autumn now. No achy joints exactly, but the change in the weather is making my throat overpoweringly sore, as it did sometime back when our late spring finally arrived. So start enjoying Autumn now!

Please try again

Is that why it feels so hot? and taking three steps outside works up a sweat?

Because it's 91 degrees?

Oh come on. I really do not find that an acceptable explanation. Especially with the humidity at only 28%.

Pre-Labor Day headlines

Can you tell I've been around Mommy today? Here it is almost midnight, and I can't sleep, so I'm posting. But this is the "I-just-got-back-from-a-party-and-lots-of-talking-with-friends-
so-I-know-I-can't-sleep-till-I-unwind-a-little" type of "can't sleep". (It will be interesting to see if Blogger posts that as a whole non-wrapped string, as it's looking here in the Compose box.)

By the way, there is no better company than people who grew up overseas or were MKs or - even better - both. They know all the weird and scary and gross stories. I'm just saying you'll never be bored.

Mommy should be home about now, if it's 12:00 AM here, 11:00 PM out in Iowa, and the traffic was tolerable.

In other news, there are about 3 portions of green tomato crisp left, which I'm thinking of putting at a "Buy Now" rate of around $60 each, until such time as the bidding soars beyond, or until people let me know they just can't afford that, or until Stacey and I decide to eat them.

Passing the torch

I am so proud of my brother! Jason (apparently) just drove himself all the way from Iowa to Texas, a good 14-hour drive. Now it's his turn to bop around in the little '89 blue Toyota. He DID get to the "independent-with-a-car-at-college" stage one year earlier than me, but I guess we can't hold that against him.

(This may mean nothing to you - but this post is brought to you indoors, courtesy of succesful signal-catching angling! Just in time, as this is the first cool evening post-vernal equinox.)

August is Pie Time!

Hi everyone. Not sure who would read this after such sporadic entries, but anyway....

I am trying to reform. Stopped one activity last month and another one gets dumped this month. Now if friends will just stop showing up and visiting, maybe life will calm down.

Despite all the busy-ness, just look how productive I've been! Guess what I made??

This


Green Tomato Pie!

It was so much fun to make, despite how rather pathetic the crust turned out.

I gave some to friends. Everyone thought it was weird but no one disliked it. Some of them might even have eaten more than the sliver I gave them.

I took some to work and won some small triumphs:

-3 people asked for the recipe
-1 fruit-pie-disliker ate a second bite
-1 tomato-hater said it was pretty good

Everyone tried to guess what it was. Some thought it was green apple, some thought it was pepper, or rhubarb.

All in all it has made for a lot of fun, now to find away to use all my green tomato pie juice. Probably would be yummiest just to drink it, don't you think?


Oh by the way, did you notice? That is the first ever on-blog photo, first try. So give me a break if the formatting ends up terribly, I have no idea how it will actually look.

Vermont Trip - Intermission

Oh my goodness! Have you ever eaten mustard greens?

I am just eating them for the first time now and you will never guess what they taste like.

They taste like spicy mustard!

(1/3 the heat of full-strength Dijon to be exact)

Vermont trip, Day 1

I had already arranged to take Friday off and leave early on Thursday - hopefully 3 p.m. Too bad I was feeling ready for bed before 2 p.m. Not an auspicious start for what would be a weekend full of driving and visiting. The hopefully 3 p.m. turned into 3:15 p.m. once I got into my car with CDs and Mapquest at hand and realized my water bottle was absolutely empty.

Driving through Ohio is supposed to be painfully, dreadfully boring. Once getting through the excitement of Fort Wayne interstate changes, I was delighted to discover that at least the speed limit suddenly improved to 70 mph. The first thing I saw in Ohio after the Welcome sign was an even bigger one proclaiming FIREWORKS! for sale. Ohio was only moderately boring, I guess, since I only missed one highway merge. It is pretty farmland, but definitely feels different - not like Iowa at all, and not really like Indiana... kind of Ohio-y-ish.

Some good friends of the extended family, whom I did not really know but called that week (!) were very hospitable, put me up for the night, shared a delicious dinner with real homemade apple pie, and drove me past the old Hoyt home and the high school where Daddy went and the church. And their three boys introduced me to Charlie, who is not just a guinea-pig but a Charlie-pig. He eats parsley like some of us eat chocolate and apparently does a really entertaining job of downing a banana... unfortunately the parents vetoed that show for the night, but we did watch him get started on a big fat carrot.

