little language lover

S&S's Great New England Adventure - Day 5

2011-07-09T10:50:00.001-04:00

Well, after that exciting 4^th of July night, after which we tumbled out of the subway and into bed well after midnight, we slept in. Until 9am, at which time Housekeeping knocked on our door. What?! We were too shocked to respond… I mean what hotel would send Housekeeping around at 9 in the morning ever, let alone the morning after a holiday?! Well, it was pretty much time to get up anyway. We had a full day of Freedom Trail ahead of us.

So the Freedom Trail in Boston is: Follow the Red Brick Road along the Boston streets to visit historic landmarks! I’m serious, it is a two-brick wide red line, if it’s not in bricks then it’s in red paint on the concrete. It is a very handy way to find your way around central Boston. We visited the Park Street Church and the graveyard and the King’s Chapel graveyard (oh I was so excited about 2 graveyards in a row, especially with their beautiful headstones which tended to be a skull-shaped face between wings) and King’s Chapel and the Old State House, where we got to have a nifty little tour that explains exactly what probably happened during the Boston Massacre. We did get a little distracted on the way… once we stopped at a used bookstore where I bought 3 or 4 books for under $10, and then by the time we got to Faneuil Hall, it was closed for the day and Quincy Market was just across, and in the paved courtyard between, there was a street show going on – basically a guy who could climb a ladder without propping it against anything. Pretty neat! Then I really wanted to see Quincy Market so we walked through the ground-level floor. It’s really neat. You have to go to one such to understand, but it’s a lot of little shops selling everything from seafood to chocolate to candles under a roof, but it feels kind of like an open-air market, with a roof. So when we saw the ice cream and frozen yogurt, we decided we should get some, since we didn’t feel like taking time out for supper yet. Oh my goodness, I could get bogged down in all these boring details, let me move on… So since the rest of the sites along the Freedom Trail were closed for the day, we walked back and walked around the parks and saw the Ducks and fed the ducks in the pond – I did that is, peanut butter crackers, I had 7 little ducklings trading water right next to the edge of the pond to get the crumbs. Such fun! :)

And then let’s see… we walked around for a while looking for supper, then we finally, at the end of our footlife, stumbled into Uburger and got ourselves burgers, and went home and plopped into bed- I mean went back to the hotel and plopped.

S&S's Great New England Adventure - Day 4

2011-07-05T23:39:00.004-04:00

And it was MONDAY! A big day! Time to leave Connecticut, and visit Rhode Island, and arrive in Boston and see the fireworks!

We drove to Newport and only turned around once on the way... I think just once. Newport was of course quite busy as it was a beautiful sunny day, much like it was when I was there one year ago. We drove to Bellevue Avenue to visit one of the mansions - the Breakers. Oh my goodness. It's so magnificent in there. It's kind of hard to imagine living there (well for simple little me anyway) but especially hard to think of the difference in standard of living between the rich and the poor, which I realize still exists, I guess it just doesn't permeate society as visibly. Oh but excuse me, all those huge mansions weren't mansions really, they were just summer cottages for the folks who owned them. Anyway, the tour was very nifty because they gave us a little ipod-thingy and earphones, which we carried around with us and pressed Play every room or so to keep following the tour and hear the descriptions. Keeps down the ruckus of a building being toured, that is for sure. I think the most amazing thing to me was that the Vanderbilts built their tubs out of 1 piece of solid marble, which made the tubs so cold that they had to be filled and emptied with hot water several times before they were actually warm enough to get in. Excuse me but I think that's kind of a dumb luxury, but anyway.

We walked along part of the Cliff Walk which runs along the coastline right behind the mansions. Beautiful of course! The best part is where the sidewalk turns into a Rock Walk, huge rocks that are flat on top that you can step or hop along as you wish. There was a horrid smell in the air that we think was the stinky seaweed washed up on the beach. I mean that it wasn't stinky to begin with but it probably got left way up on the beach and started to get over-sunned or something... We did however brave the stench (ok, it was a stench to us but probably not that bad) to walk right down to the water and stand on rocks where the waves splashed over our feet - oh! such fun! :)

And then we were very hungry so we drove off to find Panera Bread, which was easy, and then we drove around for 30 minutes looking for free parking then for cheap parking then just for how to get into the public parking period... ! Revived with food, we set off in the car to drive around the southern bay coastline on the Ocean Drive. It's beautiful, you must do it if you go to Newport. We would've gone out on the rocks again except for the smell and also our allotted time was almost up, it was time to head out to Boston.

So a couple hours later we arrived in Boston and found our hotel and found that the door closest to our hotel room can only be gone out, not back in, which was slightly inconvenient but we survived. After getting unpacked and resting up just enough for my pain pill to start killing the headache, we took the hotel shuttle bus to the subway station--

--here let me just pause and say that Stacey was the brains behind our trip and planned everything from the hotels to how we would get around each city and what we'd see, we would have been sitting in our hotel room trying to figure things out on Monday night if it weren't for her, three cheers for Stacey!--

--and hopped on the subway to downtown Boston, then we just followed the crowds to find the Esplanade where the Boston Pops was playing and the fireworks would be shot off! We couldn't see the Pops playing but we could hear them, the sound was broadcast all over the Esplanade area (which is basically the area all along the riverbanks, I believe...), it was incredible music, and then we had to figure out where to stand so we could see the fireworks. THAT was a job! Like before, we played Sheep and just followed the crowds to where they were clustered, it was a spot where we could see pretty well between the leaves of the trees along the riverbank. We had to stand waiting a while and I was about ready to give up and die and sit down, when suddenly, ka-BOOM, there they were! They were fantastic fireworks! There was music playing at the same time and most of the fireworks matched well with the music, quite mesmerizing... and then the finale was all the fireworks you can imagine in the sky at one time, ka-POP, ka-POP, KA-BOOM! all over the place!

Afterward we followed the crowd to the subway and Stacey and I just managed to squish onto the first (I think) train back... one more person got on after us and oh my goodness, that was a little closer quarters than I've ever stood to anyone and I won't go into more detail but it was definitely some kind of experience!

And we got home, I mean back to the hotel, after riding in the back of the hotel shuttle on the floor (!) and tumbled into bed and slept so hard, it was just wonderful... and that's what I'm going to do now, good-night.

S&S's Great New England Adventure - Day 3

2011-07-05T23:14:00.003-04:00

Sunday morning dawned. S & S slept late and had a relaxing morning (oh my goodness, skipping church - well to our credit, we had tried to find a church, but neither the Internet nor the phonebook had any hours listed, hence as we weren't sure when to show up...), then set off for Gillette Castle! A castle in Connecticut, how exciting. It was cloudy and looked like rain.

As usual with every time we've gotten in the car to go somewhere on this trip, we did take a wrong turn and had to turn around, but otherwise it was a lovely drive up windy Connecticut mountain roads past other roads with lovely names. One was called Petticoat Lane and I told Stacey I would be so happy if one of my brothers ended up living on a road like that.

Gillette Castle is not strictly a castle but rather the castle-like mansion of a gentleman named William Gillette. It has towers and practically almost has a moat (without any water though) and secret doors for dramatic entrances or quick get-aways - from guests. The castle itself was quite fascinating but more so was the man himself. He was an actor and a play writer. Upon being introduced to the Sherlock Holmes stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle, he wrote the first adaptations for the stage, and acted the part of Holmes himself, and he gave Holmes those characteristic bits that we've come to expect in depictions of Sherlock Holes - the hunter's cap, the pipe, the violin, the "Elementary, my dear fellow" (which was replaced with "my dear Watson" later). Also I was very sad to find out that his wife died a few years after their marriage and he promised never to remarry. Sad on both counts, I feel so badly that he would make such a promise, though I'm sure it's very noble and splendid and all that.

After exploring the castle bottom to top (the required order) we ventured out to explore the grounds, and Stacey was in the process of getting us good and lost out on the trails, when the sprinkles of rain started to become more insistent and we started to walk at a more insistently rapid pace to our car, which we reached just before getting quite soaked... We finally decided that was enough outdoors exploring and headed out to see what other adventures we could find.

On the atlas Stacey had discovered the Mystic Aquarium listed near New London on the coast, so as I'd never been to an aquarium, we went! It was pretty fascinating. I touched a shark and a stingray. YIKES! About the hardest thing I have ever made myself do! I highly recommend it, it's an intense sort of adrenaline rush!

Same day I had also found out that we had friends after all in Connecticut, which I'd forgotten! So we got directions on the phone and headed over to New Haven. It was very enjoyable to see Jon and Christine Potter again and they took us out for famous New Haven pizza (incredibly good, similar to NYC pizza but apparently with a flatter more-burnt crust), and took us on a little walking tour of Yale University and New Haven. We walked past 3 of the 4 secret society buildings. They don't have many windows or really look welcoming at all. In fact they're quite spooky to walk by at night. YIKES!

And after 3 towns in 1 day thus ended our tour of Connecticut which was quite a bit more extensive than we'd planned but very enjoyable.

S&S's Great New England Adventure - Day 2

2011-07-02T23:09:00.002-04:00

It was a long beautiful drive on Saturday, relatively uneventful. Our book-on-tape did quit working right at the most intriguing part in the story (where Darcy and Elizabeth are about to meet again), but, at that point we only had a couple more hours to go, no big deal.

But when we reached Berlin in Connecticut, the real fun began!

First, we got to our hotel and discovered that our room had just one bed, instead of the two beds clearly indicated on the reservation print-out. Oh well! They gave us a nice-sized cot to make amends (I'm sure I'll be sacked out on it shortly).

Next we got directions off the internet for a good place to eat, a Polish restaurant, and we had hopes of also finding a park in which to walk around after the long day of sitting. So we set off. We discovered very quickly that the roads here have long center rails which frequently block you from turning exactly where you need to, so you may need to drive a half-mile further and make a U-turn. You know these U-turns are legal once you get to a left turn lane that would take you straight into trees if you didn't use it for a U-turn. Also there are all kinds of street signs and only a few of them are the green ones up on the right-hand side or over the road. Some are white signs, some are white posts, and some are just plain non-existent. And the "No turn on red" signs are strategically placed down on the right where the driver can't possibly see them once he/she has pulled up to the light. But, I digress!! Back to the story.

So after looping around the same roads several times, we finally found our real road and headed happily down it. We went up and down it several times without discovering the Polish restaurant. Finally we found it - and discovered why no one had answered my phone call earlier to see if we needed a reservation - because it was closed tonight although neither the internet nor any signs on the restaurant indicated this at all. "But we're open tomorrow night" she assured us, so, we might try that tomorrow before leaving Connecticut.

Then we looped up and down the road looking for a park, but the only park was apparently a stadium park, not exactly what I'd envisioned, and a lot of the restaurant neighborhood felt inner-city anyway, so we didn't exactly feel like strolling around. I did realize later that we could have walked through the historic part of town. Note for next time!

Then we looped up and down the road looking for another restaurant, and finally Stacey saw a nice Italian one called P's (all names have been abbreviated to protect identity). It was very nice. They gave us a delightful green oil-based dipping sauce for the bread - I think it had garlic and green pepper seeds and green onions in it. Then we received our salads.

[intermission: Sharon visits the ladies' room and discovers that the toilet is not quite working, fixes it]

My salad had a little piece of plastic in it. I was momentarily shocked but got over it. Then we received our lovely plates of pasta. By this time we'd realized we weren't really hungry at all, but we managed to eat a little. It was definitely very yummy. Our waiter kindly offered to box up our food for us but we declined since we hadn't seen a fridge in our hotel room. I explained to him, "We don't have a refrigerator" but neglected to mention the hotel part. Hopefully he figured that out! He was a very good fellow. He even ran out after us with my sunglasses which I'd left on the seat. I suppose he never had such a pair of inexplicable blondes on his hands, poor guy!

We made it back to the hotel, to find a refrigerator.

I think that's all the failures I have to recount tonight - hotel failure, direction failure, park failure, 2 restaurant failures, appetite failure, etc. etc. ... but we did laugh LOTS! And we just can't wait to see what happens tomorrow!

Sharon's and Stacey's Great New England Adventure - Day 1

2011-07-02T22:57:00.002-04:00

Friday morning dawned! It was the day to leave on the big trip East! Sharon and Stacey went to work that morning. They both pulled back into their drive at 12:30pm and loaded up the car and set out!

The first day's drive went well. Except for the fact that they missed one exit at Ft. Wayne and found themselves going back around the Loop headed West - that was clearly not right so they quickly corrected! At suppertime they arrived at their first destination, home of Hoyt family friends in Ohio. Had lots of yummy homemade food (including punch) and splendid company and laughter, especially when teaching their friends to play Dutch Blitz. Slept like logs and set out again the next day!

...to be continued...

The trip out East, Part 2

2011-06-08T20:30:00.002-04:00

Let's see, where did we leave off? So I got to the hotel at 11:30pm. Took care of some business and made it to bed around 12:30am. Exhausted but could not sleep... I realized I had a long day of training the next day, and I would have to drive into downtown New York afterward, and here I was all very alone in a hotel room in New Jersey. But Calvin & Hobbes comics always save the day, I mean the night... I fell asleep reading them with the lamplight on full blast above me.

6:00am! Time to get up! Time to get ready! Time to eat breakfast and pack up all my stuff and - uh oh, I was supposed to be there in 15 minutes and I would still have to figure out the way and I just didn't think it was right to be late for something the company had paid me to attend, so I ran out the door without checking out of the hotel. It was gyp the hotel or gyp the trainers, what do you do? Hopefully it would be OK to come back and check out at 5pm.

Oops it was NOT as easy to get to the business destination as thought. Sure it was right down the street, but it was in a Center, which means you drive all over windy curvy roads past various Suites till you finally beyond all hope realize you're at your number. You get out and go in and go up the elevator in good faith, 'cause there aren't really any signs for the company you're looking for... <Bam> there it is on the glass door right in front of you. Yippee!

It wrapped up sooner than I expected. I left around 4pm. We were done at 3:30 and they had found out I was driving to New York that night so they said, "Go now and you'll be good!" But I don't like to be rushed. So I asked my questions and said good-bye and left, and found my way back to the hotel. And discovered my room key no longer worked. Surprise! I guess not, I told them 1 night. Two can play at this game, I thought, carrying my sack of casual clothes... I stopped in the hotel's public restroom to change and then checked out.

Well it was now around 4:30pm and they had said, "If you wait till 4:30, don't even bother trying to drive out until 6:30, you'll be on the road forever." I thought about the drive ahead. I was quite tired. I decided to be cool and stop off at a bookstore in the hotel neighborhood, spent some happy time browsing, finally at 5pm I couldn't take it any more, I just wanted to leave and didn't care about the traffic, so I bought myself a water bottle and some chocolate and headed out.

Oh my goodness, it was time for the great drive to New York! I turned on the GPS and typed in the address-- uhh--- OOPS! OH MY GOODNESS, it's time for the great drive to New York with Google directions because the GPS cannot locate Ben and Franci's perfectly legitimate NY address! Oh boy, this will be fun! And in heavy evening rush hour traffic! Of course I totally trusted my Google directions, more than the GPS by this time.

And off on Highway 1! Which is probably the first highway ever in the U.S., don't you think? How historic!

To be continued...

The trip out East, Part 1

2011-06-06T20:36:00.002-04:00

It's time to tell the tale of the Great Trip Out East!

Actually it's not that epic, but it was quite fun and exciting in its own way.

Upon finding out that I would get to attend training for work in New Jersey on a Thursday, I immediately started planning to spend the weekend. Then I discovered it would be Memorial Day weekend! 6 days of adventure, counting the time to travel and even the training! I was very nearly besides myself, especially with having cousins out in New York and Pennsylvania that I would get to visit.

At 10:00am on a Wednesday morning, I happily drove away from work and off to the airport. It started pouring screaming rain. I almost stopped but then it got better. Then I almost stopped again, but then I thought, "Nah."

At the airport, the storm rolled in again and flights were canceled or delayed due to lightning strikes on the runway. Mine was one of them. So instead of hopping up to Detroit and over to Newark, New Jersey, I got onto a flight via Cincinnati. I was very excited about this because I already knew Detroit like the back of my hand from two previous business trips, but not Cincinnati (I'm talking about the airports of course... not the cities).

Unfortunately the flight changes meant I lost my two window seats, but life went on.

I also thought there was going to be a meal on the Cincinnati-Newark flight and there turned out to be nothing. So I was getting quite hungry.

Arrived in Newark around 8:30, just before dark. Too bad, I had planned to be there by 5:30 and have plenty of time to find places in the daylight. But no matter! I was armed with Google maps for every route I had to take, and imagine my ecstasy when the Avis guy told me that I could have a GPS with my rental car! Ecstasy mixed with trepidation that is. I was on a mission and collected my baggage and the car and drove off with a thirsty throat and an empty stomach. Humm.

The Avis guy had set the first destination for me, so I followed it... at first I was bad at following a GPS. New cities are always a bit tricky to navigate, too many turns to fast, and I just didn't believe the GPS in time to make the turn. After a few "recalculatings" in which I was trying to stay alive in non-interstate traffic, I got safely onto the great 95 N-S. I think it's 95... right? I'm not bothering looking it up just for this story, I prefer to rely on my nimble memory!

Once on the interstate I breathed a huge sigh of relief, found a radio station I liked, stopped at the first travel plaza I came across in order to get a nice bottle of water and a cheeseburger and emergency snacks. I was not willing to sit around and eat, so hopped back on the road and attempted to tear my cheeseburger into bite-size pieces with my right hand while driving, and eat it of course (can't really bite off sandwiches due to my braces). It worked pretty well, I don't think I got any ketchup on the seat, but then it was dark. They could really make cheeseburgers less slippery!

That drive went fine except I passed highway 1 which I'd thought my Google map would send me off on. Eventually the GPS took me off the highway on all kinds of weird roads, I nearly panicked until I saw signs for Princeton, finally! (which was my destination) .... until I ended up a neighborhood and the GPS said I was at my destination. Phooey! I don't think so! Stupid GPS! So I set off to find highway 1 myself, and did it with no problem. Unfortunately I probably turned east onto the highway just east of my hotel, 'cause after going 10 miles east, I stopped at a gas station and gave the GPS another shot, as it was now 10:30 and I was extremely exhausted... This time it worked. I arrived at the hotel and a very nice man checked me in and I found my room and was promptly awed by its plushness... I decided I'd better get a Super 8 next time to recalibrate my hotel meter!

High time to pause the story, all this talk of hotels is making me sleepy.

(I apologize in advance, I'm not proofreading anything)

To be continued...

The Chicken and the Duck

2011-05-07T20:07:00.003-04:00

The chicken and the duck stood by the road.

"What is that?" asked the chicken.

"It's a road," said the duck.

"Let's cross it!" exclaimed the chicken.

"I don't think that's a good idea," said the duck.

"Why not?" asked the chicken.

"Because you might die!" said the duck.

"How do you know?" asked the chicken.

"Because, haven't you heard the jokes?" replied the duck.

"No, what jokes?" asked the chicken.

"The ones that go, 'Why did the chicken cross the road?' " answered the duck.

"Really? There are jokes about me? Cool!" said the chicken.

"Yeah, they're usually pretty funny," remarked the duck.

"So what's the answer to the joke?" asked the chicken.

"It depends, there are a lot of variations," explained the duck.

"So what's one variation?" asked the chicken.

"Ok, here's the original: 'To get to the other side.' " answered the duck.

The chicken and the duck looked at the road.

"That's funny!" laughed the chicken.

"Yeah I know!" agreed the duck.

"So how is that going to kill me?" asked the chicken.

"What?" asked the duck.

"How is crossing the road to get to the other side going to kill me?" asked the chicken.

The duck looked at the road.

"Well, the joke is asking why the chicken crossed the road, in the past," answered the duck.

"So it's a historical joke, how is that fatal?" asked the chicken.

"Because it's in the past, and it never says the chicken got to the other side," explained the duck.

The chicken looked at the road.

"But that's not the point of the joke," said the chicken.

"What's the point?" asked the duck.

"The point is the reason why the chicken crossed the road," said the chicken.

"I know," said the duck.

"So how is that going to kill me?" asked the chicken.

"What?" asked the duck.

"How is my reason for crossing the road going to kill me?" asked the chicken.

The duck looked at the road.

"Because the reason goes in the obituary," said the duck.

"Whose obituary?" asked the chicken.

"The chicken's," answered the duck.

"The chicken died?" gasped the chicken.

"Yes," said the duck.

"How did the chicken die again?" asked the chicken.

The duck looked at the road.

"I don't know, probably a car hit it," said the duck.

The chicken looked at the duck.

"Well, that's easy. I'll just look both ways," said the chicken.

"Are you going to cross the road?" asked the duck.

"Yes!" replied the chicken.

"Wait!" said the duck.

"What?" asked the chicken.

"Why?" asked the duck.

"Why what?" asked the chicken.

"Why are you going to cross the road?" asked the duck.

The chicken looked at the road.

"Well if I don't tell you, maybe I won't die," said the chicken.

The duck looked at the chicken.

The chicken looked at the road.

The chicken looked both ways.

The chicken stepped into the road.

......

Back

2011-05-01T21:49:00.002-04:00

So: if I resurrect this blog, do you think anyone will read it?

The answer is: Ha! Who cares? It's enough just having a green place to write!

Phone Talk

2010-11-17T21:10:00.001-05:00

---I almost forgot to put this on the blog! from several weeks ago---

I just love conference calls, because they mean talking to people, and people are so much fun! This afternoon I had a nice conversation with New Jersey, here is how it started...

Sharon: Hi!

NJ 1: Hello Sharon, how are you?

Sharon: Good, how are you guys doing?

NJ 1: Good! How are you on this Friday afternoon?

Sharon: I'm good, hey guess what?! It's snowing here!

NJ:

NJ 1: It's snowing? Sharon, where are you located?

Sharon: In northern Indiana.

NJ 1: Oh!

NJ 2: Actually I think there is one county in New Jersey that has a chance of getting snow tonight.

Sharon: Ohh, how exciting for you guys.

NJ:

NJ 2: Not really!

NJ 1: Sharon, do you like the snow?

Sharon: Oh yes, I love snow, I love driving in it!

NJ:

NJ 2: Definitely not my favorite part! It shouldn't be snowing for another month and a half - there should be a regulation for it.

NJ 1: I like snow on Christmas, for the holidays.

Wrists are precious

2010-08-10T21:20:00.003-04:00

The title is the moral of the story. I believe in starting with the moral.

We went to our big Hoyt reunion in Texas. When we have our reunions in Texas, we usually hang out at the big church gym. When we hang out at the gym, we do fun things like line tag and dancing and volleyball and relay races. It was Monday morning, first official day of the reunion, high time for relay races.

Relays - not just for running! We usually run the first one just to warm up. Then it's hopping, skipping, chicken walk, bear crawl, crab walk, leapfrog -- any momentum movement you can imagine, we do. You always get lots of laughs and great pictures and find all kinds of new muscles to be sore.

Well, we got through all the relays and the very last one was running again. Our teams were pretty closely matched (about 15 cousins on each side). So I gave it my all for my team! I sprinted down the track and tore back as fast as I could. We had been clearing the wall for incoming runners, so I figured, "Hey, I'm not slowing down, I'm gonna hit that wall running". The only problems with this plan: 1) the wall was 3 feet from the end of the track; 2) I didn't take physics. Mad dash! - throw out hands with wrists at 90 degree angles - SMACK. OUCH.

Thankfully, the left wrist was severely injured but the right only mildly sprained. Useable enough to get through the week. It was a very restful week. Did still manage to play Hunt the Gray Wolf and dance a little with my gentle cousins. Drove home - very proud of that.

In Texas the clinic x-rayed and said it was a possible fracture, treat it like one. I was hoping for closure in Indiana, homeland of orthopaedic doctors, but no such luck. But they did assure me I couldn't move the bone or break it worse (I guess barring throwing myself down on cement). So instead of a cast I opted for this nifty black splint. It's so much fun to wear that it's almost worth everything endured up to this point. You should get one and try it! But don't mess with your wrists to do it, please. Wrists are precious. You have no idea until you lose them.

Walking giggles

2010-07-21T12:37:00.003-04:00

OK, a new post has been requested. Till I get a real one, here's what happened the other week when I was out on a walk:

[As Sharon walks past guy biking who stopped to take a drink...]

Guy: Hi, want a drink?
Sharon: No thank you.
Guy: I have clean lips, believe it or not.
Sharon: I believe you.

[... keeps walking, finally gets far enough to laugh convulsively]

Knock-Knock Joke... Not

2010-06-10T21:14:00.006-04:00

This is a joke between Sharon (Company Director) and IDOR (Indiana Department Of Revenue).

Sharon: Knock knock.

IDOR: Who's there?

Sharon: Business owner.

IDOR: Business owner who?

Sharon: Business owner Sharon who wants to pay her company's June estimated taxes, please.

IDOR: Nice try. Sorry, not funny enough to let you in. [displays Error 404]

Sharon: Hey! You're not supposed to reject Line 5 of a knock-knock joke!

IDOR: Too bad, you already lost the joke, because you have the wrong site.

Sharon: But this was the first search result from Google!

IDOR: Well Google forgot to update.

Sharon: [mutters to herself] OK fine, let's see where I can get by smart-typing a URL into Chrome.

IN.GOV: [puts up fancy graphic] This is our official Indiana Government site, wasn't it worth the detour to see our beauty?

Sharon: Look at you, aren't you gorgeous. Let's try "Taxes and Finance".

IDOR: Oh. You found us. As you can see by the fancy graphic that is still on the screen, this is the new improved Indiana DOR site.

Sharon: Now what on earth was the estimated payment under... let's try "Individual Income Tax Return Filing Options".

IDOR: See, now the fancy graphic is gone, but you can tell you're still on our new site, because that URL which you actually had mostly right, now has a nifty random number tacked on the end.

Sharon: [ignoring IDOR] Humm... "I-File" -- nope, that's the annual shebang filing... "Federal/State Electronic Filing Program" -- nope, that's for tax professionals...
"How do Hoosiers feel about electronic filing?" -- well, I would say they despise the system right now...

IDOR: You're pathetic. Can't even navigate our "fast, friendly and free online filing tool."

Sharon: Oh go away... maybe I'll go away... wait a minute, "Information for Business Taxpayers", obviously.

IDOR: Sure. Here are 20 options.

Sharon: Thanks, except none of them are right.

IDOR: That's OK. I've got all night for you to search me.

Sharon: You jerk. Fine. I'm just going to use the Search tool then. [types] "estimated taxes"

IDOR: Wait. No. That's too easy.

Sharon: Let's see, how about "ePay DOR" --> "Individual Tax" --> "Individual Estimated Payment".... I win.

IDOR: Not yet. I still have more dead-end options.

Sharon: Too late. I see it - "Begin using ePay". I win!

IDOR: Just wait till we finish remodeling our site and get the new doors on. Then we can have another Knock-Knock joke.

Sharon: I can't wait. At least I win till September.

A Midwesterner in Massachusetts, Part 2

2010-04-06T18:23:00.003-04:00

Back to Massachusetts for Part 2...

We nearly forgot about lunch! I stepped out of the tourist shop to find Panera Bread waiting for me. It was a clear sign from God, and it was way past time to eat. I got a sandwich with turkey, cheese and avocado. No no wait, it was artichoke. I knew it was something exotic and green. Very yummy, of course it was huge so I ate half of it and bagged the rest for supper.

Back at the free parking lot, I looked for a way out and was dismayed to find the exit passed by a toll gate. Except, there was no one in the booth and no gate lowered. So I crept up (in the Toyota I mean), looked around for cops, finally convinced myself that the sign had, indeed, said "Free Parking", and pulled out as unobtrusively as possibly. At that moment, I swear a warning beeping started. It wasn't coming from the toll gate, but I got out of there quick. Within range of the speed limit of course.

The scenic drive was a slow start. There were LOTS of pedestrians walking Thames Street. I was a little sorry to be in the car at first, but it was sunny, I rolled the window down, and the breezy breezes beckoned from places away by the bay.

Once you get to the edge of Newport, you turn right, onto Wellington Avenue, past Newport Harbor and onto the little peninsula that juts out into Narragansett Bay. This is the Scenic Ocean Drive. (So it's not quite the ocean... ) You wend your way along the loveliest windy roads through beautiful hills and slopes and orchards and wall-circled properties. For about the second time in my life I was driving under the speed limit and content to do so, trying to take everything in.

When you get around to the southern tip of the peninsula (farthest from town) you suddenly find that you are driving right next to the bay! And suddenly there are lots of cars parked up to your left, and people out on the wall or down by the bay or flying kites, and you'd gladly join them, but for the life of you, you seem to have missed the only entrance to the parking area and you drive on and on for a half-mile of torture till finally there's one last entrance to parking before it ENDS, forever. Whew that was close.

There were really-truly rocks down by the water! There was some sign warning people about climbing on the rocks but plenty of people were down there, so I set right out to explore. I think maybe I clambered out a little farther than the other people. Found out pretty quick that wave-splashed licheny rocks are awfully slippery. When you get down into a crevice among the rocks where you can't see anyone else, and a big wave comes sloshing in - wheee! - it feels like being in Neverland! Which part of the Peter Pan story, I'm not sure.

Got my fill of staring at the bay, of clambering over big rocks, little rocks, flat ones and slidey ones piled in some kind of beach. And then I stooped down and saw that a lot of those little rocks were actually shells! Immediately filled my pockets for the kids back home.