Vermont

Don't you like taking weekend road trips during the summer? I do. Vermont sounds just perfect for this weekend. Especially since my very good friend from Germany is there for the summer.

Just wanted to share that exciting news with y'all. :)


Okay, I had better go back and finish the dishes.

The End of the World and related matters

Look! We have Internet for a few minutes! It may be due to the open window, through which mosquitoes (baby ones too, I just found one on my hand) and other fascinating bugs are coming to investigate my screen light and the lamp.

(Shoot, my mosquito-slapping reflexes need to be honed.)

Everyone should read The Hunchback of Notre Dame, even in English. I know it sounds like a dry old classic, but it is truly more of a comedy, so far. Just listen to this:

Meanwhile, the licensed copyist to the University, Master Andry Musnier, leaned towards the ear of the furrier of the king's robes, Master Gilles Lecornu.
"I tell you, sir, this is the end of the world. The students never were so riotious before; it's the cursed inventions of the age that are ruining us all, -artillery, bombards, serpentines, and particularly printing, that other German pestilence. No more manuscripts, no more books! Printing is death to book-selling. The end of the world is at hand."
"So I see by the rage for velvet stuffs," said the furrier.

Yes, and when they come out with an automatic translating device that deals with idioms, it will be my turn to say "The end of the world is at hand!" And when they figure out a way to just tell computers and technology what to do, it will be the turn of my software engineering siblings. And when they develop a hybrid grass that grows to two inches and never past, it will be my darling mother's turn to say it.

Or it's like that weather forecast where the annoying sarcastic little dog gasps, "Oh NO!!! On Tuesday and Wednesday it is going to be cloudy in Hawaii! Hawaii, it is the Apocalypse for you!!"

By the way, while we are discussing the end of the world and other seemingly remote things, I would like to publish my last will and testament for if they ever get to Time Travel. Please, please, send me anytime but the Eastern Hemisphere before 1491. No matter how early or remote, life will always be civilized if there is chocolate. (And I really think life would be more civilized if we kept it to the days before they started adding sugar to it.)

The Importance of Being a Good Speller

(Is "speller" a word?)

Today I took one of those three-minute typing tests, in which the text tried to inform me how important it is to spell well. I tapped away while it told me in an awfully wordy, annoying way that, if you ask the best spellers -- really? who are the best spellers? -- they will all tell you that the dictionary is their best friend. (Or something to that effect.) It said bad spellers have terrible vocabulary -- although I didn't catch which came first, the poor vocabulary or the poor spelling -- And that writing with good spelling is lots easier to follow.

Well, that's not true if all the well-spelled words are constructed into a confusing mess of grammar and logic, but it does have a point. I mean, look at this:

Were hiring, start T oday-16 June 2008

Okay, maybe that's more a punctuation issue. But seriously, if spam email titles want to be read they'll have to stop being so depressingly inaccurate to begin with, going and telling people that if they had been on the ball, they could have been hired and could have been starting work
T oday.

By the way, 107 WPM is not sufficient to finish a typing test. I think it would take closer to 150 WPM for the whole text. (Not that anyone's missing anything by not finishing it!)

The blessings of bad reception

For most of the week I have been scarcely able to convince my wireless card to pick up the connection, even when the laptop has been happily plugged in all day and resting on its favorite chair with its back to the window, through which, I'm guessing, our beloved signal comes.

And then it hit me! Just take it outside!

It's 9:23 on a Friday night. There's still a little light. We have a tornado watch till 10 p.m., but come on, really - it's already done raining and the mosquitos are probably ready to have their opening-season party. The laptop rests just perfectly on the new mailbox-box containing the old mailbox, and an extension cord gives me enough length to sit comfortably just outside my window which is nicely decked out with wasp nests.

This is great. I think it will have to become a tradition!

The Force not so unDark as appear it may is

Feel like talking Jedi-Force-Master-speak I do. Just rather extremely annoying to be. Just also how annoying can be to show you I want, sentences which their verbs all the way at the end have, but which not the general "verbs ending phrases and sentences" etiquette allow, as for example the fine Germ languages exemplify does, which either the pronoun from the verb separation of dictates or as in other cases occur can the helping verb rather than the verb itself all the way to the end sends, all which the inferiority of imagination prove does, since Jedi-speak only a Darkly cheaply copied and twisted version of English word order present can.

Realize I do that thus discrimination against outer-space languages I myself practice and thus forfeit to be sued in the courts I do myself render.

Back from Aslan's world

Today is so beautiful! The world looks like Narnia did last night.

Normally I would never think to see a movie on Opening Night, but somehow everyone else instantly thought of that... I did make sure of our tickets by purchasing them Thursday right after work. What a great strategy, except that it was rendered moot by other friends who walked in and got theirs 15 minutes before the movie.

Okay, I won't critique Prince Caspian now, since most of my family hasn't seen it yet. Just a couple notes -

-It is beautifully made, and absolutely full of sound that vibrates you right down to the cellular level. That, or some of my sound sensitivity has been jacked up way too high, which maybe explains why I jump so much.

-Unlike Narnia I or Pirates III, there is no surprise post-credit scene... at least, there wasn't at our theater. No last scene almost makes you feel more gypped than missing it when it was there.

-Jason especially is going to enjoy it!

(Speaking of which - Jason, let me know when you get the soundtrack.)

New car photos - Edited

Okay, as promised, here are some photos of the lovely new '95 Honda Civic - that is, a link to an album with some photos:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v603/SharonLHoyt/Warsaw%202008/

Hopefully that works. If it doesn't work I'll scream.

Just kidding!

I even threw in a couple photos of our place, for free.

-----

Edit Note: Apparently that copy-and-paste line above doesn't work. Let's skip the screaming and follow Mommy's bright idea:

Go down the sidebar to the Photos section
Click on "Photobucket Albums"
(You will be on my main Photobucket page)
On the list of Albums at the left, click on "Warsaw 2008"
Bingo, you're there.

As mentioned before - you are welcome to view anything I have on that Photobucket link.

A little letter

Dear family and friends,

I am writing to share some exciting news with you all!

It is especially exciting for me because it brings you all closer.

Internet access is finally here at home!


love,
Sharon

Latest

Guess what? I have a new car!

But I forgot to take a picture, so this little description of the most important points will have to suffice for now:

'95 Honda Civic, white, 114,000 miles, power windows and a CD player (provided by previous owner).

Can you believe all that? A '95, so extremely new! Less than 15 years old, unlike the '89 Toyota - which latter is practically as old as I am. Only 114,000 miles... wow, I can't remember driving a vehicle under 200,000. Power windows can be really annoying since I am always rolling my window down and forgetting to put it up till after I've turned the car off, but oh well, just have to train myself. And the CD player! There' s a radio with it, which is nice too. But having a CD player is just too wonderful.

What happens when you're on your own for the week

Because Stacey left for a week of vacation in Florida, all this happened...

Sunday afternoon I had to amuse myself, started reading a book in a papasan chair after lunch, fell asleep and woke up with a headache and a stomachache thirty minutes before I had to leave for evening church.

Unfortunately, after waking up that night with the same persistent headache, I had nothing but Tylenol PM left and could not find anything else Stacey might have. So I took a Tylenol PM at 3 a.m., with the alarm set for 5 a.m. My word. (Excuse the strong language.) I have never in my life had so much difficulty waking up, or staying awake, or keeping my balance in the morning. Clearly, much as we take aspirin to prevent heart disease, we should take Tylenol PM to give our wake-up hormones a good workout.

Thursday our landlord had the place inspected for termites. No termites, but it looks like they will spray for ants, which means we have to say goodbye to our favorite clean-up crew that comes faithfully out around the kitchen trash every day.

Friday morning, sometime distinctly after 5:36 AM, I stopped to listen to the screen door rattle, then something that sounded like wind blowing hard but quietly. It was odd and almost gave me chills. Did I leave the screen door open last night, I wondered, knowing of course that I hadn't.

At work one of my neighbors stopped by to say Good morning and asked, "Did you feel the earthquake?"

Well no, that was after 5:36... it must have just been a tremor or aftershock. Still, how exciting!

So you see all the terrible and exciting things that happen when you're left to yourself for a week. My, I am so glad to have Stacey back!

There we were...

... on the deck of the ship.