Quite a few people were flying kites in the open field behind the parking area. One of the kites was incredible. It was like a two-winged bird, and the kite-flyer had two handholds on separate strings they could use to pull it down one way, then another, only it looked more like a roller coaster ride because the wind was so strong that the kite tugged back for every tug of theirs, they could lean back at a 45-degree angle!

On with the drive. Wellington Avenue had long since turned into Halidon Avenue, into Harrison Avenue, into Ridge Road, into... humm... maybe after that they ran out of Avenue names and just call it Scenic Ocean Drive. Once you get to the southeast corner of the peninsula, you start passing some very decided mansions and their fine lawns. For a minute I tried imagining I lived here, that this was my neighborhood, and some afternoon I might run out to see my friends up at one of the other mansions.

If you go to Newport, you have to go on the Cliff Walk. This is on the east side of the peninsula. You turn off the Scenic Ocean Drive onto Bellevue Avenue. I'm pretty sure this is a famous street. Anyway, it would be incredible to walk down. Tree-lined, side-walked, huge-mansioned avenue. Well, at some point, when it feels right, or maybe when you see the sign for the Forty Steps, turn right AGAIN and cut straight back till you see open sky between the trees. Park somewhere along the street and walk down till you see the bay. The Forty Steps are a steep rock stairway down to a ledge overlooking the bay. I forget their significance. Or you can head off in either direction on the Cliff Walk - yes, it's a walkway along the "cliff", bay on one side and mansions on the other. So lovely. You can get your lungs very full of fresh, open-water air. And you may very well pass people talking in French or German or British English or some other language...

My goodness, this is sounding way too much like a tourist guidebook. Let's get back to the story.

It was now approaching 5 p.m. and someone was getting very decently worn out, and decided to start the hour's trek to Raynham and the hotel. First she had to get out of Newport. This was not easy. Tourist towns are never easy. And frankly, Eastern roads are royally difficult. I think I gave the Eastern drivers a couple of good surprises: "But how does she not realize that the left lane is allowed to become a turn-only lane with absolutely no warning? Don't they drive by sheer Road Instinct in other parts of the country?" Yes, it was very fun. Somehow, eventually, I escaped Newport.

I know I'm not the most brilliant with directions, but this time my sense of time and space got way off. Once back in Providence, I knew I had about 45 minutes to drive to Raynham. But by the time I thought I had navigated the first half of Mapquest directions and had 10 miles left, I was just leaving Providence. Mapquest told me about 10 times to take this or that slight turn onto this or that street... finally I realized this just meant "Stay on 44 East" and after that it was a piece of cake.

How lovely to reach the hotel and crash! The hotel was way too easy to find. Next thing to right off the highway.

I guess most hotel rooms have two beds, but I just could not believe it when I stepped into the room and realized this was all for me. Yikes. I was ecstatic to find that my room did, indeed, have an iron and an ironing board!

I went to scope out the neighborhood. WalMart was right across from the hotel. The DePuy facility was down the very same drive as the hotel and WalMart. This all sounds delightfully handy, except, here's the quaint part: this drive was divided. So the only way I could get to WalMart was to... well, to be honest, I no longer remember what convoluted turns and turn-arounds I had to do. I do recall that the very last day, when I returned to the hotel before heading out, I suddenly figured out how to do it, and wanted to beat the steering wheel and scream with laughter, or maybe hysteria. But, at least driving to DePuy in the morning would be easy.

Lights out on Part 2, as Sharon happily irons out her travel-wrinkled clothes for the big day tomorrow.

A Midwesterner in Massachusetts, Part 1

2010-03-28T17:00:00.009-04:00

First of all, that's how you spell Massachusetts.

Secondly, I promise I'll finish this story. But you know I can't sit down and type up the whole story at one sitting.... that's something a brilliant writer would do, not me.

Once upon a Friday, at work, they asked me how I felt about travelling. Duh... Would I like to take a business trip? Heck yes! However, I did try to talk them out of it. I didn't feel the trip was necessary. But no such success. There you go, Sharon , off to Raynham Massachusetts with you!

So, one week later, I went home on a Friday, to pack on a Saturday, and leave early Sunday morning. With business planned for Monday through Wednesday, I figured I could sightsee on Sunday without adding an extra hotel night.

Sunday morning, out the door at 5 a.m. I was scared stiff my car would break down on the way. Not because there was much chance, just because I couldn't help thinking about that slim chance. You know, for my brother's first flight, I drove him to the airport (4 hours into my 8-hour drive), except we developed a flat tire on the way and he barely walked into O'Hare as they were boarding his flight. Needless to say, it was a slight nightmare, one that sticks with you for future travels. But no such excitement this time. I reached the airport, only turned around twice before getting into the right parking lot, locked and left my car without even kissing it goodbye.

I ask you, is there anything more fun for a little blond girl, than hopping on a flight with your black coat and laptop bag, just like the businessmen. Which reminds me that I didn't see many businesswomen travelling. Actually, come to think of it -- none at all! What's up with that?

Fort Wayne to Detroit is barely a half-hour flight. No sooner are you settled in a horizontal flight pattern, than they're beeping at you to prepare for landing.

When we flew into Providence, Rhode Island, I was exhausted, awfully hungry and quite thirsty. But the first thing to do was pick up that rental car. I had told them I drive a Honda Civic and they said they had a comparable car, a mid-size. The rental guy points it out to me with some difficulty - it's that white one 4 cars down. WHAT??! What is this huge white space shuttle? So that's a Toyota Matrix, huh? So maybe it wasn't so huge, but felt like it after my no-frills Civic. Everything became all right when I turned the key in the ignition and felt it glide smoothly and silently under me, out of the lot... I suddenly thrilled and realized it was going to be an incredibly fun business trip.

Right out of the Providence airport, you jump onto Interstate 95 and head out of Providence. North takes you to Massachusetts and Boston. South takes you to New York... eventually... and Newport. I headed south because my Raynham colleagues had recommended Newport for a day's visit. All I knew about Newport was that it was supposed to be a scenic city out by the ocean, and home to some of those fantastically rich mansions.

Unfortunately, 95 got me out of town so fast that there was no place to get a drink or some food. These small trials are nothing to a dedicated traveler. Make the most of every moment, get on your road, and trust that you'll find something on the way, hopefully before you pass out. Also, it's easy to forget about food and drink when you're driving down a beautiful curvy highway on a sunny day and start seeing signs for all those towns you only read about in your early American history textbooks.

Beautiful huge bridges! I crossed one and started seeing signs for Jamestown. Then I saw there was a toll bridge on the road to Newport. Recalling that I had no cash on me (dumb), I delayed that problem and headed down the road to historic Jamestown. Very delightful to drive into town, past the harbor, along the quaint roads! Very delightful, but I finally realized that there was no back road to Newport, given that it was across the bay... the road to my planned Sunday sightseeing lay over that huge toll bridge.

Well, I thought, let's give it a try. Maybe it's not one of those ridiculously expensive Eastern tolls, and my $1.something will somehow be enough to get me across, and then I'm not sure how I'll get back but we'll figure that out later.

Well it was not cheap, it was $5, which I most certainly did not have, not even in quarters, and no, the lady said they didn't take credit cards. But she did tell me that since I had a rental, there was an automatic EZ-pass option which I could use, might just cost me a couple extra bucks when I returned the car. This was a timely surprise! I zipped on over the huge bridge over the bay to Newport.

First gas station I saw, stopped, got two bottles, water and Cappucino to stay alive.

After some twisty driving which left me a little perplexed regarding how the city planner had done his job... I finally ended up at the Visiting Center and found free parking and decided I'd be a regular tourist and ask what to see. There were lots of lovely streets and shops to stroll around and see, but let's face it, that's more fun with company than by oneself.

Never feel bad about asking questions, especially in a new town. I hit the jackpot - got a map, was told that having a car was perfect, was instructed how I could drive all around the edge of town jutting into the bay to see the scenic parts, and there would be places to get out and go down by the shore! Yippee!! For a Midwestern girl, one of the highest joys of a trip East is to see Water.

So I had a plan, water, caffeine, and now it was time to stroll around on a hunt for food. First I felt impelled to visit a tourist shop: Only in Rhode Island. I looked through a book with pictures of the Newport mansions. Yikes. First you feel awe, then you feel a sudden brief intense bent toward communism, then you wonder what kinds of people live in mansions like that, and does it change their personality or character or morals or worldview at all?

And that's all for today's storytelling.

Another Let's-pretend-we're-IT Night

2010-03-09T22:45:00.003-05:00

Ha ha ha ha! I figured it out all by myself. How to take a horizontal full-size picture and edit it to exactly the desired size for a blog profile photo, and all without leaving any annoying black, gray, or white stretches where it was "re-sized".

It's these little joys that make you fall asleep with a smile on your face!

About a screw or two

2010-01-24T19:55:00.004-05:00

I'd like to introduce a new acronym, by way of a brief boring story. The acronym is NVCAA, and it stands for Not Very Cute At All. Now, to illustrate this acronym's use... if there's one thing about my Civic that's just Not Very Cute At All, it would be the air filter screws. Here's the story.

My car needed a new air filter. So, one day when I finally remembered, I stopped by NAPA and picked up a nice dandy new one.

Now after my dad's demo, I knew that changing the air filter would be a piece of cake. Unfortunately, if you work during winter, there's usually not much light left outside work hours to do your car maintenance. So that's when you borrow a friend's handy lantern and handy screwdriver set, go out in the cold wind and pop your hood to do the job in the dark. By the way, this screwdriver is one of those one-size-fits-all - one "driver" with a nice selection of screw "heads" you can pop in, depending on what type you need. This is an important detail in the story, so please take note.

I got two screws nicely loosened, only to find that the third was, yes, nicely rusted and the screwhead rapidly losing its distinct insignia. So I screwed 'em all back down with rapidly numbing fingers.

At my dad's suggestion, next day after work I bought some WD-40. Yes, I did find it all by myself in WalMart, thanks for asking!

Enter Saturday. Sharon applies WD-40 before taking a walk. Returns from walk to happily set about unscrewing all three screws, including the third now de-rusted one, which doesn't take to the screwdriver well but cooperates with pliers.

Time to pull off the air filter, except, it doesn't pull off. Darkness is now descending. Thoroughly puzzled, I dash off to fetch the lantern and discover a fourth screw, and yep, this one is nicely rusted too. Dash off to fetch the WD-40. Apply liberally. Sigh. Remove all the tools, take a last look around to make sure I've got 'em all before dumping the hood. Oh wait! Maybe I should screw down the air filter again, since I'm obviously not going to get this done today. So I twist 'n screw down two of them. I reposition for the third, only to find that the eject-able Phillips screw head has quite disappeared, without even a clatter. I hunt around, no success. Find the next-sized Phillips and finish the job.

Sunday morning dawns very wet and muddy, and daylight does not reveal the missing screwdriver head. And so, I drove off to church, wondering if that piece of metal was sitting under my hood somewhere - if it would melt, or maybe get lodged in the engine and explode my car. Unlikely, but these are the things that keep me up at night and keep me alert on the road.

To be continued... But hopefully that's enough to illustrate why air filter screws are NVCAA.

How did it come to this?

2010-01-07T20:36:00.003-05:00

How did the world move on from blogging? That is, blogging in the sense of individuals blogging as a means of communicating to their family and friends.

The only ones who have survived are the entertaining writers, like my mother. Her blog will never die as long as the Internet lasts to host it!

And the only other ones are the stubborn ones, like me, who don't necessarily write anything worth keeping a blog for sharing, but who hang onto their blogs just the same, maybe because they're second-oldest children and they have that instinct to... umm... to be stubborn.

Facebook versus blogs. Humm. I refuse to say anything that people will shoot down with sniper fire. Facebook is a different landscape than blogging. It seems much more adapted to communication. You can post your immediate thought... you can ask a friend a question... you can invite people here or send them to read that... you can have the nearest thing to a live chat that isn't. A blog is more static. Where you think about what you want to say, you say as little or as much as you like, but regardless, you're making a post out of it, a post that will sit there for at least a day if not for weeks (that's for you blogging slackers) before it gets replaced by anything else. It doesn't zoom down a home page till it's buried beneath a kajillion other thoughts within two hours.

Well, I need to go do the dishes. Some things in life haven't changed hardly one degree in one hundred years.

Christmas Quotes - 2009 edition

2009-12-29T12:06:00.006-05:00

Just a few... more may well appear.

Nolan (sitting on the couch near Mommy and Sharon): "I like hanging out with old ladies."

Ethan: "We're the shortest people in the sta- ... country."

Carolyn (after falling prey to Jason's X-Pilot skill): "I made a snow effigy of Jason and thrust two spears through it and knocked off its head."

Mommy: "Now Trevor, don't wash the dishes that are in the frying pan. Just wash the rest of the dishes."
Trevor: "Okay, I'll put all the dishes in the frying pan."

Mommy: "If you guys are going to wear wrinkled clothing, I don't want to go out in public with you."
Four kids simultaneously gasp a horrified, betrayed response: "WHAT?!"

Carolyn: "Doth thou want to do that?"
Kendra: "Dost. That should be dost." [pronounces dahst]
Derek: "Dost! HA! HA! HA!" [slaps couch arm between each laugh]
Sharon: "Isn't it supposed to be 'dost'?" [pronounces dust]
Kendra: "Derek, don't laugh like that again, it's ridiculous."
Derek: "It's ridiculous, or it makes you feel ridiculous?"

Carolyn: "Half a penny for your thoughts."
Kendra: "I don't sell my thoughts."
Carolyn: "Well, that's all right, I'll take them for free. Or if you really want to tell me that much, you can pay me."

Five Things, for my mother

2009-12-20T21:04:00.004-05:00

Well, my darling mother tagged me in one of those "Pass around the fun till we all get dizzy and fall down" chain-blog things. I love my mother - that is, I have a proper fear of her power over Will status - so of course I'll do it. But I'll skip the tagging.

So... just look at the topic! This should be easy!

Five Things I Love:

1) Learning a new language

2) Listening to my brothers and sisters laugh at the movie we're watching

3) Driving on super snowy roads

4) Ironing

5) Eating grapefruit and artichokes (You have to do it first, to understand.)

Just the first five that popped into my head.

My Cousin and The Queen

2009-11-15T22:06:00.003-05:00

This is just to brag on my incredible cousin Chris, who is off studying music in England, and keeps bumping into famous people like the Queen.

Veteran's Day Service

He bows to the Queen right at 4:52.

Now, if the Queen were on Facebook, I think this....umm... interaction would entitle not only Chris to be her "friend", but also accord the same privilege to the rest of us.

But regardless of Facebook, I'm awfully proud of cousin and would think the Queen honored to meet him.

Does this look familiar?

2009-11-05T21:46:00.001-05:00

I wrote this down but I can't remember if I copied it from a book, or made it up?

In a galaxy far, far away, the French didn't have any wine. So they had to come up with something else. It turned out to be a bubbly chocolate drink.

Either way... I want some!

Twelve without trying

2009-10-12T21:50:00.003-04:00

Sometimes small simple blessings are what you need, and make such a lovely day.

A very productive ten hours of work.

Time to get home and take a whole hour-long walk before dark!

No deer dashing in front of me in the dusk!

Two very successful phone calls.

Our sink handle got fixed. I almost don't know what to do with myself anymore, not having to use the old broken one like a lever.

Corkscrews! They actually work!

Food at home, no cooking required.

Lovely cold fall weather.

Writing a long email in French.

French café music.

No dishes to do!!

And finally, very materialistic, but none the less delightful - the shocking realization that there's plenty of money.

God is good. I don't understand everything He does, but He is good.

Help me decide?

2009-09-13T14:22:00.004-04:00

I need some excitement in my life. Can y'all help me pick a new language to learn?

No pressure. You won't affect the serious projects of Chinese and Arabic. This one is just for fun. And there so many to pick from, it's very difficult to decide.

*Finnish
*Welsh
*Dutch
*Afrikaans
*some other African language (hmm, I don't know many by name... Swahili, Ffoldi, Bantu...?)
*Italian or Portuguese
*a native American language
*Sanskrit
*Hindi

I'll warn you that I'm leaning towards Welsh, but always open to suggestions.

Five-Sentence Stories with a Moral

2009-09-07T21:30:00.002-04:00

Once upon a time there lived a princess in a far-away land. Because the land was so very far away, the king knew it would take long enough for his daughter's Prince Charming to show up, let alone slay the dragon, and so he suggested to the princess that she take care of the dragon herself. She liked the idea very much and immediately befriended the dragon, built a home for it and visited it every day. Finally the prince arrived and slew the dragon - seeing as how he had not been informed to proceed otherwise. The distraught princess refused to marry the man who had slain her friend, which left her father with no heir to the throne, which upon the king's death did force the far-away land to become a republic.

Moral of the story: Be careful how you use idiomatic expressions.

One way to describe Stillwater, OK

2009-08-23T20:18:00.005-04:00

Background: Two weeks ago, Ardith and Justin and Jason and I went down to Oklahoma for our cousin Andrew's wedding.

====================================================

Stillwater is one of those cities on the Oklahoma plain that is surprisingly obscure till you get there, and then it is surprisingly full of surprises.

Travelers approaching from the north have first to cross the great Kansas prairie. It is land where there is nothing except for - nothing. The great disappearing stretches of fields, to eyes from the Northern farmlands at least, are mostly flat but not quite flat. In other words, not even remotely resembling the ideally gently rolling fields of Iowa.

Coming from the north as described above, the most frequently traveled route (otherwise known as the McDonald's-monopolized tollway) pretends it is passing west of Stillwater, before turning sharply due east, straight into town.

The western boundary of Stillwater is marked by the Blood Lake. It is a blue lake so tinted with red that it would almost look purple, if it did. Some say it took its name from the sacrifices made to the dragon of the lake. Others assert that this is but an old tale begun by the fantasy-minded and slightly inventive brother of certain travelers. These asserters declare that the red dirt of the Oklahoma plains is what gives the lake its reddish hue. And yet it must be asked how the Oklahoma dirt became red in the first place, a question which quite frankly suggests yet bloodier histories for Oklahoma.

On the east, Stillwater is bounded by a vegetable delivery point. After nightfall, the vegetables delivered must be particularly dried and of a particularly grassy or weedy origin. It is advisable not to use vegetable delivery points as places in which to turn around after dark, if you are a traveler fortunate enough to drive too far through town.

To the south of Stillwater lie nameless and unexplored lands. Rumor has it this area contains a terrible fatal triangle, within whose inexactly determined points and angles, all travelers disappear forever - hence none dare name or explore it. Rumor also has it, much less interestingly, that certain travelers from the north may just not yet have ventured south of town, hence the namelessness and inexploration.

In the town of Stillwater itself, there is a system of roads with intriguing names such as "Hall of Fame", "Duck Street" - a particularly great favorite, and most especially, the notorious "Mac------ Road". It is notorious for disappearing, especially by the magic of one fine cousin of certain travelers. By merely speaking its name within a list of directions, he has the power to wipe it off the face of the map. The counter-spell, naturally, being Google Maps.

So much for Stillwater and its surroundings. Now to see what adventures might befall our fine fair travelers, in this fine fair town... or perhaps more to the point, now to see if the fine fair traveler narrating their story can ever get around to finishing the story.

Back to writing

2009-08-11T21:26:00.002-04:00

Necessity may well be the mother of re-inventing the wheel. To save two particular eyes from excessive exposure to computer screens while composing the next blog post (not this one), I am back to the good old-fashioned method of composition. It's nearly been forgotten in our computer age. It's called writing. You know, manual writing. Using your hand to move a pen across paper.

Also, I hate to sound anti-technology, but I can't help wondering if writers that had to write instead of type were better writers for it. No copy, paste, insert, backspace. Sure, drafts can be scribbled out on paper; but then, what if your one sheet of paper is your ONE SHOT? Then you'd better get it right the first time - either know exactly how you're going to do it, or have a brilliant brain that assembles everything as you go.

Think Outside the Swingset Assembly Box

2009-08-02T07:53:00.003-04:00

I just want to say that it's a great honor to be a part of my family. What other family (most credit to my dad) has such splendid ideas as this:

1) Build a swingset with utility poles!
2) Build an enormous nifty scaffold and winching system to haul up each utility pole!

Here is the story of the first pole, all credit to my darling mother:

The Great Iowa Utility Pole Adventure

I'm sure everyone's seen it already on Mommy's blog, but I am putting it on my sidebar so it can be found and enjoyed later.)

What is France?

2009-07-31T18:32:00.002-04:00

I wonder at what age children become aware of the existence of other countries?

Occurred to me when, while looking at a sketch of Paris, I was joined by a three-year-old. I told him it was a picture of France, which is another country. I'm pretty sure he did not entirely grasp the concept.

"Fuzzy" studies indeed!

2009-07-27T19:56:00.002-04:00

Much as I hate to ever pick on people, I really think this outrage calls for a post.

It was a great weekend with Ardith and some of her LeTourneau pals - and Justin, of course. However, most of them had majored in a nice hard B.S., even my little brother. And we all know - at least, Mr. Vengeful Cynic knows - that everything besides a B.S. is "fuzzy".

Well, I beg to differ. Some of the humanities may be fuzzy, but foreign languages definitely are not. I mean to prove they should be ranked along with math and science. In fact, I'm really shocked that Spanish or Russian or Chinese (especially Chinese...) would not be a B.S.

But plunging into that really calls for a good night's sleep.

Some 1700 miles later...

2009-07-06T20:24:00.002-04:00

... back home.

Seeing as it's 8:30 PM, let's leave any detailed trip accounts for the future, except for the following couple points which I would like to make:

1) South Carolina wins the award for Most Unnavigable State. Particularly since their street names - when posted - are frequently found in small letters on a little post at the opposite side of the six-lane road from you.

2) It's great fun to have friends with whom everyday chatting can be defined as "discussing theological, hermenutical, or philosophical issues".

The tale....

2009-06-27T13:44:00.010-04:00

Nobody has to read this... you'll probably be bored to tears.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It all begins on a Sunday drive home from church, the third time passing a particularly pungent piece of roadkill. Sharon comments to Stacey, "You know, skunks don't really smell that bad. They smell kind of sweet, actually."

Stacey just rolls her eyes and laughs and mentally notes reason #53 on her list 'Why my housemate is Weird.'

*~*~*

One peaceful June evening, when Sharon was getting ready for bed and Stacey was out taking in the evening air...

Sharon's windows happen to look out over the south lawn, and she happened to look out them. And she stopped to watch something galumphing like a little black cheetah along the lawn. It was a decent distance from the house and definitely traveling parallel to it, but it also had definite white blurs on it... Sharon felt it would be prudent to go out and warn Stacey.

Goes out, looks around ...

"What are you looking for, Sharon?"

"Well, I thought I saw a skunk..."

Stacey suddenly grabs Sharon and yanks her toward the door. "Aaauugh! It's running right at us!"

Once safely inside the screen door, they peer out to see nothing... Stacey is kind of bummed, as she wanted to get a picture, and soon afterward goes scouting out with her camera. Sharon is kind of bummed, as the close brush with adventure has so rapidly passed; but she doesn't feel any personal need for documentary footage. The photographer successfully gets a couple distant shots of something skunky skulking in the woods near their back porch.

*~*~*

Days go by. There is little sign of a skunk, except for one late-night sighting under a visitor's car. Sharon unluckily comments that she is curious to know what it feels like to get sprayed, and immediately gets a good chewing out for "wanting to get sprayed". A conclusion that deeply pains her linguistic sensitivities, as that is not what she said at all.

*~*~*

It's Sunday again. The girls are coming home from church, walking along the chicken coop to their stoop and door at the back. As they round the corner, Sharon asks Stacey something, and starts getting annoyed when Stacey comes up with an out-of-the-blue, totally irrelevant response. Until it suddenly registers as very extremely relevant.

"A skunk and two babies just went under our porch!"

Keep those Sunday heels from clomping, quietly unlock the door and whisk it open - and tumble inside gasping and laughing from panic! That's what you should do when you have to walk right over skunks.

Well, since having skunks under the porch was looking extremely impractical for everyday exits and entrances, Sharon immediately hunted for a likely window - the one farthest from the door, of course, perfect - and whipped out the screen to create an instant escape route.

Between smart people who used the window, and hapless guests or disinclined individuals who didn't, no one managed to get sprayed.

*~*~*

The next morning... Sharon wakes up to the beautiful 5 a.m. dimness, fresh morning air breezing through her windows. She turns off the alarm, stands up to stretch, ... stands ... stands ... oh my goodness. She's not moving. Did she stop breathing? Or is she breathing harder? Something's terribly wrong.

Come to think of it, maybe it's that thick musky odor floating in through the window...

There are really no words to describe such a scent. Even if there were, who would really want to think of them? You would try not to breathe it, then find yourself inhaling deeply as you tried to verify that it really wasn't that bad and wouldn't make you keel over and die... Then there was the problem of where exactly it was coming from, and how to effectively block any further vapors - besides all the ones undoubtedly seeping through the walls. After scouting out the hall and the rest of the house, Sharon finally concluded that the skunk must have sprayed directly outside her bedroom windows. The only thing she could really do was close her windows to keep more out, close her door to keep it out of the rest of the house, and get busy with fans and Glade.

She was terribly scared that the Smell had stuck to her (and of all the friends and co-workers she might scare off), as she kept hitting unnerving pockets of it here and there. ... even in her car on the way to work. (To get to her car, she definitely exited by way of the window... wild spiders could not have chased her to the door.) But it seemed to vaporize away, except she had never tried so hard to not open her purse or to not even look at it, all day.

*~*~*

At lunchtime, after calls to the landlady and several discussions with the Sherriff's office, she happened upon a helpful guy from the nearest Critter Control, an hour away.

"Do you handle skunks?" (biting her lip for the "anything, but not skunks" reply)

"Well - I try not to... " (deep disappointment gushes up!)

"... I try to just trap them, not actually handle them." (insert much-needed laughter)

It was going to run $170 just for a visit, but Mr. C.C. asked if the smell was really bad. Well yes, it was really pretty awful. Well, he said, skunks don't like the smell themselves, so more than likely if the mom sprayed right near her own home, she would move the babies somewhere else.

Here was some encouraging news! Except Sharon still felt remarkably disinclined to go home. But there are things in life that must be faced, even skunky rooms.

*~*~*

She went home to a nearly de-scented house - inexplicably but miraculously. Stacey seemed to be alive and well. Sharon found she could even sit at her computer - in her room - and work. It was like waking up from a coma to a whole new, sunshiny world.

*~*~*

Moving on did take time. There were still whiffs of skunk around the porch, around the corner of the house. There were also far too many skunk jokes floating around. People wondering what skunk meat tasted like, or asking Sharon if that skunk photo was one of her friends, or subjecting her to interchanges like the following one online:

Sharon: (by 8:30 PM) I'm going to bed at 9:30!
Friend: (by 9:15) Aww, don't you want to go outside and chase some skunks?
Sharon: (at 9:38) There will be NO skunk jokes! Understood??
Friend: (at 9:41) Young lady, it's 9:41. Shouldn't you be in bed?

*~*~*

It's a weekday afternoon. Sharon is driving home from work. She passes some roadkill.

She sniffs, groans, gags, and turns away.

(Turns to the road, not off it, mother.)

The scent of a good tale...

2009-06-22T21:59:00.002-04:00

Ha ha ha! Bet you didn't know I was into puns. Especially once you know that this tale will be about skunks.

Well, I'm not into puns, just threw that one up to laugh at.

So do you want to hear my skunk story? The w-h-o-l-e story? Nobody's heard the whole story yet. (Nope, it doesn't end with "Sharon gets sprayed!", stop getting so excited.)

What is a Linguistic Detective?

2009-06-03T20:59:00.002-04:00

A Linguistic Detective is a fancy name I just made up for a Translator.

Because, you see, translation is not at all about how much of the mystery you know. It's about how good you are at finding clues and using them to solve the mystery.

That is... it's not about how much vocabulary you know. It's about figuring out ways to find the the vocabulary you need, and especially, it's about making sure the vocabulary is the right lingo for whatever topic you're translating - so that you solve the mystery correctly.

Well, enough of that, just wanted you to know I'm having heaps of fun!

I hate spring

2009-06-01T22:19:00.003-04:00

I don't know if I can sleep tonight... In the past 24 hours, I have thrown (literally, with my bare hands) 4 spiders off the premises - at least, off the indoors premises.

There are all kinds of spiders in the world of languages ---

The French spider is quite elegantly long-legged:

araignée (ah-re-nyay)

The German spider is as close as you can get to a cute little round one:

Spinne (shpin-nuh)

And the Spanish spider just sounds like a mean attack spider:

araña (ah-rah-nyuh)

I do hope that none of those spontaneous impressions came across as linguistically discriminatory.

The long winding road to Translation

2009-05-28T05:17:00.005-04:00

Well well well, this poor blog has been neglected long enough.

In the interest of pointing my blog back toward its name, I thought I would share with you how my career in translation has taken off clear into space.

Actually, in all seriousness, I would like to encourage anyone out there who picked up an extra language or two, and wants to use it, just not necessarily as a UN interpreter or a Spanish teacher. Knowing a foreign language is one of those soft fuzzy skills that, once people find out you have it, they say, "You speak -----? That's cool!" And then they seem to forget about it. But don't worry, they haven't forgotten. You just have to Wait.

For the longest time at DePuy, there was No Hint of anyone wanting anything concerning French, German, Spanish.