I was looking over the edge into the water, it was night -

B-OO-O-M!

Something like a nuclear firework cracked deep beneath us underwater and vibrated everything - we all staggered, jumped back from the edge and braced - after 3 seconds - somehow I was still looking over the edge - the water parted! and an enormous missile shot up and out, shaking everything with its passing... arced away... exploded enormously and red in the night sky.

Much later...

Trevor, I missed your birthday. Happy 6th birthday!

Too bad, I was getting so used to telling everyone you are five-and-a-half. Somehow six seems a lot older.

If I come home to visit and you help make the bread, can you count up to five by yourself when we poke the loaves? I'm sure you can, from what Mommy has told us of your addition skills. You used to say "1, 2, 3, 7, 11"... or something like that.

Now be a good boy and learn to say your Rs this year!

Thursday afternoon

Wow! What a miracle! This post is being written at 4:51 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon. This was made possible by the Indiana county courthouse closing at 4:30 p.m. Since this is the same time as I finish work, I had to leave at 4 p.m. today just to get across town in time to squeeze in the half-page Indiana voter registration form. Somehow I got behind several slow vehicles (read: 5 mph below the speed limit) and in the way of several police cars (read: 3), but still made it. Whew. The polling notification should arrive in plenty of time for Indiana's relatively late May primary.

And so, here I am stuck at the library, one and a half hours before Chinese lessons begin, with nothing but Internet, thousands of books and my latest Chinese notes. Help. I think I'm going to die of boredom!

Ironic = Frustrating or Very Hilarious

Imagine this: You rent a nice little apartment but don't have Internet there.

One day, you discover you can get a wireless signal and even the password. You try everything you can think of with your wireless card, but cannot get on.

You just might need some updates for your wireless card.

Someone gives you the download information for these updates, and you go visit a friend who has Internet to download them.

At first you cannot get on your friend's Internet like usual. It takes you quite a while to figure out what you did to it earlier while trying to get on the other network, but finally, --- well, before you figure it out, it turns out that just wiping out and resetting fixes everything.

You get back to your place and happily mess around with installing the new updates. Unfortunately, they don't seem to work.

You pass this information on to your technical expert, who emails you a link for a new download. However, you are not at your own computer, so...

...You go back to visit your friend with the Internet again, in order to get the new download. Unfortunately, whatever you did to your wireless card while installing the new updates that did not work for it at your place apparently have made it not work anywhere.

You are definitely stuck between a big rock and a very hard place, because to try to get On at your place, you have to get On somewhere else to get important new stuff, but you can't get On somewhere else because you're trying to get On at your place. Not to mention that you never know, when you leave one place, what the On status at the other place will be.

How can life be so ironic and so funny!

Manual: How to Set Up Sunday School Chairs

I’m afraid this is only going to touch on the surface of a deep topic. We won’t even get as far as the technical details of chair type and placement today… just hit on a few theoretical points. Let’s see how much I can get out of one scanty semester’s worth of sociology, which I don’t plan to use at all, and the motto, “Most things can be reduced to geometry if you try hard enough.”

Your situation is a Sunday School class, pre-lesson. Said Sunday School class does not have an extremely high population value, but it is not extremely low either. (I.e. more than just you and your leader.) Your desired result for the combination of situation and population value is a room of happily talking people. How do you arrange this via the chair setup?

Your first thought is a circle of chairs. Just remember that 6 or 7 people (who know each other tolerably well) is the maximum number for a cohesive group. Any more than that, and your ratio of happy talking value to population value plummets. (Unless you are blessed with a high extrovert per head value) You will get either silence or a few scattered hushed chats.

Arrange the chairs in rows and you may not have everyone talking to everyone all the time, but you will have several free conversations going on, which easily provides you with a room of happily talking people. Since these conversations are not entirely isolated, every once in a while, you will attain the ultimate triumph – some topic will leak out of a group into the rest of the room and pull everyone into a conversation.

It’s all about geometry. And the moral of this geometry lesson is: Lines trump circles!

The end of winter

Pre-spring is here!

It has been 40 degrees for two days. That should qualify, right?