One day, I was having lunch with some friends at work. We happened to start discussing our educational backgrounds, and they found out my degree was in foreign languages.

Another seven or eight months... at least... are you asking me to actually remember spans of time between momentous events?

One of those lunch friends called me up to ask me to translate "or" into French, for a document. That was short and sweet.

Another five-ish months...

The friend called me up again to see if I would be interested in helping translate some material for a company website into French? Having it reviewed afterward by an overseas contact fluent in French, of course.

Another couple months...

Before we actually got that that project started, the friend asked if I would translate a one-page email announcement going out to several company sites around the world?

The overseas contact liked my work! Of course, the translation needed a little tweaking.

Now starting on the website material, I feel it's safe to say: Sometimes you just have to wait. And keep your eyes open for what God will suddenly drop smack in your road!

Long Blonde Life, from 3 May 2009

2009-05-07T22:47:00.002-04:00

Don't try this at home: show your younger sister how to use the headlights on the new car in broad daylight - or you may forget, leave them on, and you know what'll happen when she tries to start the car the next day, which happens to be Sunday, when she needs to drive herself to church...

On the other hand, this is a great way to do a clean re-charge of the car battery.

Biggest announcement of all time!!!

2009-05-03T13:24:00.003-04:00

My family hardly ever calls me. If they do, it is because:

1) They have big plans for me (to accomplish for them)
2) They have super-big news to share

So when Daddy called to see if I was free on Saturday, I knew I'd be doing something... yes! Pick up Jason's new car which just happened to be in Indiana!

When Ardith called me last night... first I didn't recognize the area code, because people from Cedar Rapids just never call me. When she told me who she was, I was ticked pink and immediately keyed up for something - whatever could be momentous enough to call me for...

Pretty much just the most radical news ever for the Hoyt Family! The first child is engaged!

Really

2009-05-01T23:03:00.002-04:00

While I was checking my junk mail account on Yahoo, this news headline caught my eye:

"Swine flu not as potent as first feared"

That's English, but I think it should still be translated into behind-the-scenes Media:

"Shoot! We can't keep pushing breaking news about a mutating virus that will explode into a worldwide epidemic, after all."

Long Blonde Life, 20 April 2009

2009-04-24T05:42:00.004-04:00

Since not all my hundreds of blog readers are on Facebook, and since no one seriously reads everything their "friends" post on Facebook anyway...

If you think a cheesecake takes a long time to bake, try baking it at 225 F. instead of 325 F.

But try not to try this an hour before you want to go to bed.

Pretending to be an IT Whiz

2009-04-19T21:13:00.003-04:00

Hurray!! Stacey's Internet is working again. All it took was an IP re-set (configuration back to automatic) and a system re-start.

Now I can't really take credit for it, as the success results from the following:

A) What Daddy taught me and working backward from that
B) Stacey's computer needing a very long siesta

That said, IT work is fun. Seems to me like it is usually either tricking the computer into doing what you want, or force it to do what you want.

A good example of the latter is one of the times my work computer went to the blue screen for Dumping Physical Memory, refused to respond to any reasonable tactics, and was promptly unplugged. That worked. At least it worked for a week, I think.

Then I did have to get a "real" IT person in to run diagnostics and handle the scientifically medical end of fixing computers.

The Great Showdown

2009-04-11T21:01:00.003-04:00

Betcha didn't know a TV show review could be preparation for Easter Sunday, did you?

Well, I didn't either, till five minutes ago when I finished an episode of Bonanza titled "Showdown". Sorry to spoil it for anyone, but to make the point I really have to run through the whole story:

A gang just robbed a bank in Virginia City, where the Cartwrights live. The gang leader sends one of his guys to the Cartwright ranch (the Ponderosa) to become a hired hand and pick up what news he can, while the rest of the gang lies low. So Sam heads off, gets hired, gets suspected by Little Joe but no one else, finds out the Army is coming in to look for the gang, and goes back to his boss to report this.

Little Joe happens to be following him and gets caught. The boss sends Sam back to the Ponderosa to find out from which direction the Army will be coming. Little does he know the sheriff is waiting at the Ponderosa for him. He has found out about Sam's prison record (true) and wants to take him in. Ben Cartwright says that's no valid charge and Sam will stay at the ranch with them, sheriff leaves. Sam, however, does not thank the Cartwrights, instead he clears out, clubbing Adam over the head when Adam starts talking to him.

Sam gets back to his boss, finds him beating Little Joe, manages to save little Joe by suggesting an alternate plan and then he and Joe gang up to beat the gang. Little Joe promises Sam he has friends now. Meanwhile, Ben, Adam, and Hoss are coming after Sam with a bunch of men, having decided they were wrong about Sam and looking for Little Joe. They see Little Joe coming in the distance, and Sam with him, and one of them says, "I guess we were all wrong about Sam". Show ends.

I don't know about you, but I can imagine two untold scenarios:

1) Sam goes on to work for the Ponderosa and no one ever finds out he was part of the gang
2) They find out he was part of the gang but he gets off because he helped bring in the gang

But regardless of what happens to Sam, what strikes me is how the Cartwrights deal with him. Most of them trust him, despite knowing nothing about him. Little Joe doesn't trust him, but once Sam starts fighting on the right side, he's his friend. But why does Sam start fighting on the right side? Because the Cartwrights are good people and do good to him, even when others are suspecting him. They DON'T know that he's with the gang, but they are good, so they believe in him.

Similarly and yet powerfully opposite, we can now be on the right side. Why? Because God is a good God and did good to us, even when we were His enemies. He KNEW we were His enemies, but He is so good that He wasn't just willing to "give us a chance" to prove ourselves to Him - He knew we couldn't do it, so He gave us the chance, at His own expense. His goodness and love are overwhelming.

Don't read this, look 2 posts down

2009-04-08T05:32:00.001-04:00

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 3 is up, below... That's what you get when you start one post and publish another one later!

It's going to be a long, blonde life

2009-03-27T23:43:00.003-04:00

Well, since none of my siblings are posting, I guess the torch is left to the one who probably shouldn't even be allowed to have a blog, let alone write for it...

Today is Saturday, which means yesterday was Friday. Kendra and I spent Friday evening exploring the trails which lie between her dorm and my chicken coop. Then I had a brilliant idea. I had coupons for Dairy Queen that would expire March 31, and Dairy Queen was nearby. Why not use them before they expired?

After some debate, we finally settled on using the one that would get us a wrap and a blizzard. Let's clarify how the coupon worked. If we bought a blizzard, we got a free wrap.

So we got up to the checkout, placed our orders, and the girl asks, "What size blizzard?" Kendra is about to opt for a small. I think, Wait - why not get the most possible? "Kendra, do you want a large? Can we get a large with the coupon, ma'am?" The girl looks at the coupon and informs us that it doesn't specify a size, so yes, we could get whatever we wanted. So I voted for a large. Kendra was rather overwhelmed at my generosity - if you can picture Kendra being overwhelmed.

We got out to the car and she asked me why I had paid for a large blizzard? I said I was just trying to get the most possible off the coupon. Then I thought about it.

What can I say. Nope, nothing. Let's just say goodnight there. and hope someone's learned her lesson from that one.

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 3

2009-03-22T13:51:00.006-04:00

Here is Installment 3. Yes, she knows. Sharon... is... slow. Go ahead and say it (or type it) to her face, she won't be too awfully immensely hurt.

================================================================

It was still the same day. The team had just landed in Guatemala. Three buses were waiting for them... one for luggage (mostly), two for people (mostly). Off for the mission house. Along the way they took in the Guatemala sights of hot-pastel colored buildings and infamous desperado chicken buses - which will pop into this story again at future unnerving intervals.

The mission house lay at the end of many one-way, steeply inclined, narrow streets in San Lucas. When they arrived, it felt like 7 p.m. and their bags were promptly dumped and they were ushered into a big room with the places already set and served what they supposed was supper... Afterward, during announcements, they were given their freedom for several hours till supper (Oh my goodness - do we have to eat again, so soon?) and strict orders about the type of relationship allowed with the tap water. Basically, it was a total mouth-off relationship, aguatically speaking: no drinking, no inhaling, no brushing your teeth with it, unless you wanted to go on medication the rest of the trip.

After this, many people went off to brush their teeth, including our heroine, who promptly had people screaming in her face "NO! NO! Don't use the water!!" as she rinsed out her mouth... time to trot off for some Cipro.

At this point, most of the team was ready to just settle down and relax after the long day of traveling. One person was, however, very antsy after being cooped up on planes all day - despite enjoying them immensely - and somehow she persuaded some other young folks to go on a walk. It started out as a group of 3 girls, who were informed they had to take along big, tough guys. So they collected people and walked down from the mission house into San Lucas. Their friend Sam excited their appetites by pointing out a dead smashed cat by the roadside as their future supper. Down in the middle of the town, they found a little round structure with a deck for the second floor. There were lots of kids playing around this and on the soccer court, and some of the team members instantly made dozens of friends by pulling out digital cameras and taking pictures with the kids left and right.

They got back about dark, to find people huddled in coats and blankets complaining about the 40-degree cold, and a sumptious supper awaiting them. Right after supper the 4 teams were listed off - 2 medical, 2 VBS, one of each on each bus, to go to separate locations each day. But for Saturday morning they would all be together in San Lucas.

And after all of this excitement, and that excitement, after translators and friends of the team showed up to visit, at some point they all fell into bed and slept hard.

The End of Day 1!

Commentary

2009-03-14T10:47:00.002-04:00

This is not to be funny, or to poke fun, or to be cute, or to be blonde just for kicks. Honestly. This is what might go through someone's mind if they knew quite a bit about current and historical events, but not excessively much... and happened upon this article below, that has such an interesting sequence of reporting.

News article from the Guardian that was on Drudge Report yesterday. Non-copyrighted commentary is in italics between asterisks.

================================================================

To see this story with its related links on the guardian.co.uk site, go to http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/mar/13/north-korea-japan-nuclear-missile

Japan warns it may shoot down North Korean satellite launcher
Justin McCurry in Tokyo
Friday March 13 2009
guardian.co.uk

Japan today threatened to shoot down a satellite that North Korea plans to launch early next month if it shows any signs of striking its territory.

*Oh my goodness. North Korea's launching a missile and Japan's jumping to shoot it down?*

Tokyo's warning that it would deploy its multibillion-dollar missile defence system raised tensions in the region after North Korea said that it had identified a potential "danger area" near Japanese territory along the rocket's flight path.

*Grand, grand, grand... so North Koreas is saying, "We're launching this missile and it might hit you guys in Japan, just giving you a heads up."*

The regime told the International Maritime Organisation that the missile would be launched during daylight between 4 and 8 April, and that its boosters would fall into the Sea of Japan ? about 75 miles (120km) from Japan's north-west coast ? and the Pacific Ocean.

*Well, that was smart of them to plan a missile launch that could drop things near Japan.*

Officials in Tokyo said they reserved the right to destroy any threatening object in mid-flight, despite North Korean warnings that it would consider such a move an act of war.

*Here we go... Japan: "You launch something and we are shooting it down. This is definitely a threat." North Korea: "You shoot at our missile, that means WAR!"*

"Under our law, we can intercept any object if it is falling towards Japan, including any attacks on Japan, for our security," Takeo Kawamura, the chief cabinet secretary, told reporters.

*Oh... Japan is being pretty rational, not to mention expressing itself pretty clearly... Japan: "If you launch something that heads our way, we're intercepting. And yes, we're still intercepting even if you're just doing an all-out attack."*

Despite repeated assurances from Pyongyang that the rocket is a vital part of North Korea's space programme, other countries in the region suspect the hardware is a Taepodong-2 ballistic missile.

*Neighbors: "Space, my foot. It's a ballistic."*

South Korean intelligence has reported a build-up of activity in recent days near the missile's launch pad at Musudan-ri base on its neighbour's north-east coast.

*(imagines South Korean intelligence center with those hospital heart monitor screens on all of North Korea's bases. All show undulating relaxed patterns below the line "Normal" - , except the one for the Musudan-ri base where there are violent peaks above the line "Build-up" - )*

Any missile launch, even one intended to put a satellite into orbit, would represent a snub to the US administration, which has repeatedly invited the communist state to return to negotiations over its nuclear weapons programme.

*Oh wait, this is a SATELLITE and not a missile? Why does this remind me of two kids poking each other?*

Last month the US secretary of state, Hillary Clinton, urged the north to cancel the launch, which US officials say would be in violation of a 2006 UN security council resolution.

*I didn't know that... so the UN said "No launches, period", including satellites.*

The South Korean foreign ministry said in a statement: "If North Korea goes ahead with the launch, we believe there will be discussions and a response by the security council on the violation of the resolution."

*South Korea: "If North Korea launches something that could hit something, the U.N. Security Council will probably hold a meeting."*

The UN secretary-general, Ban Ki-moon, said a missile or satellite launch would "threaten the peace and stability in the region."

*I would say that the pre-launch talk and assumptions have already generously threatened the peace and stability in the region.*

After Japan's transport ministry ordered airlines and shipping companies operating in the area to take precautionary measures, Japan Airlines and All Nippon Airways said they would alter flight paths on several European and other routes.

* All Nippon Airways = All Japan Airways... US Airways... hee hee!*

Speculation has been mounting for weeks that North Korea was about to put its hitherto unreliable missile technology to the test. The regime suffered a setback in 2006 when a Taepodong-2 missile ? theoretically capable of reaching Alaska ? blew up moments into its flight.

*Wow, so the technical danger is at least as great as the political danger, and probably the same thing for a lot of people.*

Japan has intensified efforts to protect itself against conventional missile attacks since 1998, when the north test-launched a long-range rocket over its territory without warning.

*So there is a history. This chapter looks like an improvement. North Korea is actually warning you, Japan.*

In response, Japan and the US have jointly developed a ballistic missile defence system that includes interceptor missiles on board ships and Patriot missiles dotted around Tokyo.

*That's probably why North Korea is warning Japan. I had no idea the U.S. was in this too...*

But experts believe that a rocket capable of launching a satellite into orbit may be too high to intercept.

*Science: "Guys, seriously. This may well go out of sight, out of mind."

Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited 2009

=================================================================

Closing commentary: From the commentator's viewpoint, in this imperfect world, interactions between nations look a lot like interactions between individuals, only to the nth power, where n = average number of influential individuals involved on each particular nation's "side".

Spring, spring, spring-ing ahead

2009-03-07T21:04:00.003-05:00

No, this is not an exciting post that you will want to read.

Just wanted to assure everyone that Sharon is still alive over here. And plans to continue the Guatemala story shortly.

And the coughing has subsided almost entirely.

Twice now I have felt a very strong urge to remind everyone to set their clocks back an hour. How about you not listen to me for Daylight Savings time reminders.

It's raining outside. It's a beautiful drippy evening. And so I think this is the perfect time to share a favorite excerpt from a favorite book - Nightwatch, by Terry Pratchett.

===================================================

The main character is standing in the police department and hears a song, by a group of trolls passing by outside.

Somehow, you could tell it was made up by a troll:

"Now we sing dis stupid song!
Sing it as we run along!
Why we sing it we don't know!
We can't make der words rhyme prop'ly!"
"Sound off!"
"One! Two!"
"Sound off!"
"Many! Lots!"
"Sound off!"
"Er... what?"

=======================================================

So I hope it's understood that I'm posting this Saturday night, to be read on Monday, not Sunday. Just so no one gets on me for irreverency.

Ardith should get a prize, as it happened to be her copy of the book I was reading in bed, and dropped, because of uncontrollable laughter.

Seeking counsel from coughing experts

2009-02-27T05:19:00.002-05:00

I'm glad to be coughing... you know, bronchitis or whatever is much better than an actual miserable cold.

But is there some correct way to cough that doesn't:

A) make you gag
B) give you a severe headache in the top back peak of your head

Better yet, can you pull the whole "mind-over-matter" trick and just not cough? I'm sure my head, abdomen, and colleagues would be eternally grateful to you (although the lungs might not be...)

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 2

2009-02-23T20:34:00.002-05:00

Well, there they were... 12 of the 14 Warsaw team members, on the plane for Miami.

Sharon was so happy to be waiting for takeoff, after a 2-year break from flying. And she had the privilege of sitting next to Brittnee for her first flight! See the photo below. And you thought Sharon didn't take any pictures on the trip. Hah!

After some vigorous gum chewing, the plane settled down into peaceful quiet, with the Warsaw percentage dozing off... quiet, except for the loud snoring of a certain doctor, which was on purpose to keep poor Amanda "Demanda" awake.

(Sorry, no one is getting mercy in this story. Please note that names within quotes are the Spanish pet names picked up at some point during the trip.)

They were landing in Miami. What perfect squares the city was laid out in, and yes, decorated with really-truly palm trees! And off through security again, whipping off coat, sweater, shoes, scarf, yanking them back on... and on, following the direction that the sea-shells gilded onto the floor pointed, on to find the next gate. Till they were helpfully accosted and accompanied by Danny from Delaware. Oh, the hugs that ensued on meeting up with the Delawarians... at least, for the old-timers. And oh, the happy waiting for the next flight, the time whiled away with sushi, orange juice, and Danny's infamous jelly beans.

You would not believe how quick it is to get from Miami to Guatemala City. One minute you are filling out the customs papers handed out first thing by the stewardess, and the next you see the beautiful mountains of Guatemala circling up to meet you.

This is not yet the end of the Longest Day Ever, which began at 1 AM. But it is after 9 PM and high time for someone to go to bed and get more of that wonderful sleep that you can see she got on the plane.

To be continued...

Guatemala - Day 1, Part 1

2009-02-18T21:29:00.005-05:00

1:15 AM - - the alarm clock goes off. Time to get uncurled from that chair, grab those bags, and get out in that car. Time to go to Guatemala!

It's an eerie 10-minute drive to meet the rest of the Warsaw Team at Dr. Gary's clinic. Sharon is plenty early... unfortunately but ironically, once the van and trailer arrive to load up, she discovers that she has not forgotten her passport... no, she left it back at the house on purpose because she was convinced someone else had it.

"If I don't get back in time, just go without me," she says and trots off to her car. Back to the house at a very efficient speed, trying to imagine how she'll ever live this down if the team has to leave her behind...

But don't bother feeling for her now, because it is about to get much, much worse. Passport securely in purse and almost back to the clinic, Sharon slows way down for the intersection with the blinking red light, doesn't quite stop before she turns right past that police car pulling up. <Bam> it whips around with its lights.

Okay friends, it is now high time to be sick at heart, especially while we wait for the officer to finish chatting with a passerby. But God in His goodness lets the officer skip over that old registration Sharon yanks out of the glove department. 10 minutes later, she is free.

What suspense to approach the clinic parking lot... yes! The van is sitting there, waiting!

2.5 hours later, the team safely arrives at O'Hare, despite everyone breathing and fogging up the windows. They get almost all their passports scanned in when an airport deadline suddenly slams down. Off runs most of the team, shoving baggage and medicine totes as they go - off to run through security and run to the gate and get soundly berated by the ticket lady for not being early. Somewhere behind them are Tim and Aaron, trying to catch another flight.

To be continued...

Anakin, we love you... despite yourself

2009-02-04T20:37:00.003-05:00

I had a first thought for this post, but on second thought... how about saving that first thought for tomorrow.

Let's go to a third one, which is really a lot older and should get priority anyway.

[Commercial - reminded to post this by reading the fabulous story my brother Jason is telling us over on his blog. So far it appears to be a space drama that he's making up each night as he types, albeit with considerable unexpected twists, such as sudden group deaths.]

The other night I was watching cable TV. You know, since we have it. Actually, this time I had decided to skip my cable TV and go over to a friend's house so I could multitask - watch cable TV and walk on the treadmill.

I was flipping through the dizzying array of channel choices, when there it was. The Phantom Menace! I think. Let me see, what are the titles of the other two last-but-first-but-definitely-last ones... oh never mind. Anyway, I was mildly ecstatic for about 10 seconds, till the intro had rolled off into space and suddenly there was a distinctively animated creature. Yes, down in the bottom right-hand corner was some Toon Network logo.

Out of sheer curiosity, I stuck around for a couple minutes and ended up watching enough to get these fine lines. Don't they just bring back all the glory of Star Wars?

We've been betrayed.

I don't want to kill you...

Anakin, you must learn to control your insults.

By the way, you shouldn't pay too much attention to my blog post titles because frankly, some of them are just to get attention.

Pictures, maybe

2009-01-29T21:38:00.001-05:00

Testing 1-2-3...

Ice Storm!

[Update] Make that "Pictures, definitely"

(December 2008)

We working women

2009-01-21T22:00:00.002-05:00

My word, housework takes a long time. Is that why I do it only twice a week, or is that because I only do it twice a week? Or is it a vicious cycle that's going to accelerate exponentially till it collapses in on me? And on whom can we blame all this?

If you're bored on a Sunday

2009-01-19T21:37:00.002-05:00

Being tired is so tiring.

Well, it is completely my fault for volunteering at 3 p.m. on Sunday to meet halfway to pick up Kendra. Any way you look at it, halfway is still 8 hours for each party. Add in lots of black ice on one side and super good roads on the other, and you have each party traveling at least 10 hours.

(Mommy, I hereby accept full responsibility. You can even kick me out of the will if you want.)

So from 4 p.m. to 2 a.m., it was quite a Sunday afternoon drive. And a great adventure! And definitely worth it to have Kendra safely here and ready to start classes tomorrow. And to see Daddy and Ethan for about 2 minutes. And almost worth it... yes, I think almost worth it to feel this ready for bed!!

Can I do this?

2009-01-15T18:04:00.002-05:00

"Yes?"

"The bill was $2200 and I paid $4000. How can that not be paying it in full?"

"Well, when is the new company going to take over? Because you guys are doing an awful job. Is there someone I can call and complain to?"

"And your name?"

"Okay, you all could stand to work on your customer service as well, because your attitude really stinks. Bye."

*~*~*~*~*

I'm just wondering. Can I say this and be Christ-like? (In a nicer tone, of course.)

Where exactly does "turn the other cheek" come in? My first instinct is to say, "That's for when I am being persecuted for my faith." But the context in Matthew 5:38-42 seems to be anyone taking advantage of you or being mean to you.

Put it back in the business world. As my friend points out, if you never "complained" to the manager, the disagreeable person could go on being disagreeable and making things worse for the company. Now I think if there is any room to "complain", it should be for the employee's sake just as much the company, or the manager, or the general public, or myself, or anyone.

Looking forward to having everyone respond and answer this for me. So nice of you.

Wheee, here we go!

2009-01-12T21:43:00.004-05:00

Quick, let's see how much more I can say before anyone realizes there are new posts on this blog...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My car suddenly showed up with low oil, so I checked it today before leaving work. The parking lot at work is a nice flat place. The lady pulling out just in front of me stops, rolls out her window and asks, "Are you all right?"

I was kind of expecting that, as should all little blond girls who stand before their popped hoods. So I responded politely, "Of course. I'm just checking my oil, like all the other smart people who check their oil after work. That way the car is level and the engine has cooled down for a while." Or, I guess I may have stopped after the "checking my oil" part.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Everyone is talking about all the snow we are going to get. Some say 6 inches. Some say 3. I almost want to chime in with my colleague from Minnesota, "Snow? What snow?" I hope we do get a good dump sometime soon. We were kind of spoiled last year, getting snowed in twice before Christmas.

"Which brings up the question," says someone else, as we are discussing all the snow that's coming, "why do humans live so far north?" Because some of us are tough and you aren't, I guess.

I don't necessarily live for the cold either, but goodness gracious sakes, let's at least enjoy it - brag about how hardy we Northerners are, or take it on as an exciting adventure. Hunkering down is all very well, but I find that just makes you feel colder.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Once upon a time there was a girl who got a car, got herself auto insurance, and set up automatic monthly payments. No thinking required.

This begins around April. Come December, she suddenly recalls that she agreed to a 6-month plan and it has probably expired by now, no matter how you count months. She gasps as she finds her insurance card with an expiry date in October, then hunts and hunts through her mail for an expiration notice that never shows up. Poor girl, she is starting to feel anxious, and - worse yet - stupid. (Save your tears because there is a whole lot more stupidity coming.) Now she is pretty sure she cannot legally drive, at the worst possible time of the year, when she loves offering rides to one and all over the snow and ice in her car with the fantastic snow tires. Oh, it hurts. And even stingier on this Saturday morning is the thought of leaving for home on Tuesday!

Now, she could have just check her bank account online to see if they had debited her payment again that month, but no, if she had thought of it, it probably would have proved nothing.

Well, she manages to bum rides off others till Monday morning, when she risks driving herself to work. The memories of lights and sirens during her two recent escapades with the police keep floating through her mind. (I don't care about the punctuation or clauses, just read the story.)

First thing on lunch break, she runs out to make a call on her cell phone. Yep, it's to the insurance agent. As he looks up her account, she tries to imagine how many days they could drag out a policy renewal, and what she will do about getting home..."

"Oh, you're fine. The policy just gets automatically renewed if you don't tell us otherwise."

Oh! She's fine! And she could just - do something really awful, maybe even to someone, for having gone through all that stress for nothing ... except that once she sees the joke on her, it's really too funny to not laugh all the way back in.

But that story is no excuse for "dumb blonde" jokes. It's not "dumbness", folks. It's a relatively rare, violent attack of stupidity.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

This post would not have been possible, were it not for siblings like Ardith and Jason, and quite possibly some parental genes as well.

After Christmas

2009-01-10T09:28:00.003-05:00

2,800 miles later... back in Warsaw!

(And really, 5 days ago)

We are (read: I have talked Stacey into) leaving our Christmas decorations up as long into January as possible. The Christmas tree can stay up as long as at least 70% of it is not on the ground. I know it's already after the technical date of Epiphany, but if our holidays are symbolic anyway... if we celebrate Christ's birth on December 25th, it's really more effective to wait at least a month for the Magi to arrive. Besides, Stacey just got a beautiful nativity scene plus the Magi, as a Christmas present. I think it would be a complete lack of courtesy to immediately pack it away till next Christmas.

And time is flying by this year, as someone at work pointed out to me - only 50 weeks to go.

... And then it [Christmas] goes and leaves us here
What will we do the rest of the year?
We will live the whole year through
Only looking forward to
Christmas-tide and Christmas cheer
Yes Christmas comes but once a year.

(No, I didn't make that up, it's a song.)

I'll be home for Christmas, and not just in my dreams!

2008-12-22T22:13:00.003-05:00

When I sing that song I have to sing it that alternative way, because it would be untrue and, frankly, way too depressing to sing the other way! What is Christmas without home?

I know I should be in bed now, 'cause I'm driving home tomorrow. Don't worry. I'll be falling asleep by 10:30 and probably won't get up before 4:30. And go to work, and then leave in the afternoon. I hear it's going to snow tomorrow. Oh boy! I just can't wait to drive home in the snow (don't worry, the ice is Wednesday) and sing Christmas songs all the way. Do you know, I think I sang at least half the way home last Christmas. I had thought it would be such a lo-ong trip, by myself, after having Kendra with me for the Thanksgiving trip... but it went amazingly fast.

Just pray I don't hit a deer. I don't care how terrible the roads are or how terribly people are driving, but deer have me a little paranoid right now.

This is going to be an interesting Christmas because, after the real Christmas in Iowa, it will be time for the post-Christmas holidays down in Texas with lots of cousins!

I hope everyone can get home for Christmas, and has safe travels. If for some reason you can't, I do hope you can talk to them a while, and then have some quiet, peaceful Christmas-time.

Merry Christmas #1

2008-12-15T21:46:00.005-05:00

Oh, that's right. I have to finish decorating my tree sometime.

Look, guys!! I discovered the most wonderful new kind of tree stand!

Something Big and Hairy

2008-12-06T17:11:00.005-05:00

I was peacefully driving home on Friday night, around 11:30 P.M. Suddenly, the Abominable Snow Monster leaped out of the ditch and smacked into my car!!

Or it might just have been a deer. I'm not sure. It all happened so fast. And now it's really traumatizing me to have beast hair sticking out of my tire.

The Heat Report

2008-12-03T05:05:00.002-05:00

Oh, by the way, for those of you who read Mommy's blog and check over here to see if the daughter is still alive, after she lost heat at the apartment... fear not! Our heat is back.

In fact, apparently the electric heaters in our room still worked, but it would have been difficult to heat the entire tiny apartment with them. There is just no substitute for hearing the gas heater start popping, and running out to stand with your back to it, getting blasted by hot air. Which I am going to go do right now. mmmm...............

Look at the pumpkin! - Part II

2008-11-24T19:09:00.003-05:00

Look! It's a happy Christian pumpkin.

It's staying happy through the adverse circumstances of life.

Dream come true

2008-11-15T09:25:00.003-05:00

You are never going to believe this, but it's true.

I was called on at work to translate!

The phone rings... it is one of my friends in the department that handles documents and procedures. She had found out some time back that I know French. And on this particular day, she suddenly needed my help with the herculean task of translating

or

A few moments' mental rummaging pulled up the world she needed. To my delight, I realized we would not even need to translate the entire 2-letter word to get it into French. Just change the last letter to "u" (and not even a "u" with an accent, at that).

ou

So I translated a whole letter from English to French. My dream finally came true. I was needed to translate at work!

2008-11-11T21:49:00.000-05:00

Look! It's a Happy Pumpkin.

Which would you choose?