Why you should eat Coriander Seeds

I suppose this is true of any seeds used as spices, but coriander seeds are perfect because they are little and round and hard, and so, when you eat something with coriander seeds in it --

You will be chewing along on a delicious mouthful, and suddenly your teeth will hit on a seed and pop it open, and all the flavor that was locked in the seed even through cooking will make a little
!burst! into your mouth.

So you should eat them because they are so much fun to eat.

Question for you

While happily reading along in Chinese history today, I read of someone described as an "individualist, cynic..." etc.

Do individualists tend to be cynical, or do cynics tend to be individualists, or both?

I don't want anyone to get mad at me (which should prove I'm not either of those), so let me hurry to say this question doesn't imply anything negative about either cynicism or individualism. The world and indeed my own family is much richer with both traits! It just seems that those blessed with one seem blessed with the other.

What do you think?

Indiana Anniversary

As of 8 January 2008, I have lived in Indiana for one year. Do you believe that? I'm not sure I do.

Well, Indiana will have to put up with me through April. I shouldn't have any trouble putting up with Indiana, especially with its weather, which is so much fun because it changes every single day.

Enjoy these last two days of January, and don't forget that we will be getting a whole extra day in February!! Start planning your February 29 parties now.

Thursday morning's adventure

Thursday morning I got up at 5:00 as always, had my lunch all packed and was ready to walk out the door right at 6:50.

Then I realized my keys weren't lying on the floor by my purse. In fact, they weren't in my purse either. In fact, they weren't in my coat pocket or yesterday's pants pocket or dumped on the closet floor or left on top of the microwave... they weren't anywhere!

I was getting worried for about five minutes of perplexed searching, till I remembered that spare car key I had had made (after locking myself out of the car the second time). Well, that was all right, then, as long as I could get to work! Just had to leave the door unlocked and hope Stacey was around or at least not out of the country when I got home. After that, it was just funny. Funny imagining what I would have done without any keys whatsoever, and funny imagining what I was going to do... laughing kept me warm all the way to work.

I was walking into the building when I noticed that my coat was hitting the leg rather more firmly than usual. Whoops... yep... there actually was a little hole in one coat pocket corner, and they had slipped all the way to the lining.

That was funny too, only not so funny as it would have been to not find them at all. Oh well.

2008 Presidential Elections - in Europe

That is, President of the European Council. And there must be a vice-president-type post along with it. Because, according to this Le Monde article from Thursday, French president Nicolas Sarkozy possibly has the brilliant idea of a Blair-Sarkozy ticket for these top seats of European power.

Unfortunately, not everyone is completely enchanted by this idea, one being former French president Valery Giscard d'Estaing, who "didn't refrain from speaking all the evil he thought of it".

What evil? "The future president must be in sync with the majority of his own country, and belong to a country that respects all the European rules." The second clearly not something that the U.K. can overcome, seeing as they "practice the 'opting out' " regarding said rules - to use the journalist's expression (and yes, that's "l'opting out" in French. Doesn't that just hurt?).

But of course, the real evil is what Edouard Balladur (former Prime Minister of France) told Le Monde - credibility. Because, as Edouard Balladur (former Prime Minister of France) reminds us, the president of the European Council must have an attachment to the independence of Europe - and how, how, "how would Mr. Blair be credible to incarnate this ambition when, in the disastrous Irak affair, he always held zealously to the U.S. side?"

No, he's right, of course. A President of the European Council who sides with the U.S. is impossible. It would kind of defeat the whole point of the European Union.

Here we go in 2008

Life continues!

I guess I will give up those detailed updates I used to try.

2008 began like a a year should -- lots of snow to drive through between Iowa and Indiana. The trip was so interesting that I never got around to turning on the radio. Just like the trip out to Iowa, except that time I was having too much fun singing Christmas songs in the car.

I returned to an almost snowed-in apartment. So the first task was to clear out around the car's parking spot and the entrance to the drive, which had, of course, been liberally helped out our friendly neighborhood snowplow.

The next week, the weather decided to warm up, drastically. That is, it reached 64 degrees Fahrenheit, which is a 50-year record, and melted all the heaps and heaps of snow we had received, plus rained several days. So we have just had the worst flooding anyone has seen for a long time. Fortunately, Stacey and I don't have a basement. We did enjoy watching Center Lake lap up onto the parking lots as we drove by this morning.

Not much else exciting has been happening...