2008-11-08T23:27:00.004-05:00

It's Saturday night. You are at a fall party, at a friend's house, with friends. You all pitched in for a potluck dinner, ate lots, and then played games that made you laugh till you cry and your stomach seriously hurts. It's now about 11 p.m. and a couple of the others, who need to spend the night anyway, want to put on a movie. You're invited to stay for the movie and even spend the night, and your housemate opts to stay for the movie.

Now if you drove separately, what would you do?

1) Stay for the movie

or

2) Go home and go to bed

[Update #1 - 11/9/08]

By popular demand, the abovementioned movie is Cinderella.

However, dear popular demanders, by asking that question, you're really avoiding the main one - "Would you ever choose a movie over sleep on a Saturday night?" No right or wrong here. I just find it fascinating to know what others would do.

[Update #2 - 11/10/08]

As requested - which Cinderella? Disney's Cinderella. You know, the one with the singing mice, blue ball gown, and "Bippity-boppity-boo".

Personally, as far as ranking Cinderella's goes:

3) Disney's
2) The color play
1) The black-and-white musical, with the Sound of Music lady and Mr. What's-his-face

I think it was Monday

2008-11-06T20:35:00.005-05:00

I think this happened Monday, but I really can't remember. It's hard to figure out because the weather outside just does not equal the sterilizingly cold temperature they keep the Research offices. That might possibly make sense to you after you read this. But I think it was Monday.

It was the end of lunch break. End of happily reading in my little spot at work. Time to start the long mental return to work and the business world. Then comes this feeling that there is something nearby, on my left. (Do you ever get those sensations?) Start half-turning to see what it is. Oh no, an animal in the office! How is this happening to me when it should never happen at all?

Then the half-turn is just enough to see that there really is something black right next to the arm of my chair, actually it is right on the arm of my chair! Oh my word!

Insert <violent start> or comment of invisible spectator - "You jumped a foot."

You will never, ever guess what it was.

It was my coat.

It's just amazing how much excitement and laughter we jumpy people can get out life!

Oh yes - the reason I coudn't figure out which day it was: it has been so warm outside all week that I shouldn't have had my coat with me any of those days. But inside an orthopaedics business building, you can never have too many layers.

Sunday

2008-11-02T20:38:00.003-05:00

I bet you all thought I forgot about this blog. Or was too busy to post. Or just didn't have anything to say.

Wrong, wrong, and wrong. I have been thinking of it every day, I have time running out my ears, and the posting possibilities are just so many and varied that, frankly, it's taking all of that thought, time, and deciding power to select one.

Today is Sunday, so I have two notes from church:

1) Along with the bulletin, the church provided a handout - the Kosciusko County Right to Life 2008 General Election Voter Guide. It had a very detailed breakdown of what positions are held on life vs. abortion by the various candidates for state and local offices. I do appreciate this. I kind of wish there was a similar guide for other issues, but I realize that foreign policy is a tad less urgent at the local level, plus this is doubtless the issue which the (our) church feels most strongly about and, perhaps, feels it can provide literature on.

2) Pastor's sermon today was from John 6, specifically John 6:15-21 - when Jesus walked on the water. It was an excellent sermon, but I just about lost it during one part, where Pastor was speaking as if he was one of the disciples telling us the story:

"What do you do when a ghost is coming to your boat?"

Sky

2008-10-12T21:59:00.002-04:00

Don't you wish the earth were just a little smaller?

If it were smaller, then the horizon would slope away more sharply. If that angle were sharper, it might be possible to tilt one's head back, look straight up and see nothing but sky.

But I am still catching things in peripheral vision, and I'm not talking skyscrapers. So for optimal sky-viewing experience, the earth is not quite the ideal size. Not that I would ever complain about it! Just mentioning the fact.

Ovens and Laptops

2008-09-30T21:00:00.003-04:00

What do they have in common?

Minds of their own.

Actually, I personally believe all machines do, but these two are plenty of examples for tonight.

After finally getting home and taking a walk, it was time to try keeping the oven hot enough to bake the squash. See, 350 is just not hot enough to keep the oven interested, and higher temperatures only hold its attention about 10 minutes or so before it starts wandering back down. In fact, it's so bored that it doesn't bother changing the temperature reading on top.... just leaves that for un-smart people to figure out, you know, the people who don't open their oven to check the temperature every 5 minutes.

So, you ask: you can tell exactly what temperature the oven is by how it feels? Nope. I just observed that turning the heat up to 400 - to see if we could move the squash along for the 2nd hour in the oven - seemed to make the oven realize, "oh, it wasn't actually at 375... it was really down to 360 but, if that's what she really wanted, it could start climbing again..."

In between these jogs to the kitchen, I continued messing around with Stacey's laptop to see what had been killing it lately. Continued trying out some of Daddy's suggested tests to see if one of the memory cards was bad. First I had taken out the right-side card and the laptop didn't really die... then I had replaced the right and taken out the left, which successfully killed it twice, albeit over about 3 days (which is a long time to remember what you're testing, how, and even why).

The obvious conclusion from the above exercise: The right-side memory card must have problems, so let's put that one in my computer and see if I can kill it!

Unfortunately, here we are, an hour later and still kicking. In fact, directly after this switch, for the first time in about 6 months I suddenly had a "Good" Internet signal instead of "Low" (which is plenty adequate), but that's not funny and also beside the points. The points are that:

1) If you have 1 of 2 memory cards in your laptop, it will run at a decent rate but apparently just slow enough to not grab the Internet.
2) If you have 2 of 2 memory cards in your laptop, and one of them is not locked all the way in, your laptop will run like it has chronic fatigue syndrome but will pick up the Internet... if you can keep from screaming during the 5-minute wait for a clicked button to indent.
3) If you try switching the cards between right and left sides, they may just lock in, get the computer booted without freezing or dumping the physical memory, get the Internet running and even defy your friend's efforts to tire out the memory by looking up heaps of online photos.

Well, that's enough fun for tonight.

Independent Life

2008-09-23T21:38:00.005-04:00

Actually, I have not just been sitting here admiring my wheels all this time. Actually, I can't admire them at all because the little Civi is off getting a beauty rest.

It is kind of fun to not have a car. I have to find someone to take me to work. I have to find someone to take me back home. (Cannot be the same person.) I have to be ready in plenty of time for 6:40 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. I have to not go places on lunch break. (Making great progress in reading La Chute.) I have to not run errands after work or go places in the evening, unless with Stacey. I have to amuse myself in the evening. (Well, at least I will have to once I get ahead of all the housework, personal business, and everything else in life.) I have to plan ahead and make more friends who will give me rides.

Yes, this is really a great way to live. Everyone should take a vacation from their car once in a while.

Sure, it's fun to go along through life, playing "Let's pretend we are independent and self-sufficient". But come on. Can any of us really believe we are either?

Snazzy Civic

2008-09-13T13:50:00.002-04:00

Look!!

Daddy found me these gorgeous new wheels.

Bright blue Monday

2008-09-13T13:10:00.002-04:00

Monday was the best day at work ever!

My email <dinged> and I answered it. My phone rang and I picked it up and helped someone. During the phone call two more emails arrived in my Inbox, and I took care of one of them while still on the phone. I hung up the phone and <bling> it rang the very second it touched!

Can life be any more complete?

No title tonight

2008-09-06T22:35:00.003-04:00

Oh... was I supposed to write some more about the Vermont trip? As in Days 2 and 3? Let me make a mental note of that (Check - bing).

Actually I wanted to finish something mentioned earlier. Some friends and I read through The Hunchback of Notre Dame (or Notre Dame de Paris, as it should really be called). Being such a seasoned book critic, what should I say? It was certainly intense, laugh-provoking, and interesting - even the huge chapter detailing Paris architecture of the 1400's. Which chapter, by the way, has one of the finest passages of the book. You really should read the whole section on the Exchange building, but here is the end:

Moreover, a building should be appropriate to the climate. This [the Exchange] is evidently built for our cold and rainy sky. It has a roof almost as flat as if it were in the Orient, so that in winter, when it snows, the roof can be swept; and it is evident that roofs were made to be swept.

What exquisite sarcasm! What kind of a mind comes up with that?

Well... but after finishing the book, I really think I dislike it tremendously, especially the ending. Why do we have to write and read sad stories filled with suffering and people's wickedness? So earthly life is like that - but it's not all like that, and even if the bad were 1%, does that still justify whole novels full of it? Why can't we have entirely happy stories, ever? Why is conflict inherent to a "good" plot?

Leaving that book behind... I am barely through the first chapter of La Chute, by Camus, and there is already a pageful of splendid things to share! So that will be coming.

Now I know it is only September 6, but it is really Autumn now. No achy joints exactly, but the change in the weather is making my throat overpoweringly sore, as it did sometime back when our late spring finally arrived. So start enjoying Autumn now!

Please try again

2008-09-02T18:34:00.002-04:00

Is that why it feels so hot? and taking three steps outside works up a sweat?

Because it's 91 degrees?

Oh come on. I really do not find that an acceptable explanation. Especially with the humidity at only 28%.

Pre-Labor Day headlines

2008-08-31T23:53:00.005-04:00

Can you tell I've been around Mommy today? Here it is almost midnight, and I can't sleep, so I'm posting. But this is the "I-just-got-back-from-a-party-and-lots-of-talking-with-friends-
so-I-know-I-can't-sleep-till-I-unwind-a-little" type of "can't sleep". (It will be interesting to see if Blogger posts that as a whole non-wrapped string, as it's looking here in the Compose box.)

By the way, there is no better company than people who grew up overseas or were MKs or - even better - both. They know all the weird and scary and gross stories. I'm just saying you'll never be bored.

Mommy should be home about now, if it's 12:00 AM here, 11:00 PM out in Iowa, and the traffic was tolerable.

In other news, there are about 3 portions of green tomato crisp left, which I'm thinking of putting at a "Buy Now" rate of around $60 each, until such time as the bidding soars beyond, or until people let me know they just can't afford that, or until Stacey and I decide to eat them.

Passing the torch

2008-08-24T21:47:00.003-04:00

I am so proud of my brother! Jason (apparently) just drove himself all the way from Iowa to Texas, a good 14-hour drive. Now it's his turn to bop around in the little '89 blue Toyota. He DID get to the "independent-with-a-car-at-college" stage one year earlier than me, but I guess we can't hold that against him.

(This may mean nothing to you - but this post is brought to you indoors, courtesy of succesful signal-catching angling! Just in time, as this is the first cool evening post-vernal equinox.)

August is Pie Time!

2008-08-20T20:05:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone. Not sure who would read this after such sporadic entries, but anyway....

I am trying to reform. Stopped one activity last month and another one gets dumped this month. Now if friends will just stop showing up and visiting, maybe life will calm down.

Despite all the busy-ness, just look how productive I've been! Guess what I made??

This

Green Tomato Pie!

It was so much fun to make, despite how rather pathetic the crust turned out.

I gave some to friends. Everyone thought it was weird but no one disliked it. Some of them might even have eaten more than the sliver I gave them.

I took some to work and won some small triumphs:

-3 people asked for the recipe
-1 fruit-pie-disliker ate a second bite
-1 tomato-hater said it was pretty good

Everyone tried to guess what it was. Some thought it was green apple, some thought it was pepper, or rhubarb.

All in all it has made for a lot of fun, now to find away to use all my green tomato pie juice. Probably would be yummiest just to drink it, don't you think?

Oh by the way, did you notice? That is the first ever on-blog photo, first try. So give me a break if the formatting ends up terribly, I have no idea how it will actually look.

Vermont Trip - Intermission

2008-07-27T20:40:00.002-04:00

Oh my goodness! Have you ever eaten mustard greens?

I am just eating them for the first time now and you will never guess what they taste like.

They taste like spicy mustard!

(1/3 the heat of full-strength Dijon to be exact)

Vermont trip, Day 1

2008-07-25T21:02:00.002-04:00

I had already arranged to take Friday off and leave early on Thursday - hopefully 3 p.m. Too bad I was feeling ready for bed before 2 p.m. Not an auspicious start for what would be a weekend full of driving and visiting. The hopefully 3 p.m. turned into 3:15 p.m. once I got into my car with CDs and Mapquest at hand and realized my water bottle was absolutely empty.

Driving through Ohio is supposed to be painfully, dreadfully boring. Once getting through the excitement of Fort Wayne interstate changes, I was delighted to discover that at least the speed limit suddenly improved to 70 mph. The first thing I saw in Ohio after the Welcome sign was an even bigger one proclaiming FIREWORKS! for sale. Ohio was only moderately boring, I guess, since I only missed one highway merge. It is pretty farmland, but definitely feels different - not like Iowa at all, and not really like Indiana... kind of Ohio-y-ish.

Some good friends of the extended family, whom I did not really know but called that week (!) were very hospitable, put me up for the night, shared a delicious dinner with real homemade apple pie, and drove me past the old Hoyt home and the high school where Daddy went and the church. And their three boys introduced me to Charlie, who is not just a guinea-pig but a Charlie-pig. He eats parsley like some of us eat chocolate and apparently does a really entertaining job of downing a banana... unfortunately the parents vetoed that show for the night, but we did watch him get started on a big fat carrot.

Vermont

2008-07-14T21:30:00.003-04:00

Don't you like taking weekend road trips during the summer? I do. Vermont sounds just perfect for this weekend. Especially since my very good friend from Germany is there for the summer.

Just wanted to share that exciting news with y'all. :)

Okay, I had better go back and finish the dishes.

The End of the World and related matters

2008-07-10T22:23:00.002-04:00

Look! We have Internet for a few minutes! It may be due to the open window, through which mosquitoes (baby ones too, I just found one on my hand) and other fascinating bugs are coming to investigate my screen light and the lamp.

(Shoot, my mosquito-slapping reflexes need to be honed.)

Everyone should read The Hunchback of Notre Dame, even in English. I know it sounds like a dry old classic, but it is truly more of a comedy, so far. Just listen to this:

Meanwhile, the licensed copyist to the University, Master Andry Musnier, leaned towards the ear of the furrier of the king's robes, Master Gilles Lecornu.
"I tell you, sir, this is the end of the world. The students never were so riotious before; it's the cursed inventions of the age that are ruining us all, -artillery, bombards, serpentines, and particularly printing, that other German pestilence. No more manuscripts, no more books! Printing is death to book-selling. The end of the world is at hand."
"So I see by the rage for velvet stuffs," said the furrier.

Yes, and when they come out with an automatic translating device that deals with idioms, it will be my turn to say "The end of the world is at hand!" And when they figure out a way to just tell computers and technology what to do, it will be the turn of my software engineering siblings. And when they develop a hybrid grass that grows to two inches and never past, it will be my darling mother's turn to say it.

Or it's like that weather forecast where the annoying sarcastic little dog gasps, "Oh NO!!! On Tuesday and Wednesday it is going to be cloudy in Hawaii! Hawaii, it is the Apocalypse for you!!"