Stacey and I have not even set off the smoke alarm once this year, yet. We did make a whole crockpot-full of taco soup and have eaten every bite (practically) and it only took us a week.

Last night we had Kendra and Stacey's friend over and watched two movies in a row! Meet the Robinsons and Sahara. Our favorite line had to be from the second movie: the right-hand good guy hurling his rifle down and yelling, "I'm so tired of getting shot at!" Poor guy, I think he was really upset.

Chinese is getting more fascinating by the week. I think I can't resist studying it outside of class much longer, especially with the CDs Mommy got me for Christmas.

Well, that will have to do for this week. Time to run home and get ready for company!

So fascinating, so slightly pointless

Is there anything more entertaining than sitting around and listening to media members sit around and speculate over the possible election outcomes that they, in their vast political experience and foresight, kindly deign to provide us?

And you sit here and wonder, "Friends in the media! By December, most of your year of 2008 will be rendered obsolete. Doesn't that hurt?"

The latest in dentistry logos

Crocodile.

This is an important question. "Is this a suitable emblem for a service which wishes to emphasise trust and hygiene?"

Christmas vacation report

In this lull of real life between the first caucus and the first primary...

Christmas vacation was a tremendous blessing. My kind employer and supervisor offered and encouraged me to take off the three days after Christmas. So I did, which made for over a week at home with my beloved family. That's the most I've seen them since last Christmas! (since the June Hoyt reunion was barely a week)

As mentioned before -- The drive home turned out to be an exciting race against oncoming freezing rain, which I won by 10:30 a.m. (Iowa time) and a good 4-hour margin. Then there was a nice short weekend with Ardith.

Driving from Cedar Rapids to the homestead was very interesting, with that good old Iowa wind blowing lots of snow -- one second whiting everything out, the next second clearing a panoramic landscape.

We had so much fun!

Christmas Eve was hunting up presents.

Christmas was, of course, kids counting down the minutes till presents... and testing out all three games Ardith gave the family, all day long... and watching a new Veggie Tales and then, of course, our new Christmas tradition of Narnia... oh, and there was a delicious dinner in there somewhere.

Wednesday was a shopping run for Mommy and Carolyn, which was fortunately extended with a $100 Goodwill gift certificate! Those that stayed home played more games. It was such a treat to make bread again (and pies, twice, though the crusts turned out abominably), and worked in the garage -- that is, Daddy did.

Thursday was Applesauce Day #2. Making applesauce is actually pretty involved:

1 - picking apples out of the boxes in the addition
2 - washing all the apples (with the smallest trickle of water possible that still has both hot and cold in it)
3 - halving apples
4 - coring apples
5 - slicing apples
6 - filling saucepans with apples
7 - cooking apples
8 - mashing apples in - that thing
9 - sugaring applesauce
10 - cooling applesauce
11 - filling containers with applesauce
12 - storing containers in freezer

Most of this is done on foot, so yep, it wears the old leg and foot muscles out, mostly from sheer inactivity. Ardith pitched in till she left for her home in the afternoon.

Friday - what did we do on Friday? I think the kids persuaded me to make that the Age of Empires MultiPlayer game day. Derek, Melinda, Carolyn, Ethan and myself, and it was a lot of fun, although I forgot to get out of the Stone Age (or some age) till the others realized I was getting wiped out in every skirmish. I think we finished on Saturday... that is, Carolyn, Ethan and I defeated Derek and Melinda.

Saturday was Mommy's and Kendra's night out, so I got to cook supper - spaghetti. All you need for good spaghetti sauce is tomato sauce (and meat) and some good spices to experiment with.

Sunday most of us made it to church.

Sunday afternoon we went sledding down the neighboring icy driveway! First we were just skidding down on boots... then we found out the sleds worked... then we hooked the two sleds together and went down five at once... then we tried four on one sled and made it down about 3 times, once with no wipeouts or injuries!

Monday night most of us kids made it back to church for the New Year's Eve party.

And New Year's Day was the day to drive to Indiana!

(...continued in a following post...)

Today!

Do you know what today is?

It is a great day for any American who calls Iowa home, because --

1 - It is the very beginning of the U.S. presidential elections!

2 - It is the day that Iowa gets a showing at the top of BBC's home page, all day!

So we all, Iowans or not, wait eagerly to find out who breaks out of the gate first.