By the way, while we are discussing the end of the world and other seemingly remote things, I would like to publish my last will and testament for if they ever get to Time Travel. Please, please, send me anytime but the Eastern Hemisphere before 1491. No matter how early or remote, life will always be civilized if there is chocolate. (And I really think life would be more civilized if we kept it to the days before they started adding sugar to it.)

The Importance of Being a Good Speller

2008-06-16T20:03:00.002-04:00

(Is "speller" a word?)

Today I took one of those three-minute typing tests, in which the text tried to inform me how important it is to spell well. I tapped away while it told me in an awfully wordy, annoying way that, if you ask the best spellers -- really? who are the best spellers? -- they will all tell you that the dictionary is their best friend. (Or something to that effect.) It said bad spellers have terrible vocabulary -- although I didn't catch which came first, the poor vocabulary or the poor spelling -- And that writing with good spelling is lots easier to follow.

Well, that's not true if all the well-spelled words are constructed into a confusing mess of grammar and logic, but it does have a point. I mean, look at this:

Were hiring, start T oday-16 June 2008

Okay, maybe that's more a punctuation issue. But seriously, if spam email titles want to be read they'll have to stop being so depressingly inaccurate to begin with, going and telling people that if they had been on the ball, they could have been hired and could have been starting work
T oday.

By the way, 107 WPM is not sufficient to finish a typing test. I think it would take closer to 150 WPM for the whole text. (Not that anyone's missing anything by not finishing it!)

The blessings of bad reception

2008-06-06T21:21:00.003-04:00

For most of the week I have been scarcely able to convince my wireless card to pick up the connection, even when the laptop has been happily plugged in all day and resting on its favorite chair with its back to the window, through which, I'm guessing, our beloved signal comes.

And then it hit me! Just take it outside!

It's 9:23 on a Friday night. There's still a little light. We have a tornado watch till 10 p.m., but come on, really - it's already done raining and the mosquitos are probably ready to have their opening-season party. The laptop rests just perfectly on the new mailbox-box containing the old mailbox, and an extension cord gives me enough length to sit comfortably just outside my window which is nicely decked out with wasp nests.

This is great. I think it will have to become a tradition!

The Force not so unDark as appear it may is

2008-05-29T20:42:00.004-04:00

Feel like talking Jedi-Force-Master-speak I do. Just rather extremely annoying to be. Just also how annoying can be to show you I want, sentences which their verbs all the way at the end have, but which not the general "verbs ending phrases and sentences" etiquette allow, as for example the fine Germ languages exemplify does, which either the pronoun from the verb separation of dictates or as in other cases occur can the helping verb rather than the verb itself all the way to the end sends, all which the inferiority of imagination prove does, since Jedi-speak only a Darkly cheaply copied and twisted version of English word order present can.

Realize I do that thus discrimination against outer-space languages I myself practice and thus forfeit to be sued in the courts I do myself render.

Back from Aslan's world

2008-05-17T09:44:00.002-04:00

Today is so beautiful! The world looks like Narnia did last night.

Normally I would never think to see a movie on Opening Night, but somehow everyone else instantly thought of that... I did make sure of our tickets by purchasing them Thursday right after work. What a great strategy, except that it was rendered moot by other friends who walked in and got theirs 15 minutes before the movie.

Okay, I won't critique Prince Caspian now, since most of my family hasn't seen it yet. Just a couple notes -

-It is beautifully made, and absolutely full of sound that vibrates you right down to the cellular level. That, or some of my sound sensitivity has been jacked up way too high, which maybe explains why I jump so much.

-Unlike Narnia I or Pirates III, there is no surprise post-credit scene... at least, there wasn't at our theater. No last scene almost makes you feel more gypped than missing it when it was there.

-Jason especially is going to enjoy it!

(Speaking of which - Jason, let me know when you get the soundtrack.)

New car photos - Edited

2008-05-10T17:46:00.003-04:00

Okay, as promised, here are some photos of the lovely new '95 Honda Civic - that is, a link to an album with some photos:

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v603/SharonLHoyt/Warsaw%202008/

Hopefully that works. If it doesn't work I'll scream.

Just kidding!

I even threw in a couple photos of our place, for free.

-----

Edit Note: Apparently that copy-and-paste line above doesn't work. Let's skip the screaming and follow Mommy's bright idea:

Go down the sidebar to the Photos section
Click on "Photobucket Albums"
(You will be on my main Photobucket page)
On the list of Albums at the left, click on "Warsaw 2008"
Bingo, you're there.

As mentioned before - you are welcome to view anything I have on that Photobucket link.

A little letter

2008-05-10T10:14:00.002-04:00

Dear family and friends,

I am writing to share some exciting news with you all!

It is especially exciting for me because it brings you all closer.

Internet access is finally here at home!

love,
Sharon

Latest

2008-04-26T13:28:00.002-04:00

Guess what? I have a new car!

But I forgot to take a picture, so this little description of the most important points will have to suffice for now:

'95 Honda Civic, white, 114,000 miles, power windows and a CD player (provided by previous owner).

Can you believe all that? A '95, so extremely new! Less than 15 years old, unlike the '89 Toyota - which latter is practically as old as I am. Only 114,000 miles... wow, I can't remember driving a vehicle under 200,000. Power windows can be really annoying since I am always rolling my window down and forgetting to put it up till after I've turned the car off, but oh well, just have to train myself. And the CD player! There' s a radio with it, which is nice too. But having a CD player is just too wonderful.

What happens when you're on your own for the week

2008-04-19T16:15:00.003-04:00

Because Stacey left for a week of vacation in Florida, all this happened...

Sunday afternoon I had to amuse myself, started reading a book in a papasan chair after lunch, fell asleep and woke up with a headache and a stomachache thirty minutes before I had to leave for evening church.

Unfortunately, after waking up that night with the same persistent headache, I had nothing but Tylenol PM left and could not find anything else Stacey might have. So I took a Tylenol PM at 3 a.m., with the alarm set for 5 a.m. My word. (Excuse the strong language.) I have never in my life had so much difficulty waking up, or staying awake, or keeping my balance in the morning. Clearly, much as we take aspirin to prevent heart disease, we should take Tylenol PM to give our wake-up hormones a good workout.

Thursday our landlord had the place inspected for termites. No termites, but it looks like they will spray for ants, which means we have to say goodbye to our favorite clean-up crew that comes faithfully out around the kitchen trash every day.

Friday morning, sometime distinctly after 5:36 AM, I stopped to listen to the screen door rattle, then something that sounded like wind blowing hard but quietly. It was odd and almost gave me chills. Did I leave the screen door open last night, I wondered, knowing of course that I hadn't.

At work one of my neighbors stopped by to say Good morning and asked, "Did you feel the earthquake?"

Well no, that was after 5:36... it must have just been a tremor or aftershock. Still, how exciting!

So you see all the terrible and exciting things that happen when you're left to yourself for a week. My, I am so glad to have Stacey back!

There we were...

2008-04-12T14:39:00.004-04:00

... on the deck of the ship.

I was looking over the edge into the water, it was night -

B-OO-O-M!

Something like a nuclear firework cracked deep beneath us underwater and vibrated everything - we all staggered, jumped back from the edge and braced - after 3 seconds - somehow I was still looking over the edge - the water parted! and an enormous missile shot up and out, shaking everything with its passing... arced away... exploded enormously and red in the night sky.

Much later...

2008-04-02T17:19:00.002-04:00

Trevor, I missed your birthday. Happy 6th birthday!

Too bad, I was getting so used to telling everyone you are five-and-a-half. Somehow six seems a lot older.

If I come home to visit and you help make the bread, can you count up to five by yourself when we poke the loaves? I'm sure you can, from what Mommy has told us of your addition skills. You used to say "1, 2, 3, 7, 11"... or something like that.

Now be a good boy and learn to say your Rs this year!

Thursday afternoon

2008-03-20T16:50:00.003-04:00

Wow! What a miracle! This post is being written at 4:51 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon. This was made possible by the Indiana county courthouse closing at 4:30 p.m. Since this is the same time as I finish work, I had to leave at 4 p.m. today just to get across town in time to squeeze in the half-page Indiana voter registration form. Somehow I got behind several slow vehicles (read: 5 mph below the speed limit) and in the way of several police cars (read: 3), but still made it. Whew. The polling notification should arrive in plenty of time for Indiana's relatively late May primary.

And so, here I am stuck at the library, one and a half hours before Chinese lessons begin, with nothing but Internet, thousands of books and my latest Chinese notes. Help. I think I'm going to die of boredom!

Ironic = Frustrating or Very Hilarious

2008-03-15T17:16:00.005-04:00

Imagine this: You rent a nice little apartment but don't have Internet there.

One day, you discover you can get a wireless signal and even the password. You try everything you can think of with your wireless card, but cannot get on.

You just might need some updates for your wireless card.

Someone gives you the download information for these updates, and you go visit a friend who has Internet to download them.

At first you cannot get on your friend's Internet like usual. It takes you quite a while to figure out what you did to it earlier while trying to get on the other network, but finally, --- well, before you figure it out, it turns out that just wiping out and resetting fixes everything.

You get back to your place and happily mess around with installing the new updates. Unfortunately, they don't seem to work.

You pass this information on to your technical expert, who emails you a link for a new download. However, you are not at your own computer, so...

...You go back to visit your friend with the Internet again, in order to get the new download. Unfortunately, whatever you did to your wireless card while installing the new updates that did not work for it at your place apparently have made it not work anywhere.

You are definitely stuck between a big rock and a very hard place, because to try to get On at your place, you have to get On somewhere else to get important new stuff, but you can't get On somewhere else because you're trying to get On at your place. Not to mention that you never know, when you leave one place, what the On status at the other place will be.

How can life be so ironic and so funny!

Manual: How to Set Up Sunday School Chairs

2008-03-01T16:03:00.000-05:00

I’m afraid this is only going to touch on the surface of a deep topic. We won’t even get as far as the technical details of chair type and placement today… just hit on a few theoretical points. Let’s see how much I can get out of one scanty semester’s worth of sociology, which I don’t plan to use at all, and the motto, “Most things can be reduced to geometry if you try hard enough.”

Your situation is a Sunday School class, pre-lesson. Said Sunday School class does not have an extremely high population value, but it is not extremely low either. (I.e. more than just you and your leader.) Your desired result for the combination of situation and population value is a room of happily talking people. How do you arrange this via the chair setup?

Your first thought is a circle of chairs. Just remember that 6 or 7 people (who know each other tolerably well) is the maximum number for a cohesive group. Any more than that, and your ratio of happy talking value to population value plummets. (Unless you are blessed with a high extrovert per head value) You will get either silence or a few scattered hushed chats.

Arrange the chairs in rows and you may not have everyone talking to everyone all the time, but you will have several free conversations going on, which easily provides you with a room of happily talking people. Since these conversations are not entirely isolated, every once in a while, you will attain the ultimate triumph – some topic will leak out of a group into the rest of the room and pull everyone into a conversation.

It’s all about geometry. And the moral of this geometry lesson is: Lines trump circles!

The end of winter

2008-02-24T15:29:00.002-05:00

Pre-spring is here!

It has been 40 degrees for two days. That should qualify, right?

Why you should eat Coriander Seeds

2008-02-15T12:27:00.003-05:00

I suppose this is true of any seeds used as spices, but coriander seeds are perfect because they are little and round and hard, and so, when you eat something with coriander seeds in it --

You will be chewing along on a delicious mouthful, and suddenly your teeth will hit on a seed and pop it open, and all the flavor that was locked in the seed even through cooking will make a little
!burst! into your mouth.

So you should eat them because they are so much fun to eat.

Question for you

2008-02-02T17:35:00.001-05:00

While happily reading along in Chinese history today, I read of someone described as an "individualist, cynic..." etc.

Do individualists tend to be cynical, or do cynics tend to be individualists, or both?

I don't want anyone to get mad at me (which should prove I'm not either of those), so let me hurry to say this question doesn't imply anything negative about either cynicism or individualism. The world and indeed my own family is much richer with both traits! It just seems that those blessed with one seem blessed with the other.

What do you think?

Indiana Anniversary

2008-01-30T17:42:00.000-05:00

As of 8 January 2008, I have lived in Indiana for one year. Do you believe that? I'm not sure I do.

Well, Indiana will have to put up with me through April. I shouldn't have any trouble putting up with Indiana, especially with its weather, which is so much fun because it changes every single day.

Enjoy these last two days of January, and don't forget that we will be getting a whole extra day in February!! Start planning your February 29 parties now.

Thursday morning's adventure

2008-01-19T15:09:00.000-05:00

Thursday morning I got up at 5:00 as always, had my lunch all packed and was ready to walk out the door right at 6:50.

Then I realized my keys weren't lying on the floor by my purse. In fact, they weren't in my purse either. In fact, they weren't in my coat pocket or yesterday's pants pocket or dumped on the closet floor or left on top of the microwave... they weren't anywhere!

I was getting worried for about five minutes of perplexed searching, till I remembered that spare car key I had had made (after locking myself out of the car the second time). Well, that was all right, then, as long as I could get to work! Just had to leave the door unlocked and hope Stacey was around or at least not out of the country when I got home. After that, it was just funny. Funny imagining what I would have done without any keys whatsoever, and funny imagining what I was going to do... laughing kept me warm all the way to work.

I was walking into the building when I noticed that my coat was hitting the leg rather more firmly than usual. Whoops... yep... there actually was a little hole in one coat pocket corner, and they had slipped all the way to the lining.

That was funny too, only not so funny as it would have been to not find them at all. Oh well.

2008 Presidential Elections - in Europe

2008-01-19T14:20:00.000-05:00

That is, President of the European Council. And there must be a vice-president-type post along with it. Because, according to this Le Monde article from Thursday, French president Nicolas Sarkozy possibly has the brilliant idea of a Blair-Sarkozy ticket for these top seats of European power.

Unfortunately, not everyone is completely enchanted by this idea, one being former French president Valery Giscard d'Estaing, who "didn't refrain from speaking all the evil he thought of it".

What evil? "The future president must be in sync with the majority of his own country, and belong to a country that respects all the European rules." The second clearly not something that the U.K. can overcome, seeing as they "practice the 'opting out' " regarding said rules - to use the journalist's expression (and yes, that's "l'opting out" in French. Doesn't that just hurt?).

But of course, the real evil is what Edouard Balladur (former Prime Minister of France) told Le Monde - credibility. Because, as Edouard Balladur (former Prime Minister of France) reminds us, the president of the European Council must have an attachment to the independence of Europe - and how, how, "how would Mr. Blair be credible to incarnate this ambition when, in the disastrous Irak affair, he always held zealously to the U.S. side?"

No, he's right, of course. A President of the European Council who sides with the U.S. is impossible. It would kind of defeat the whole point of the European Union.